Chapter 1: What huge leap does our listener want to take with his friend?
Imagine an Olympics where doping is not only legal, but encouraged. It's the Enhanced Games. Some call it grotesque, others say it's unleashing human potential. Either way, the podcast Superhuman documented it all, embedded in the games and with the athletes for a full year.
Within probably 10 days, I put on 10 pounds. I was having trouble stopping the muscle growth.
Listen to Superhuman on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
On the Look Back At It podcast. 1979, that was a big moment for me. 84 was big to me. I'm Sam Jay. And I'm Alex English. Each episode, we pick a year, unpack what went down, and try to make sense of how we survived it. With our friends, fellow comedians, and favorite authors. Like Mark Lamont Hill on the 80s. 84 was a wild year. I don't think there's a more important year for black people.
Listen to Look Back At It on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. My mother-in-law spent years sabotaging our relationship until karma made her pay for it.
All right, Sophia, tell me about how we started this story.
She moved in for two weeks, lasted five days, left a mess, and then pressed her ear against their bedroom door and burst in screaming. When kicked out to a hotel, she called her son-in-law's workplace, pretending his partner had been rushed to the hospital by ambulance.
faked a medical emergency?
And spoiler, that was just the beginning. To find out how it ends, listen to the OK Storytime podcast on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
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Chapter 2: What are the risks associated with transitioning from friendship to romance?
Can you hurry up and you're like hold on a flurry with my mom? peach It sounds just as bad if you say, hold on, I'm being funny with my mom. The differences can be very subtle, a little tough to navigate. And that's where we can step in and help with a little textual healing.
The segment where we help a listener craft the perfect message to send to whoever they need for whatever unusual situation they find themselves in. We're hanging up if they say they need help with their mom.
Yeah.
Today, one of our listeners has reached out seeking some tender textual gratification with one of his love interests. Definitely not his mom. Sweet. At least I hope not. His name is Mike. Mike, welcome to the show. Hey, thanks, guys. Yeah, sorry about that weird start. Yeah, that was tough. We're going to get back on track for you here.
But we do have a mom on this show that could help give you advice if that makes you feel more comfortable. That'd be good. Yeah, a mom would be good.
Good. Nice.
See, Brooke, do you hear that? He's into moms. He's pro-mom. Keep going, Jeff. Keep going on the mom stuff or into the love interest stuff? No, into the love interest.
Who are we texting?
Yeah, let's talk about that. Who do you want help texting? I want help texting my friend Chloe. Oh, you say friends. So you guys, is this one of those things where you're ready to make the jump from friendship to something more with Chloe? Um, I mean, I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I love that nervous energy. How long have you and Chloe been quote unquote friends?
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Chapter 3: How can humor be used to break the ice in a text conversation?
So she's single now, though. Yeah. What happened? How did this come out so that, like, now is the right time to make your move? It just is the first time, I think, since I've ever known her that she's, like, 100% single. There's no situationship. There's no... there's no other person. And I'm just wondering if it's the right time to be vulnerable and see if she'd be open to something.
I just have no clue how to do that. Yeah.
Have you ever gotten any vibes or any friends have said anything? Yeah. That Chloe may feel the same about you. No one said anything, but it's just the thing I told you about the party. Like I have 10 more examples of that where it's just, There's no need for her to, like, be with me. Like, she could be with her literal boyfriend, and it seems like she'd rather be with me. Yeah, that's cute.
You know, I'm just a guy, but, like, I feel this attraction towards her, and I, like, this can't be one-sided. This can't be just me. Yeah. Okay. You gotta get a feeler out there to see if she likes you. Right. But I'm just wondering, where in this puzzle piece does your mom come in? Leave the mom out. There's no mother involvement whatsoever? No mom involvement.
Okay, well, that takes my area of expertise out of this. It's going to be more on Brooke now to come up with something good to send your love interest. I was going to say, where have you left your last text with her? Because I assume you guys are friends, so you text. I mean, are you at a friendship level where you text individually, or is it always group chats?
no no like we'll send each other funny videos and stuff or like little things yeah but how do you move the relationship now from a friendship into a potential romance that's what you're wondering to do via a text message so let's start brainstorming let's just break the ice with so you're single huh okay maybe not yeah alexis what do you have any ideas of what he should send Okay, moving on.
That was good. She said inside joke.
Oh.
That's vague, but that's all I got. Okay. If you guys send each other memes in videos, you may have an inside joke of something.
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Chapter 4: What strategies can help Mike express his feelings to Chloe?
But silly, playful. Like you would with your mom, yes. I think if we start by bringing up the fact that she's single right now, then it'll help us lead to... The mental.
Okay, go ahead.
We'll go towards that. Start typing, remind her that she's single. on a boyfriend. Wow, heard you dropped another from, I don't know, America's Top Model. What do you think about that, Mike? I mean, yeah, that could work. I would start typing. Hey, like heard you had to drop another beautiful model boyfriend. Another heartbroken gorgeous man out on the streets. Laugh emoji.
I'd ask if you're okay, but I know you're fine. Yeah, that's good. I'd ask if you're okay, but I know you're fine. Yeah, like you're also being a good friend. Heard you had to drop another beautiful model boyfriend. What was the next thing? I'd ask if you're okay, but I know you're probably fine. Yeah, and then an emoji.
Laugh emoji.
Laugh emoji, yeah. I'd ask if you were okay, but I know you're probably fine. Laugh emoji. Okay. Got it. Nice. And then she can write back something sarcastic about how the hot ones are not always the smart ones or something.
Yeah.
