Matt McCusker's Wild Drug Dealing Stories | 2 Bears, 1 Cave
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What happened with the United Healthcare CEO?
Yeah, big Patreon guys. So... You're business savvies? I think so. I think we're pretty savvy. I think you are too. That's what I always tell myself, man. Whenever I get too spun out about all the personality bullshit, I always just say, look, I'm a small business owner. What do you want from me? I'm just running a small business, dude.
I I've told so many people that I think all of us, if you do stand up, whether you see it this way or not, it doesn't matter. It's objectively true. You're an entrepreneur. Like your business is what you, your comedy and how you present it and everything, but you're a business owner.
Yeah. I feel like it takes the heat off. Otherwise, you become the commodity. That's where it gets personal. This sucks. You're like, well, it's me. I'm the product, and I don't really appreciate you saying that very much.
This reminds me of when I shaved my face a few weeks ago, and everyone was like, I hate your face. I go, this is my face, bro. It's my face. It's not a turkey sandwich. This is my face. And this guy came up to me at a bar. and he goes it's good the beard's back and i go yeah and he goes yeah that was bad and i go it wasn't that bad and he goes he goes nah it was bad and i go what the man why are you doing this to me he's like it looks really i got i go my face my face looks so bad he was like yeah dude that sucked you look terrible i was like what the I had to shave for the show. You know about the show.
Holy shit.
Yeah. Oh, my god, dude.
Dude, you look like a totally different guy. I know. You know, did I? What the fuck? I didn't tell you that. You look like the guy who shot the United Healthcare CEO. Are you sure you didn't do it? That was last week. We could have got our guy. Dude. It is kind of similar. Did you inscribe... You know we inscribed the bullets. Yeah, deny. Yeah. And delay. Yeah, and depose or something. Can I tell you that... What the fuck, dude? I think you killed that guy.
I know. The... There I am. Oh, dude. Do you know that NYPD released those images a couple days ago? And I'm just on my phone, and I see them. Yeah. You know, sometimes you just get the... People think you really... I'm just like, whatever. I put them in my stories, those photos, and I just put wanted, right?
You were just ringing the alarm bell? I was just like... It's like...
This guy's wanted. You put up a wanted poster? Yeah, I put up a wanted poster in my stories.
Can I tell you, though?
That's pretty cool. What was crazy? It was breaking news.
Yeah, it was.
And I was like, he's wanted. So many people replied like, nah. That's like I'm not turning him in. Oh, I know. And I'm like, yeah, he fucking killed somebody on the sidewalk. And they're like, nah, should have offered a bounty for him. Fucking really crazy. The way that this murder is people going like, well, people are pumped. Yeah, it's really crazy.
I was literally I was just reading about the fact that like people are celebrating the fact that this guy just got shot in his front door.
Yeah. They're like, good. Good. Good. Really insane. Yeah, it's pretty fucking- And I know that that business is really brutal, and that company in particular has a horrible reputation. They do, yeah. But to just be like, good. To the guy dying on the sidewalk?
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