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Chapter 1: What are the boys' thoughts on brutal roast battles?
what's up everybody and welcome to flagrant your boy schultz see alex media mark gagnon miles media in the building uh how are you guys these roasts are getting brutal bro i'm getting soft
I'm in. So many jokes.
I was like, ouch.
Get off the internet, bro. Get off the internet now. The internet will have you feeling that things are worse than they are. Bruh. When they talked about, well, we get to get into it later.
Yeah.
But fuck.
It was... You didn't feel none of the jokes were a little rough? We'll get into it. We'll get into it, man. We flew back from California a couple days with both kids.
Oh, nice.
I don't know how Epstein did it, man. I'll be honest with you. Traveling with kids is so fucking brutal, bro. He had to have a different plane, right?
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Chapter 2: What happens during the Kevin Hart roast?
It is crazy that they haven't devised a system, a place to put the kids. Because they did it with the animals.
right like i'm not saying and i'm very grateful for my kids don't get me wrong of course of course five hours on the screen yeah you see epstein died spirits no longer here oh at least with spirit they get to watch violence you know like because my kid's not on the screen but he could watch two baby mommas beat the shit out of each other But we were just sitting there.
My wife was like, we're not doing any screens. And I was like, what? And she's like, yeah, we're not doing any screens. And my wife is in the seat in front of us. And I'm behind with Shiloh. That's kind of fucked up of her, yo. Yo, but she's breastfeeding the baby and everything like that. And I'm back. And I tried to do no screens. And I threw on that Coco Melons, bro. On your screen?
Chapter 3: How do parents cope with traveling with kids?
Son, on my screen, I put the Coco Melons. I didn't even have my volume on. I don't think I blinked for 30 minutes straight.
That shit should be illegal.
That's terrorism.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Bro, it's so many flashing lights. And I'm literally like glued. My daughter is glued to the screen. My daughter's getting jump scared. Like there's so much stimulus. My daughter keeps going like this. She goes, ha!
And then she'll look at me and she'll be like, ha, ha, ha.
And this is her first time. Imagine your first time trying any drug. is fentanyl or heroin. There was no gateway, no screen to Cocomelon. I think we got to show Cocomelon to you.
So wonderful. So on Mother's Day, the one rule your wife asked you not to do, you broke it. No, no, no. He didn't break it. No, no, I broke it. I broke the fuck out of it. No, because they weren't watching it. You were watching it.
And they chose this guy.
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Chapter 4: What are the impacts of Cocomelon on children?
I don't want to hear none of that no more, bro. I tried to put on the first episode of Sesame Street. Emma downloaded it onto the iPad. That's good. The first ever episode of Sesame Street. It's probably trash. The way Shiloh couldn't give a fuck after watching Coco Melon. It was like smoking a cigarette after you inject heroin straight into your fucking head. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Zero.
Didn't even understand it logically. She was like, why is he in the garbage? There was no... She was like, why is this entertaining or fun? And this transformed television. This one show transformed television.
I mean, you've seen little kids react to Cocomelon, right? You've seen the videos? No. I'm trying to find one. There's videos of little kids hearing the theme song and they go crazy. Look at this. Little kids sleeping.
Oh, no. Give me that. No, this show is bad, bro. You can't do it. Wow. You can't do it. They get so fired up. But you also can't. Alien is crazy. You also can't fly for five hours with two kids. You can't do that. Yeah. That's an impossible task.
I don't know how people did that. The fact that she asked you to do that is, that was mean. That's mean to everybody else on the plane.
Yo, like, come on. Here's the other thing. Like, I didn't even think about no one else on the plane.
Yeah.
They didn't even enter my brain.
Yeah.
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Chapter 5: What are the implications of having a Chinese spy as a mayor?
You believe in demons. Shut the fuck up. Bro, there's a whole book dedicated to it.
I believe in demons, too. And whatever demons have been putting pressure on my Knicks for the last fucking 40 years, please alleviate some of that shit this year. Demons. It is, son, the energy. I've never felt this.
Mm-hmm.