Or it causes a rift in your friendship because you accused her of being single. So we'll see how it goes. She dumped him, Jeff. Not all breakups are bad. Yeah. When they're beautiful model boy friends, I would think it hurts a little bit more. She's going through them, dude. So we've sent that.
We'll see if your friend Chloe responds when we come back and we do more textual healing, non-mom edition coming up. Why do you? It's not moms. We're doing it right after this. Hold on.
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Chapter 5: How does Mike feel about his chances with Chloe?
But she wrote back. What did she say? She said, yep, guess I need to go to the GQ store at the mall and find another. Another model boyfriend. She's got a good sense of humor. That's funny. That's pretty funny. What if you wrote back and said, but have you ever tried the boot barn? And that's where we go on to say that I'm the guy at the boot barn.
Do we have to go all the way to the basement from the models all the way down to like backwater? You ever been thrift shopping? Moving about the middle, the gap. Yeah. The rack, yeah. Yeah. Okay. The rack. Mike, hopefully you're not getting offended by any of this. No, no, no. All right. So, like, we're going with Booth Barn or the rack? No, wait. Don't, like, take us literally.
We're kind of kidding here. I wasn't. Oh, okay. I'm actually supporting Brooke's idea a little bit here because the humor's there. It's still a little flirty playful. Okay. And the insinuation is, look at me. Okay, this is what I think you should say. But have you ever tried shopping at the Boot Barn? I'm still with Boot Barn. I think it's funnier. You can do a little boot emoji.
Yeah, but whatever, the rack. Whatever low-class store you want to refer to yourself as, put that in, Mike.
She still kind of likes them.
Yeah, yeah, like make it a good one. I do like Boot Barn. So, okay. I'm going to say Boot Barn.
Oh, he likes Boot Barn.
The question is, do you think that she'll 100% understand the subtle messaging that he's trying to put out there?
Yeah, I got it.
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Chapter 6: What playful text message does Mike consider sending?
Yes. Or she's just going to go like get a wardrobe thing, like takes it too literally. We may need to then follow up immediately with saying that you're the option. Yeah.
Right.
Like that's where in question.
Yeah.
Because the joke will go on for too long. Like now we've been playful. I think next we need to be direct. Yeah, and hopefully she just gets it. And it's like, oh, really? Or just say, actually, I would love to take you out on a date. I mean, honestly. Guys, hold on. Hold on. She responded. She responded. Oh, OK. What'd she say?
I'm actually starting to realize the pretty ones aren't as pretty on the inside. Yeah. See? They're actually pretty boring. Eye roll. Yeah. More like a temporary cat toy. Play with them for a while until it gets old. Yeah. Oh, I like her.
No wonder you like her.
She's getting sick of the pretty boys, so she's looking for this. This is still just two friends talking, though. I mean, how do we get it to be a little more flirty? Yeah, I mean, I think this is part of the more direct line, right? Because she's getting more serious right now in this. In this text exchange. We can drop the humor now a little bit. So maybe just ask. You said drop the humor.
Maybe it's like, have you ever considered dating a friend?
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Chapter 7: What was Chloe's response to Mike's message?
Like something really funny about it. It's too late. Ever dated a friend? A mom? You get on one thing and we just can't let it go, can we, Jeff? It's like he's holding it in his back pocket. It's going to come through. Okay, boot lady. Jeez. Fine. Dude, that was clutch. I did right on that one.
It got us to here.
Oh, my God. Guys. What? She texted back. Oh, my God. Oh, my God's good or oh, my God bad? What did she say? Okay, she said, oh, so you want me to date down, wink face?
Oh.
She knows it's you. Date down? No, she doesn't know it's him. Why would she say that?
Well, the wink face, maybe.
Because he just joked about boot bars. Yes!
Oh, so she's kidding.
And she's flirting back. You don't send a wink emoji without being flirting. Okay, that's good. So you want me to date down wink? There's more. There's more? There's more. She said, I'd be lying if I said it hadn't crossed my mind. Oh! Oh my gosh! Wait, do we need clarification? I'm too excited. You're talking about me, right? So this is what you write back. You gotta check.
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Chapter 8: What advice do the hosts give Mike after Chloe's reply?
It has to be you. Does this mean I can take you to dinner this weekend?
There you go.
All right. Mike, please calm down. You are all over the place right now. All right. Does this mean I can take you to dinner this weekend? I'm scared. This is too bold. This could be super smooth for a train wreck. I'm excited. Your voice did crack when you say it. Are you sure you want to go through with this? Do it. She opened the door. I sent it. No turning back now. I'm so excited.
This is either going to make a whole new wonderful relationship or ruin the friendship forever. She sent a wink emoji. It has to be him. I send my mom wink emojis all the time. It doesn't mean anything. We're back here. Okay, Mike, I'm going to give you some instructions. First, lay on the ground. Oh. What? Close your eyes. What? What?
Yeah, don't do it.
We're just killing time until we get a message back. Close your eyes. Unzip. What are you doing? We don't know. I'm just trying to fill the empty space. It helps Jeff relax. Okay. Oh, my. Okay. Oh, he unzipped. Wait, why did you say, oh, man? No, he got a response, Jeff. I'm scared.
He checked it back.
He checked it back. He checked it back. What'd she say? What'd she say? She said, if you can keep your emotions in check, you can come over and spend the night. Whoa! Whoa! Wait a minute. Hey! What? This is good, right? She's obviously being sarcastic about his emotions because we've seen how emotional this guy is. Yeah, definitely. Mike, you're not spending the night.
You want a long-term relationship. You don't want to be a cat toy. Dude, they've been friends for six or seven years. You can spend the night.
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