Chapter 1: What unexpected experience does the guest share about their high school trip?
Welcome. That should have been for Halloween. I never did. Okay, you can do it now. Welcome, welcome, welcome to Archer Anonymous. Today, backed by our popular demand, unexpected orgasm number two.
It's good.
These are great.
It's good. And I'm always, I will say I'm always a little apprehensive.
You're really nervous people are going to fib.
Yeah, I am. I'm nervous about fibbers and my radar's on, but I don't believe any of these to be fibs.
No. And in fact, one I'll add, We're having fun, fun, fun, fun. Three people are spraying all over the place. That's fun. And then another person, they're spray, spray, spray. And then, oh, it's not very fun.
It's not fun. And we learned something.
Yeah, it took a turn. Please enjoy Unexpected. And literally, I hope everyone gets to enjoy an unexpected orgasm. Wondery Plus subscribers can listen to Armchair Expert early and ad-free right now. Join Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Or you can listen for free wherever you get your podcasts.
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Chapter 2: How does the guest describe their feelings leading up to the unexpected orgasm?
Hello. Hello.
What a warm, comfy, inviting sweater you're in. Is it fall weather where you're at? It is. Nice and cozy. I'm not mad about it.
Where are you?
I am in British Columbia, friendly neighbor of the north.
Do you have a fake name that you've already picked out?
I would love for you two to come up with one for me. Dreamed of this happening.
Betsy.
Okay.
Yeah. Betsy's a very fun name for an unexpected orgasm. Like, oh, you know Betsy, right?
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Chapter 3: What role does the environment play in the guest's unexpected orgasm experience?
He loved it.
Yeah. Yeah.
These are good stories for husbands. They want that.
And it should be across the board because an orgasm is a gift. Nature gave us a couple gifts, and this is one of them.
I would agree.
And if one smacks you out of nowhere, how exciting.
Okay. Okay, let's hear it. Okay, I'll get right into it. So set the scene here. This story took place about 15 years ago. I was a senior in high school at the time. My family were very adventurous travelers, and we were going on kind of one of our last big family trips before I went off to university the next year. And we were going to India for a whole month.
A month. They are adventurous.
Yeah. My parents and younger brother had left a week before me. I had to stay behind to finish exams, which I wasn't mad about because being typical 17 year old home by myself for a week, I decided this is the time I'm going to throw a massive house party. This is the night I was going to lose my virginity to this boy that I had been seeing. Oh, wow.
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Chapter 4: What humorous moments arise during the guest's story?
It's coming. Frisky business. Oh, God.
So anyways, as you can imagine, night did not go according to plan. I got way too drunk to have sex. Ended up passing out. Did get some action. So I was happy about that. But no, not the full shebang. So sadly, woke up very much sober. Still a virgin and with a very trashed house. Okay, so all that to say, I was a very horny teenager. Sex was all I could think about at this point in time.
So the thought of spending three weeks in India sharing hotel rooms with my family meant no chance of funny business. And this was honestly devastating. I was pretty active in the self-entertainment department. Uh-huh.
Right. And if you don't mind my asking, we're talking daily. I just want to comp it to my activity as a teenager.
Probably daily at this point in time.
Good for you.
Yeah, that's great. Miss those days. Fast forward to the end of the trip. We're in India. The trip is going great. Having a fun time. But at this point, I'm feeling pretty pent up. My sex drive, all time high.
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Chapter 5: How does the guest's family react to their unexpected experience?
I've been messaging this boy back at home. I'm reading The Time Traveler's Wife, which turns out was a very steamy novel.
Isn't it like really sad?
You can like hardly be contained, Betsy. I love that you're about to explode on the family vacation.
I feel like that book is extremely sad.
Is it? And sexy?
I don't remember the sexy part.
Maybe her kink is like being really depressed.
Oh, I understand. I don't know. I feel like I need to revisit this book because I also remember being very sad now as an adult. But I remember this book was getting me going.
Anything would get you going.
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Chapter 6: What medical condition does the guest discuss later in the episode?
I have an idea. We don't want to spoil anything.
Yeah, we don't. I just wanted to know if you were trying to ratchet through options.
I have a thought.
Like, oh, someone brought a broomstick.
Oh, okay, there's a broomstick in the mix.
Okay.
We're on this truck. We are the only white people on this truck surrounded by kind of a bunch of local families and young children. And I will say the whole time we were in India, everyone thought I was a Bollywood star. I don't know why. I had very dark, long hair at this time. I was getting pictures taken of me nonstop. All eyes were on me kind of at all times.
So the families are looking at us kind of giggling, waving, taking some pictures. So I'm sitting between my dad and brother. My mom's off to the side of us. And we take off through this jungle, literally on the bumpiest dirt road possible. We are flying 50 miles per hour for sure. Like there's no way we were ever going to spot an actual tiger. It was pure chaos.
Oh, he's just getting through. He maybe had prior engagement.
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Chapter 7: What treatments are available for the condition mentioned by the guest?
So we're laughing to ourselves, realizing we definitely booked the budget version of this tour and are probably not going to see any tigers. The guys are just chit-chatting away, not even looking into the jungle. Indians love to talk. So before we left... I had chugged a few tri-Ts because I was and am obsessed with them. Rookie mistake, didn't go pee before we got on this truck.
It's about this time that I realized I have to pee so insanely bad. My eyes are watering, like there's tears streaming down my face. And I've been clenching for the past 20 minutes or This truck is not slowing down. Like we're just flying, bumping like crazy. And the guides really don't speak much English. I'm super shy.
Like there's not a chance in hell I'm waving them down to be like, hey, can you stop the truck? Just let me get off. I'll just go pee on the side of the road. But I did know that we were eventually going to stop for a bathroom and snack break at the halfway point. So I'm just squeezing for dear life until then. And so we're continuing on, no stopping in sight, still flying.
Every bump is really unbearable. And I'm starting to feel that familiar tension building in the downstairs region.
Yeah.
So you recognize that it's like, wow, this is transferred into a mix of pain and a bit of pleasure.
Yes. Combination of the bumps, full bladder, three weeks of not being able to release, apparently reading The Time Traveler's Wife, just being a very horny teenager.
The thought of tigers maybe too.
That's what I thought. I'm realizing what is about to happen and I feel like I have no control over the situation. Yeah. What?
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Chapter 8: How does the guest feel about their experiences by the end of the episode?
Wow. And so I don't know about you, Monica, but when I have a full bladder, I can have like insanely intense orgasms and very quickly.
Monica's never had a full bladder.
That is true. I don't drink enough water to have a full bladder.
Hack. I sometimes don't always pee before sex. I have heard this. This was where this whole tip started, but suddenly it hits. It's honestly, I think the strongest orgasm I've had ever. In my entire life. Oh.
Oh. Like to the point where you need to get vocal?
Yeah. Yeah. I'm not one to orgasm subtly. I'm usually like very, very flushed. I have a hard time being quiet. So at this point, I'm just trying not to make eye contact with the families across from me who are staring at me, trying not to touch my brother or dad who are sitting very close to me. This goes on for at least 30 seconds.
Wow. It's the orgasm of your life.
It literally was. I'm still trying to reach that kind of high again. Do you think part of it is because it was bad? You're trying to not. I think so. The tension was just so high. I'm bright red. Like I can tell my face is on fire. I'm shaking like I'm vibrating.
Sure, sure.
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