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Full Episode
Hey, everyone from Texas, Houston specifically, I need you to buy tickets for my show on, what is it, March 28th and 29th of this year. Go to HoustonImprov.com. Buy the tickets or I'm going to hurt myself. I'm going to hurt myself. I might die.
Who are these two idiots?
A white dude and an Asian dude. You two are disgusting. Oh, you two are something. We're bad friends.
Apparently you guys were talking a lot of shit when I wasn't here. That's what I heard. You don't know yourself? I heard you guys talking a lot of shit while I wasn't here. Not even here to defend myself, you guys are talking. It's interesting. Uh-huh. Because when people talk behind your back to me, I always defend you. I say, he's not here to defend himself. Don't say that stuff about him.
It's so funny because when I look in the mirror, I look at my character defects as well. So I know what my problems are. You don't know what your problems are?
I know what your problems are for sure. I know what yours are. But whenever people talk about you and I hear it and I catch wind of it, I grab it. Yeah.
I know where you store it, in your heart.
And I said, you talking about my dog, dude? And they go, oh, so sorry, man. And I defend.
I never talked about your dog. I mean, your wife. No, I'm kidding. That's crazy.
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