2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer
The Blue Origin Broads Backlash w/ Thomas Lennon | 2 Bears, 1 Cave
Mon, 28 Apr 2025
Check out Bert's new special "Lucky" streaming on Netflix! The 2 Bears 5k is this Sunday! There’s still time to sign up and join us in Tampa at Raymond James Stadium! Sign up at https://www.2bears5k.com/#intro SPONSORS: - Go to https://shipstation.com and use code CAVE to sign up for your FREE trial. - Learn more about Lightstrike at https://Drinklightstrike.com or follow on TikTok and Instagram @drinklightstrike. - You can find Cremo’s new line of antiperspirants and deodorants at Target or https://Target.com - Get started at https://factormeals.com/bears50off and use code bears50off to get 50 percent off plus FREE shipping on your first box. - Head to https://policygenius.com to get your free life insurance quotes and see how much you could save. This week on 2 Bears 1 Cave, Bert Kreischer is joined by legendary funnyman and certified bear Thomas Lennon for one of the wildest rides yet. No stranger to confrontations, Thomas tells Bert some stories about a fight he got into in the real-world and the internet. They dive into the Amazon reviews of Mein Kampf, unpack the all-female Blue Origin space flight, and debate which celebs should be launched into orbit next. Thomas also opens up about working with Christopher Nolan, shares the weirdest thing he’s ever used his fame for, and the two squirm over some spelunking stories. The two also discuss claustrophobia, Tom's basketball injury, suicide pods in Switzerland, and whether getting beat up by a woman is a fair fight. From film criticism to Karen moments, to the legendary Pink Palace, this episode has it all! 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 286 https://tomsegura.com/tour https://www.bertbertbert.com/tour https://store.ymhstudios.com Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:01:23 - Mein Kampf 00:06:34 - Women In Space 00:11:03 - Happy Endings 00:18:18 - Back To The Lady Astronauts 00:22:37 - Thrill Seeking 00:26:00 - Caves 00:35:53 - A Funny Death 00:40:05 - Fame 00:45:47 - Tom's Broken Body 00:49:37 - Swiss Unalive Pods 00:56:38 - The Man Who Would Be King 00:59:44 - Christopher Nolan Movies 01:07:24 - Film Criticism 01:22:27 - Confrontations 01:34:57 - Cop Stuff 01:39:34 - Karen Moments 01:42:57 - Can't We All Just Get Along 01:49:38 - Couples Therapy & The Space Draft 01:55:31 - Body Acceptance Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Chapter 1: What are the Amazon reviews of Mein Kampf?
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Chapter 2: What are the thoughts on women in space?
My grandfather used to always have a pen in his, if he ever wore a suit, which was only to like funerals and things, he was born in 1902. Was he really? Yeah, he had a pen in his outer jacket. And he said, that was the style at the time. And my grandmother was like, that wasn't the style. She's like, you did that so people knew that you knew how to read.
So they would just have the pen, like a reading brag.
That's why I carry these around. Oh, they look like you're fancy? He's a reader, huh? Mm-hmm. Yeah.
What's the last book you read? I literally can't do it, and I always thought I was sort of a smarty pants. I haven't read a book. I honestly can't think of it. Wait.
Nope. Wait. Nope. Nope. There was a, we were on our honeymoon. There was a woman. We went to a really nice place for our honeymoon. And there was a woman reading a book. And I've never seen Leanne spit fluid out of her nose before. And the woman said to Leanne, hey, I think Bert would like this book. Leah said, spits a drink out of her nose and goes, are there pictures in it?
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Chapter 3: What happens during the all-female Blue Origin flight?
I can't remember last time I read a book. It just doesn't come up. Do you think books are going to be gone one day? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Soon. Very soon. Yeah, very, very soon. How do you... I mean, I wonder if I would, you know, like...
Maybe I should at least get into like Fifty Shades of Grey or something that maybe is going to, you know, fill that, scratch that itch of like people getting boners and stuff. But haven't tried it yet.
I'm always impressed when neo-Nazis read Mein Kampf and I go, wow, you read it? That's crazy. You read the whole thing.
Okay. First of all, no, there won't be books pretty soon. We were at me and Ken Marino. We went on a bike trip in Italy. That'll give the shortest version of the story. There's probably more to it, but I'm going to give it real short. And we're at this swimming pool. There's a sort of nice masseria hotel out in the, you know. And the lifeguard at the pool is reading Mein Kampf. We see.
And he's like a young guy in a speedo. Just so it's like you can kind of see his dick. And he's also reading Mein Kampf and everything. The whole thing feels weird. Yeah. You know. And I'm the kind of guy who's always just like, hey, let's not mess with the guy who's boners out and he's reading Mein Kampf. Let's just let it – you know what? Let's let him be.
