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Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Unexpected Orgasm II

14 Nov 2025

Transcription

Chapter 1: What unexpected experience does the guest share about their high school trip?

0.503 - 22.613 Monica Padman

Welcome. That should have been for Halloween. I never did. Okay, you can do it now. Welcome, welcome, welcome to Archer Anonymous. Today, backed by our popular demand, unexpected orgasm number two.

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22.778 - 23.48 Unknown

It's good.

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23.52 - 25.004 Monica Padman

These are great.

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25.024 - 28.774 Unknown

It's good. And I'm always, I will say I'm always a little apprehensive.

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28.934 - 30.458 Monica Padman

You're really nervous people are going to fib.

30.538 - 35.632 Unknown

Yeah, I am. I'm nervous about fibbers and my radar's on, but I don't believe any of these to be fibs.

35.993 - 51.238 Monica Padman

No. And in fact, one I'll add, We're having fun, fun, fun, fun. Three people are spraying all over the place. That's fun. And then another person, they're spray, spray, spray. And then, oh, it's not very fun.

51.258 - 53.02 Unknown

It's not fun. And we learned something.

53.361 - 74.058 Monica Padman

Yeah, it took a turn. Please enjoy Unexpected. And literally, I hope everyone gets to enjoy an unexpected orgasm. Wondery Plus subscribers can listen to Armchair Expert early and ad-free right now. Join Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Or you can listen for free wherever you get your podcasts.

Chapter 2: How does the guest describe their feelings leading up to the unexpected orgasm?

91.747 - 97.673 Unknown

Hello. Hello.

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98.277 - 105.968 Monica Padman

What a warm, comfy, inviting sweater you're in. Is it fall weather where you're at? It is. Nice and cozy. I'm not mad about it.

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106.489 - 107.25 Unknown

Where are you?

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107.711 - 111.316 Betsy

I am in British Columbia, friendly neighbor of the north.

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111.437 - 113.6 Monica Padman

Do you have a fake name that you've already picked out?

113.8 - 117.666 Betsy

I would love for you two to come up with one for me. Dreamed of this happening.

117.706 - 118.247 Monica Padman

Betsy.

118.527 - 119.268 Unknown

Okay.

119.288 - 125.137 Monica Padman

Yeah. Betsy's a very fun name for an unexpected orgasm. Like, oh, you know Betsy, right?

Chapter 3: What role does the environment play in the guest's unexpected orgasm experience?

150.071 - 150.612 Unknown

He loved it.

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150.852 - 151.774 Monica Padman

Yeah. Yeah.

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151.754 - 154.597 Unknown

These are good stories for husbands. They want that.

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154.677 - 160.103 Monica Padman

And it should be across the board because an orgasm is a gift. Nature gave us a couple gifts, and this is one of them.

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160.123 - 160.664 Unknown

I would agree.

160.684 - 163.507 Monica Padman

And if one smacks you out of nowhere, how exciting.

163.667 - 182.629 Betsy

Okay. Okay, let's hear it. Okay, I'll get right into it. So set the scene here. This story took place about 15 years ago. I was a senior in high school at the time. My family were very adventurous travelers, and we were going on kind of one of our last big family trips before I went off to university the next year. And we were going to India for a whole month.

182.949 - 185.373 Monica Padman

A month. They are adventurous.

185.794 - 205.086 Betsy

Yeah. My parents and younger brother had left a week before me. I had to stay behind to finish exams, which I wasn't mad about because being typical 17 year old home by myself for a week, I decided this is the time I'm going to throw a massive house party. This is the night I was going to lose my virginity to this boy that I had been seeing. Oh, wow.

Chapter 4: What humorous moments arise during the guest's story?

217.052 - 220.54 Monica Padman

It's coming. Frisky business. Oh, God.

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220.52 - 246.568 Betsy

So anyways, as you can imagine, night did not go according to plan. I got way too drunk to have sex. Ended up passing out. Did get some action. So I was happy about that. But no, not the full shebang. So sadly, woke up very much sober. Still a virgin and with a very trashed house. Okay, so all that to say, I was a very horny teenager. Sex was all I could think about at this point in time.

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246.748 - 258.728 Betsy

So the thought of spending three weeks in India sharing hotel rooms with my family meant no chance of funny business. And this was honestly devastating. I was pretty active in the self-entertainment department. Uh-huh.

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258.708 - 264.182 Monica Padman

Right. And if you don't mind my asking, we're talking daily. I just want to comp it to my activity as a teenager.

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264.322 - 265.706 Betsy

Probably daily at this point in time.

265.726 - 266.628 Monica Padman

Good for you.

266.648 - 282.337 Betsy

Yeah, that's great. Miss those days. Fast forward to the end of the trip. We're in India. The trip is going great. Having a fun time. But at this point, I'm feeling pretty pent up. My sex drive, all time high.

Chapter 5: How does the guest's family react to their unexpected experience?

282.617 - 290.106 Betsy

I've been messaging this boy back at home. I'm reading The Time Traveler's Wife, which turns out was a very steamy novel.

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290.386 - 291.928 Unknown

Isn't it like really sad?