People don't even want to talk about it in a group chat. Like I have my group chats for basketball games go crazy. And there's just like third quarter up by 40. Someone be like, looking good. Someone put a broom emoji. I think he'll put the broom emoji in the group chat. Nobody even responds. The second the game was over, like, yeah, we got that sweep. So I posted one video that a guy made.
It was like a song about it, about us sweeping Philly. And even after that, I was like, I ruined it, dude.
Oh, you posted it before the game?
No, after.
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Chapter 6: How do the hosts react to the release of UFO files?
It was even after. I'm like, we still got another season. When is the next game? this the uh what's it called series is two two so we gotta wait for them to settle that so we got a little time to fuck shit up yeah they're gonna start partying and shit yo everybody just don't go to miami and get on the yacht don't make the mistake you saw the interview with jaylen
They were like, how do you feel the fact that they built this team around you to win a championship and it's working, da-da-da. And his response was cool. He was like, look, right now I'm focused on this. I'll answer that question years from now when it's all said and done. Or something like that. He seemed like he was very locked in.
New York, New York. This is a public service announcement. If you see any of these motherfuckers at the club, snitch. I don't even want you guys at Carbone, Terese. I don't want you at Fort Charles. I don't even want you eating red meat for the next month. If you see any Knicks out of the house, you got to call 311. What's the emergency hotline? Is it 311?
You call 311 and you report them immediately. You guys got to be in your houses in Westchester, Jersey, or Connecticut, wherever the fuck they stay. No fucking hoes. No.
Chapter 7: What are the details surrounding Epstein's alleged suicide note?
No fucking hoes. And New York hoes, by the way. New York hoes. Help. Yeah. Stay away. Stay away. Keep that pussy closed for one month. Exactly. This is blood sport. We need these motherfuckers filled with testosterone for the next month. Do not drain these guys. Please, New York hoes. Yeah. I would say Cleveland, Detroit hoes. But I'm not worried about y'all.
We're not fucking with y'all anyway, so you try your best. Do whatever you do to come up. We are not worried about either Cleveland or Detroit O's draining New York Bulls.
You try your hardest. We've been to Detroit and Cleveland. Okay? We're coming back home to the wives. That away game is just that. There's no concern over here for our New York Knicks about getting caught up some shit in Cleveland, Detroit. Yeah, that is pretty good.
Shit.
Or OKC.
Who do you think's going to the finals on the West? I don't even know who's in. OKC or maybe San Antonio? Probably OKC, most likely. Yeah, so we have a clear path in terms of hoes. I don't even want to say the words. But if it's L.A.
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Chapter 8: What are the highlights from the Strickland vs. Hamzat fight?
versus New York, they could throw some serious distraction at the boys.
You got to watch out for OG. Say again? OG. Oh, yeah, with the hammy? Yeah. Wait, what? And the hose. Wait, what do you mean? He brings the hose out. Yeah, we can't have all that. You got to chill out. Chill out. We can't have all that. Are we even allowed to look at that? Yeah. At the odds right now, or is this... Look at the West. Yeah, look at the West.
What is the couch you have the West at?
Who's coming out of the West? San Antonio or Oklahoma? 74 on San Antonio. Or on Oklahoma, sorry. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, most likely it's going to be OKC. But we got, I mean... Nothing. We'll see. We can see what happens.
Yep, yep. Best team will win. Yeah, may the best team win. Yep. Now y'all are making me superstitious. I don't think you know what this means, bro. I really don't. Honestly, I don't. If the Knicks win, we will make Mamdani a citizen. I think he's a citizen. Double citizen. We're going to make him a double citizen. What does that mean?
He's going to get what he gets to be, whatever he wants in the United States. He could use his African accent. If he wins, he could use his African accent for the rest of the week. New York will be a communist city if he wins.
I mean, the Soviets are good at sports. I'm just saying. The Soviets, they had a great run. Fucking Connie. There's something about a little Soviet hammer and sickle vibes that makes a good sports team. That's all I'm saying. Maybe we could use a little more of that. Think about it. All the women in burkas, the men are going to be smashing. A little more testosterone. Right?
You would think that the Middle East would be better at sports if that was the case, right? I don't even know if they got athletes. Is there a sport that they're good at over there?
Well, when they go somewhere else, then they get really good.
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