Is DOGE Saving America? Matt Damon is a Hero, & Steve Smith Sr. Is a Demon

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What is the life announcement involving Matt Damon?

Andrew Schulz 0:14
Schultzy. Schultzy, Schultzy, Schultzy.
Matthew.
Andrew Schulz 0:18
Hey, cute baby. I didn't get the Amber Alert. Hey, Matt. How are you? Hey, Matt. How are you? It's always good to see you. Good to see you too, man.
Yeah. What are you two up to today? Oh, Jesus. We are celebrating. My new special's coming out.
Andrew Schulz 0:34
Oh, nice.
Yeah.
Andrew Schulz 0:35
What are you, stand up there and grow a mustache?
Actually, if you want to know, it's about my wife and I trying to make a baby. It's like Red Tomb. Like what? No, not my red tube. What are you talking about, weirdo?
Andrew Schulz 0:50
Oh.
We had a lot of trouble getting pregnant.
Andrew Schulz 0:53
Oh. Oh, I'm sorry. Thank you. Appreciate that. Well, you should have come to me for that. Come to you for what? Well, I know everything there is about being born, right? You can use that in your skit if you want.
Matt, how the f*** would I use that in my comedy?
Andrew Schulz 1:07
So what was the issue? Like, are you, like, limp?
No, I'm not limp, okay? I get pretty hard. Well, I believe you. I do get pretty hard. I believe you. Do you want to know what the special's about or not? Sure. All right. It's basically this. The doctor puts the embryo in my wife. The second he puts it in, I'm like, ugh. No one says your sperm is like a C-plus.
Charlamagne tha God 1:26
Blacked out.
Shit!
Andrew Schulz 1:36
Did you just clip-montage me? Yeah. You clip-montaged me. You asked me to shoot... You want to battle with me? You want to clip-montage battle with me? Four decades in the movie business. You want to play this game with me? No, you just said you wanted no one to... Why don't you get a load of this?
I couldn't get the rights to the movies. Oh, fuck. Yeah, we reached out and there was like a whole... What kind of special is this? Do me a favor. Don't watch the special. It's not for people like you. What the fuck does that mean, people like me? Yeah, people like you.

What behind-the-scenes stories are shared about Matt Damon?

Andrew Schulz 2:02
I'll watch your fucking I'm shooting blanks comedy special as much as I fucking want to. I'll watch it twice. As a matter of fact, where's it playing? I don't want to tell you. Where the fuck is it playing? Netflix.
Okay, but don't do that thing where you like embarrass me. No, no, I wouldn't want to embarrass you.
Andrew Schulz 2:16
Hey, everybody, everybody, listen. Andrew Schultz has a comedy special about how his balls are full of oatmeal, and we're all going to watch it, okay? Thanks. Thank you. You are so Boston. It's amazing. I'm watching it now. I wasn't going to watch it. Now I am going to watch it. Okay. When's it coming out?
I don't want to tell you.
Andrew Schulz 2:33
Tell me when it's coming out.
I'm not going to tell you when it's coming out.
Andrew Schulz 2:35
Tell me when the fuck it's coming out.
March 4th, but you better not tell a single person, Matt.
Andrew Schulz 2:39
I better not tell a single person?
You better not tell a single person.
Andrew Schulz 2:41
You don't tell me what I get to tell people. Don't put my business on the streets, Matt. What world do you live in, man? We're in a diner in Chelsea. Matt? I will tell whoever I want to tell whenever I want to tell.
You're not going to tell a single soul.
Andrew Schulz 2:51
Yeah, watch this.
Oh, Jesus.
Andrew Schulz 2:52
Hey, everybody. This dumbass right here has a special about his low sperm count, and it's on Netflix! Wait, what's the date? I forgot. Just remembered it, dipshit. March 4th. March 4th on Netflix. Bum-bum! You feel better? Mm-hmm. You feel you got it all out? That was a good promo. Yeah, that was pretty good. Is that the same baby from American Sniper?
What's up, everybody? Welcome to Flagrant. If you already saw that, thank you very much for watching it. Again, I appreciate you. Special's out March 4th on Netflix. That's Tuesday, March 4th. So next Tuesday. Damn, already a week away. Hell yeah. Yeah, shout out Matt Damon, bro. What was that like? Your neighbor. He's just a legend. There's a funny take that we did not use and I was like bullying Dove into doing it. But you know the line where he gets up and he goes, Andrew Schultz has a special where his balls are made out of oatmeal. So in the skit, Dove looks at the oatmeal and then he just puts it down. I go, yeah, you know, it'd be even funnier. Andrew Schultz has a comedy special about how his balls are full of oatmeal.

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