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291.948 - 296.513 Monica Padman

You can like hardly be contained, Betsy. I love that you're about to explode on the family vacation.

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296.533 - 298.816 Unknown

I feel like that book is extremely sad.

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298.856 - 300.578 Monica Padman

Is it? And sexy?

300.558 - 302.201 Unknown

I don't remember the sexy part.

302.221 - 304.326 Monica Padman

Maybe her kink is like being really depressed.

304.346 - 313.344 Betsy

Oh, I understand. I don't know. I feel like I need to revisit this book because I also remember being very sad now as an adult. But I remember this book was getting me going.

313.364 - 314.647 Unknown

Anything would get you going.

Chapter 6: What medical condition does the guest discuss later in the episode?

351.396 - 353.598 Unknown

I have an idea. We don't want to spoil anything.

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353.618 - 357.382 Monica Padman

Yeah, we don't. I just wanted to know if you were trying to ratchet through options.

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357.402 - 358.143 Unknown

I have a thought.

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358.263 - 359.885 Monica Padman

Like, oh, someone brought a broomstick.

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360.205 - 361.647 Betsy

Oh, okay, there's a broomstick in the mix.

361.667 - 361.767

Okay.

363.687 - 383.732 Betsy

We're on this truck. We are the only white people on this truck surrounded by kind of a bunch of local families and young children. And I will say the whole time we were in India, everyone thought I was a Bollywood star. I don't know why. I had very dark, long hair at this time. I was getting pictures taken of me nonstop. All eyes were on me kind of at all times.

383.832 - 406.06 Betsy

So the families are looking at us kind of giggling, waving, taking some pictures. So I'm sitting between my dad and brother. My mom's off to the side of us. And we take off through this jungle, literally on the bumpiest dirt road possible. We are flying 50 miles per hour for sure. Like there's no way we were ever going to spot an actual tiger. It was pure chaos.

406.08 - 408.465 Monica Padman

Oh, he's just getting through. He maybe had prior engagement.

Chapter 7: What treatments are available for the condition mentioned by the guest?

425.633 - 447.07 Betsy

So we're laughing to ourselves, realizing we definitely booked the budget version of this tour and are probably not going to see any tigers. The guys are just chit-chatting away, not even looking into the jungle. Indians love to talk. So before we left... I had chugged a few tri-Ts because I was and am obsessed with them. Rookie mistake, didn't go pee before we got on this truck.

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447.391 - 464.607 Betsy

It's about this time that I realized I have to pee so insanely bad. My eyes are watering, like there's tears streaming down my face. And I've been clenching for the past 20 minutes or This truck is not slowing down. Like we're just flying, bumping like crazy. And the guides really don't speak much English. I'm super shy.

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464.628 - 482.244 Betsy

Like there's not a chance in hell I'm waving them down to be like, hey, can you stop the truck? Just let me get off. I'll just go pee on the side of the road. But I did know that we were eventually going to stop for a bathroom and snack break at the halfway point. So I'm just squeezing for dear life until then. And so we're continuing on, no stopping in sight, still flying.

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482.284 - 490.259 Betsy

Every bump is really unbearable. And I'm starting to feel that familiar tension building in the downstairs region.

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490.44 - 490.54

Yeah.

491.431 - 496.72 Monica Padman

So you recognize that it's like, wow, this is transferred into a mix of pain and a bit of pleasure.

497.041 - 506.357 Betsy

Yes. Combination of the bumps, full bladder, three weeks of not being able to release, apparently reading The Time Traveler's Wife, just being a very horny teenager.

506.398 - 508 Monica Padman

The thought of tigers maybe too.

508.08 - 517.026 Betsy

That's what I thought. I'm realizing what is about to happen and I feel like I have no control over the situation. Yeah. What?

Chapter 8: How does the guest feel about their experiences by the end of the episode?

517.046 - 524.556 Betsy

Wow. And so I don't know about you, Monica, but when I have a full bladder, I can have like insanely intense orgasms and very quickly.

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524.876 - 526.879 Monica Padman

Monica's never had a full bladder.

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527.2 - 530.124 Unknown

That is true. I don't drink enough water to have a full bladder.

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530.144 - 545.01 Betsy

Hack. I sometimes don't always pee before sex. I have heard this. This was where this whole tip started, but suddenly it hits. It's honestly, I think the strongest orgasm I've had ever. In my entire life. Oh.

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545.05 - 548.414 Monica Padman

Oh. Like to the point where you need to get vocal?

548.454 - 569.397 Betsy

Yeah. Yeah. I'm not one to orgasm subtly. I'm usually like very, very flushed. I have a hard time being quiet. So at this point, I'm just trying not to make eye contact with the families across from me who are staring at me, trying not to touch my brother or dad who are sitting very close to me. This goes on for at least 30 seconds.

569.377 - 571.602 Monica Padman

Wow. It's the orgasm of your life.

571.803 - 588.457 Betsy

It literally was. I'm still trying to reach that kind of high again. Do you think part of it is because it was bad? You're trying to not. I think so. The tension was just so high. I'm bright red. Like I can tell my face is on fire. I'm shaking like I'm vibrating.

588.477 - 589.519 Unknown

Sure, sure.

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