But Ken Marino, as much as I love confrontations, I love it. I hate them. I'm almost – me and your neighbors almost had a thing. We'll get into that in a minute.
That's why people can say racist things to me and I just go, cool. You don't like confrontations? I hate confrontations.
I love them.
Are you serious?
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Chapter 4: What are the wildest encounters with fame?
DogBreath101, first let me say I bought this as a gift. Who the fuck do you give Mein Kampf to?
I had hesitant feelings about ordering the book. I don't think I ever hesitated to purchase a book, but for me, this was it. I'm not sure what the book's content are, but the author helped create pure evil on humanity. Okay.
so he's awful the same as the like the weird there's a lot of weird guys in speedos who are like i just need to know the history oh this one go but he gives it four stars because the delivery was asap you know whenever i want my whenever i want someone's comp whenever i want dinah comp or someone else's comp this is crazy
Just read it.
But look up, you can get, look up reviews of anything. Look up, you know, passages from the Bible. There's Bible quotes, you know, that'll be like, judge not lest you be judged has one star. Hey, did you watch the women go to space? I've thought of little else. I'm so glad. I have so many thoughts. Okay. Yes, I did.
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Chapter 5: What strange stories are shared about claustrophobia?
Can I polarize everything right now? You loved it. I loved it. I cried. Okay. I cried and my dad was watching it.
I want to hear so much more about how that made you cry.
Okay. Okay, I'll tell you why. Okay. This is for real. Now, listen, as a comic, I'm a contrarian.
I love that you're going against literally every thought-thinking person in the world right now on this.
That's why I don't talk about politics, because all of my opinions are very true to who I am and how I feel, and they're always very sensitive, and they're always very raw. No, you're a good... And so this is what did it for me.
I wouldn't be here if I thought you were as scary as you seem. I'm going to take another sip of wine before I overshare. Well, let's go, because this could be... Oh, Jesus. All right.
By the way, hang on, I watched it on replay Sunday morning, right? So I already knew the ending. Why?
Why?
I'm on the treadmill and my dad's in my gym. My dad's at my desk. I'm on the treadmill and I turn it on and you see the Kardashians and Oprah and everyone's sitting in the waiting room.
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Chapter 6: What are the thoughts on suicide pods in Switzerland?
Let's be honest, the dudes who are piloting the thing. Have you seen a picture of all the guys?
Yeah.
We keep that real quiet.
So, and I just thought, I thought, okay, then maybe I'll write a bit about this. I'll maybe, let me watch it. And so I start watching it and they start to take off and I go, that's pretty cool, man. Rockets are pretty fucking badass. And then this is what got me. The flower.
No, no, no, no.
I only saw the exterior shot. I never saw interior. I never saw any interior. I only watched exterior. So it was the speed and the height is what got me. And then I started going like, they're going like 20%. 1200 miles per hour. And they're at three, what? 1,700 miles per hour. And they're at like 330,000 feet in the air. And I just started going like, holy shit, what a crazy experience.
And life wasn't guaranteed. And I was thinking about the fragility of life. And then all these things. I got emotional. And my dad's watching. He goes, this is fucking stupid. Did you cry at this? I cried. I love that you cried.
I cried yesterday, by the way.
Why? I cry all the time.
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Chapter 7: How do confrontations play a role in comedy?
It's Kardashians.
It's got to be Skims and Spanx. Skims and Spanx. Skims and Spanx. Yeah. Got to be.
Yeah. By the way. Got to be. Immediately bring Playboy back. Do a fucking photo shoot of all of them naked. Yeah. Yeah. I'd buy it.
Yeah. Yeah.
I'm only looking at two.
Yeah.
No, I'm aware.
You just said all of them. And I'm like, yeah, you know, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I wouldn't mind seeing Amanda win.
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Chapter 8: What is the connection between fitness and mental health?
It breaks my heart that you think the world is that transactional that you can just go, Hey, what about a little, huh? Like I, and I, I've, I was on a, I was at, I do. I mean, I do that at the dentist, but that's different.
She's Russian. It's cool. It's completely different.
I actually, at the dentist, I was like, the last time I was there, I was like, it's so crazy. I don't let a lot of people put their fingers in my mouth. Oh, yeah, it's weird. But they just randomly, people just put their fingers. Let me just get in there. Yeah, I'm always blown away at guys who can do that. I think it's just crazy.
Well, I feel like the odds of somebody being like, no. What an amazing bummer that would be. What lack of backbone do you have? You're like, okay. And then now you've crossed that bridge.
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