Menu
Sign In Search Podcasts Libraries Charts People & Topics Add Podcast API Blog Pricing
Podcast Image

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Funny Pregnancy

20 Mar 2026

Transcription

Transcript generated automatically by AI and may contain errors.

Chapter 1: What is the main topic discussed in this episode?

0.554 - 5.16 Dan Shepard

Welcome, welcome, welcome to Armchair Anonymous. I'm Dan Shepard. I'm joined by Lily Padman.

0

5.701 - 5.841 Monica Padman

Hi.

0

6.042 - 9.566 Dan Shepard

Today we have funny pregnancy stories.

0

9.807 - 11.689 Monica Padman

Pregnancy can go all kinds of ways.

0

Chapter 2: What funny pregnancy stories are shared in this episode?

11.87 - 25.308 Dan Shepard

It really can. You know, we often get gifted evacs and our other prompts. And anytime that happens, I'm just grateful. That's right. The universe is smiling on us. Yes. Please enjoy funny pregnancy stories.

0

Chapter 3: How do pregnancy experiences differ among women?

28.112 - 34.173 Unknown

Hard times come and go. I'm slow

0

47.467 - 48.108 Dan Shepard

Can you hear us?

0

48.609 - 51.776 Mackenzie

I thought this could be a prank. I'm like, maybe it's not.

0

52.918 - 54.502 Dan Shepard

It might yet still be.

0

54.802 - 55.945 Mackenzie

AI is pretty powerful.

56.005 - 61.777 Dan Shepard

Maybe a loved one coordinated something and there's going to be a pop out.

61.797 - 62.919 Mackenzie

That would be extra special.

63.099 - 64.362 Dan Shepard

What fake name do you want?

64.342 - 70.559 Mackenzie

Okay, I'm gonna use Mackenzie. I don't think I look like a Mackenzie, but I'll tie it in later why I chose that name.

Chapter 4: What humorous incident happened during the pregnancy test?

292.925 - 301.433 Mackenzie

You're not Googling stuff in the back like, you know. So he's doing the exam. Monica, I'm sure you've experienced this exam. You're wearing that super cool front open shirt thing.

0

301.473 - 301.573 Unknown

Yeah.

0

301.553 - 314.86 Mackenzie

And he's feeling these spots and he's like, huh, this is interesting. I'm like, oh my gosh, I'm so scared. And he starts to feel one of the spots and he goes, oh my gosh. And I'm like, what? He goes, it's a nipple.

0

315.041 - 317.706 Dan Shepard

No, wait, what?

0

317.787 - 334.627 Mackenzie

I know. My sister was like, Dax is going to have a lot of follow-ups on this. But here's what he does. Instead of being like, okay, honey, you're all right. You appear to have grown an extra nipple in pregnancy. He goes, oh my gosh, I've never seen this. What? In all my years. And squeezes it and milk comes out.

334.887 - 336.471 Dan Shepard

It's lactating.

336.451 - 357.143 Mackenzie

I've heard about this because there's like breast tissue that goes up into your armpits. Oh, I'm so glad it's not cancer. And then I'm like, what is happening? He runs out into the hallway. He's like, I got to get someone else to see this. So the other doctors are coming in marveling at it. Oh, my gosh. You're right. It does produce milk. And I'm like, what do I

357.123 - 361.289 Dan Shepard

Well, they've heard about this medically and they haven't seen it and they are pumped.

361.309 - 363.913 Monica Padman

This is an episode of Friends, Ross's thing.

Chapter 5: How did the pregnancy story unfold during labor?

442.003 - 450.394 Dan Shepard

These could be up and down your arm. That's comforting. But my next thought would be, okay, so how do we remove them? Were you thinking like, oh, I'm going to get these removed?

0

450.374 - 455.581 Mackenzie

Yes. I was like, so what do I do? And she was like, honey, I'd just leave it. I was like, well, I don't want to.

0

455.601 - 456.302 Monica Padman

Can you see it?

0

456.322 - 459.165 Mackenzie

Yeah, you can. OK, it's right there. Oh, you see it?

0

459.265 - 461.969 Dan Shepard

Yeah, it's cute, though. It looks like an ingrown hair.

461.989 - 479.408 Mackenzie

Yeah, it just looks like a teeny tiny bump. I'm not pregnant or nursing right now, so there's no swelling with it. But you could still just think it's like arm fat that everybody has. Yeah. I actually recently went back to the doctor and she was like, we can remove it. I was kind of worried about scarring because I'm like, is it worse to have a scar or to have a nipple?

479.489 - 492.221 Mackenzie

I mean, these are the deep, hard-hitting questions. I had a consult with a plastic surgeon, which turned into a whole thing. It was on the phone with them for 30 minutes. They didn't understand. I was like, just trying to get the extra nipples removed.

Chapter 6: What unexpected events occurred during the hospital visit?

492.241 - 496.925 Mackenzie

They were like, well, honey, how do you feel about your breasts right now? Oh, God.

0

497.005 - 498.387 Dan Shepard

Trying to upsell you a little bit?

0

498.407 - 500.75 Mackenzie

A hundred percent. I was It's like, well, I mean, I've nursed three babies.

0

500.79 - 505.758 Monica Padman

Who does feel good after that? The doctors in this story suck. Minus that one lady.

0

505.838 - 510.766 Mackenzie

Yes. She's like, I got you down for a fat transfer and we're going to remove. I'm like, no, no, no.

Chapter 7: How did the birth experience become a comical situation?

510.826 - 524.188 Mackenzie

I'm literally just trying to remove. I didn't want to make her feel bad because it's her job. And I'm like, well, duh, like everyone goes here to do this. So anyways, I will get the surgery at some point. Logistically, I need to find a time when I can actually do that because I have three young kids.

0

524.168 - 532.661 Dan Shepard

For the listener, I want to say, because my mind immediately went to, you also had two new areolas. That's not the case.

0

533.221 - 535.905 Mackenzie

No. It's a teeny, tiny bump.

0

535.925 - 537.448 Dan Shepard

And it's still all skin colored.

0

537.508 - 537.808 Mackenzie

Yeah.

Chapter 8: What challenges did the mother face during delivery?

537.828 - 540.893 Mackenzie

I told my sister, I was like, Dax is going to ask about areolas. I know it.

0

540.973 - 544.498 Dan Shepard

Well, I think when you hear nipple, you're associated immediately with an areola.

0

544.518 - 545.279 Mackenzie

You think of the whole thing.

0

545.299 - 546.761 Dan Shepard

The whole package. Super nuts.

0

547.022 - 551.188 Mackenzie

Maybe it's a cautionary tale. You too may have a nipple and not know it. I probably do.

551.168 - 559.178 Dan Shepard

Yeah, I mean, it looks like when I've had a clogged hair follicle in my armpit and then I wrench on that as if it's a normal pimple.

559.398 - 561.241 Monica Padman

It just looks like a little skin tag.

561.261 - 567.048 Dan Shepard

What did your husband have to say about it? I mean, that's great. He signed up for two boobs and he got four.

567.068 - 586.963 Mackenzie

Yeah, does he ever suck on it? You don't have to answer that. You don't have to answer that. Just laughing. I told him I have so many funny stories. I'm one of those people that just bizarre things happen to me. So I'll always be like, I've got a prompt. And then I told him I was like, oh, my gosh, I got selected for Armchair Anonymous. He's like, what story is it? I was like, it's the nipples.

Comments

There are no comments yet.

Please log in to write the first comment.