Is Dax Shepard Bert's New Best Friend? | 2 Bears, 1 Cave

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2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer 1h 37m 4 speakers 7 chapters transcribed
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When did Dax Shepard start his podcast?

Tom Segura 0:00
hundred percent are we rolling so wait let's start you started your podcast in 2017 yeah yeah it'll be seven years on valentine's day before or after chips after in the wake of depression i'm dying to hear about that yeah yeah yeah i was um supremely depressed about the performance it's a good movie thank you so much let me tell you the nuances that no one gets in this goddamn movie
Bert Kreischer 0:29
Please break it down for everyone. Your thumbprint of your character is Dax Shepard. I don't know if everyone catches that, but as a guy who listens to the podcast and watch that movie, you do talk.
Tom Segura 0:40
He has to deal with too many surgeries, and he's addicted to fucking painkillers. And he talks therapy talk. He's constantly getting too emotional with everyone, and everyone's uncomfortable with it. Yes, it's very me.
Bert Kreischer 0:50
And by the way, Pena is awesome. Michael Pena is awesome in that. Oh, he's outrageous. It's a great fucking. How many movies have you done with Vincent D'Onofrio?
Tom Segura 0:59
A lot at this point. As I told him, we did this movie, The Judge, together with Robert Downey and Duvall. And I just fell in love with him. And afterwards, he called and said, hey, we're going to do this movie, a Christmas movie. And I go, great. He goes, I'll send you a script. I go, no, no, you don't have to send it to me. I'll just, whatever you do, I'll do. You want to do a KFC commercial? I'm there. Because he's Vincent D'Onofrio. Dude. What a stud. He's a fucking... Also, you know, a lady killer. Really? Oh, my God. I've never seen... Well, funny enough, that movie had two of the world's great lady killers, Billy Bob Thornton, which prior to meeting him and working with him, of course, I thought he was brilliant and I love Sling Blade, but you go like, wow, man, he got Angelina Jolie. This is really fascinating. Yeah.

What does Dax think about podcasting during the pandemic?

Tom Segura 1:50
And then I was around him, and again, I'm charmed by him, but then I went out to eat with he and my wife, and he just laser-beamed my wife in the eyes with his eyes, and she just got all fucked up in a second. I was like, oh, my God, I see what's happening. That's what's going on. And then, lo and behold, D'Onofrio's got the same powers. For real? Oh, yeah. I don't have that. So the two of them, you don't have that? No. You've been married 20 years? 20, yeah. I talk myself out of pussy. Okay. Well, you should as a married man.
Bert Kreischer 2:20
No, no. You really had to be committed to fucking me if you wanted to fuck me. Because why? I'd give you every excuse not to.
Tom Segura 2:28
Why? What was the holdup? Intimacy issues. Because you were afraid if you did that you'd be then responsible for them emotionally?
Bert Kreischer 2:36
No. It's like someone who's really bad at karaoke not wanting to sing karaoke.
Tom Segura 2:39
Yeah.
Bert Kreischer 2:39
Like I just didn't.
Tom Segura 2:40
But it wasn't that you thought you were a terrible lay or anything. Or that too. That was it. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Wait, are you good at sex? That's an impossible question to answer.
Bert Kreischer 2:52
I would hate any dude that said I'm fucking good at sex. Can I tell you? Yeah. I would say the majority of America thinks that that is how your relationship, like you're, I just imagine you guys were primal. Like you guys fucking just, cause first of all, you are all of us.
Tom Segura 3:12
Me? Yeah. Right. As far as like a regular man. That's why we're fans of yours. Okay. We each in first. It's your show. No, it's yours. You decide the order. But I think it'd be really fun to first go through the fact that you didn't like me. And then you kind of liked me. First of all.
Bert Kreischer 3:26
No, no, no. Hold on. Fuck off.
Tom Segura 3:28
Fuck off.
Bert Kreischer 3:29
I think that'd be a fun starting spot. So let's start off with. Let's do a little housekeeping. So you start your podcast in 2017. Now, you got to remember, me, Tommy, Joe, Ari, Joey Diaz, Duncan Trussell, we're all early podcasters. Oh, yeah. I'm way late.
Tom Segura 3:44
And believe me, I was self-conscious about it.
Bert Kreischer 3:46
And by the way, we did this to the Kelsey brothers, too. So you're in good company. Well, better to pick a fight with me than the Kelsey brothers. And we get on doing a podcast, and your podcast is blowing the fuck up. And it's good. Sure, sure, sure, sure. And it's good. And you're getting great guests. Sure. Yeah, I would be mad. Guests we could never get.

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