#295 Jodi Silverman: Parenting, Purpose & the Dare to Begin Again — Part Two
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What are the common challenges faced by parents of adult children?
It's a midlife chapter and beyond because this is the only time in a parent's life, and I'll talk about moms because it's really the mom's life where her children are not the conduits to her meeting other mom friends, meaning there's no more clay practice, no more basketball, there's no more soccer moms, and that's where we tend to meet our mom friends. So it's Then learning how to connect and be a parent to adult children without hovering. Finding and discovering their purpose. What do they even want to do, need to do, like to do? Because they put that on the back burner. And then connection, friendship. Finding that community, the friendships. Those are the three. And what's great about all three of those, so the parenting one, I literally, I actually have a specific... And as far as parenting the adult children, Let me back up. One thing that can cover all three, that can help a mom navigate all three, the number one strategy is to shift your focus from them, where it has been for all these years, as a mom, as a full-time mom, back to you. Back to you.
How can parents reconnect with their adult children?
So permission to say, okay, I get to focus on me. I get to put myself at the top of the list now. and start to discover or rediscover or reconnect to those lost passions, those lost dreams. So shifting the focus onto you will help you not be, fill your time so you're not worried, constantly thinking about where are they, what are they doing? I'm going to text them. The cell phone, which I'm holding up right now, this is a great tool and a dangerous tool. Constantly connected. So if you have the ability to contact your child 24-7, that's not what this is for. So the first thing to do is to recognize that you get to put yourself first and you must put yourself first. It will help you with your relationship with your now adult child because you are now focused on yourself, giving yourself them a little distance. When you're focused on a new hobby, a new business venture, you can't be texting 24-7 to your children. And we don't want you to. And you become more interesting to your adult children. You have more conversation with them.
And yet, with that being said, the number one parenting shift we all must make, and it really does, you brought this earlier, Vince, about being 10, 11, 12, 13 years old. The sooner that we can do this, we should be doing this throughout all of our parenting. And I was not good at this until I discovered it, is going from the fixer to the coach with our children.
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Chapters
8 chapters
1
What are the common challenges faced by parents of adult children?
3:13–4:29
2
How can parents reconnect with their adult children?
4:29–7:56
3
What is the DARE Method for rediscovering yourself?
7:56
4
How can shifting focus to yourself improve your parenting?
5:11–9:14
5
What emotions do parents experience during the empty nest phase?
9:14–12:57
6
How do fathers experience the empty nest differently than mothers?
12:57
7
What strategies can help parents navigate their new roles?
7:26–8:20
8
How can parents begin to fill their time post-parenting?
8:20–24:38
Speakers
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