BS Disclaimers, Invisible Armies, and the Importance of the Words We Choose
episode
The Curiosity Shop with Brené Brown and Adam Grant
1h 6m
4 speakers
8 chapters
transcribed 4 months ago
Transcript
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Transcript generated automatically by AI and may contain errors.
What is the main topic discussed in this episode?
Welcome to The Curiosity Shop.
What is the 'Invisible Army' and how does it affect communication?
A show from the Fox Media Podcast Network.
Hi, everyone. I'm Brene Brown.
And I'm Adam Grant.
And today we're here to watch Adam be really generous to me. I don't want to be wrong on this topic today. I do not, I cannot be wrong on this topic today. I am very vested in my rightness.
Wow. Okay. So you're already appealing to my core values and asking me to violate other values.
You sort that shit out on your own, but I need to be right. You sort your value hierarchy over there. You do that over there. But we're going to talk about two insidious Machiavellian communication tools that people use that are my least favorite in the whole world.
I can't wait, but I should say a wise friend once told me it's more important to get it right than to be right.
Yeah, I call bullshit, but okay. So I think we all know this first one. It is, I'm guilty of doing it and I've been on the receiving end of it. And it's hard.
How do 'BS Disclaimers' undermine accountability?
I call it in my work, the invisible army. So in a work context, you're my boss and I come up to you and I say, hey, Adam, we're really exhausted. All of us are really tired of the way these priorities are shifting. We're really kind of sick of the pressure on us to do more with less and we need a break. What's your first instinct there?
I want to hear more.
Okay. Let me tell you my first instinct. Let's turn the scenario around. You come to me and say, we're all exhausted. We're tired. We're the constant reprioritization is killing us. We need a break. I'm going to want to look at you and say, you got a mouse in your pocket? Like, who's we? I cannot. This invisible army, we all think, we all believe, we're all wondering, right? Like, come to me with the eye. That's important enough.
What is the difference between responsibility and accountability?
But for me, the invisible army of the people that are backing up your, you know, and even in the personal world, listen, we're all really disappointed by this. Or, you know, we all think you should talk to dad about this.
This is so fascinating. This is exactly the kind of communication I teach.
You teach people to say we?
Absolutely.
How does judgment based on gender and identity impact communication?
It's I mean, it signals that you're not selfish, that you're thinking about the good of the group. And, you know, you're you're not raising something that's idiosyncratic. It's actually relevant to everyone.
It's chicken shit. I completely disagree. Unless you're willing to say to me, hey, Adam, do you have a second? I sat down and spoke with Sabrina, Jose, and Jack around what's going on. And we kind of came up with some ideas. They were not able to meet with you, but they said that I could talk to you about this.
What strategies can enhance psychological safety in conversations?
I mean... I think it's terrible. Like, I literally, like, unless you have a critter in your pocket, I don't ever want to hear your invisible army.
Okay, I do. I want to hear it all the time, but I don't want it to be invisible.
How can precision of language improve workplace dynamics?
So I think what you just outlined is ideal in an environment with high psychological safety.
What are the main takeaways from today’s episode?
That's the standard I'm aspiring to all the time. And anyone should be able to speak on behalf of the group, or ideally everyone is speaking independently for themselves. In environments that lack psychological safety, if you're in a culture of fear, if you're in a culture of blame and shame, it's really risky to put yourself out there. And so if I'm the one to come to you and say, hey, I've heard a lot of people complaining about this. Everyone else is afraid to tell you that for me, that's an act of courage, right? Because I'm the messenger and I might get shot. And it's so important that I'm willing to raise it anyway on behalf of the group.
You did not say we once in your role model here. Oh, I'm not role modeling it.
I'm explaining.
I'm just saying, you said, I'm coming to you because here's what I'm hearing. And I think other people are concerned about it. So I wanted to let you know. That is not the invisible army.
Isn't it though? No. Aren't they less visible?
No, no, no. That is, no. I think that's very different than you arming yourself with, we all believe, we all think. You're saying, I'm observing this. I wanted to let you know about my observation.
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Chapters
8 chapters
1
What is the main topic discussed in this episode?
0:00–0:01
2
What is the 'Invisible Army' and how does it affect communication?
0:01–1:20
3
How do 'BS Disclaimers' undermine accountability?
1:20–2:23
4
What is the difference between responsibility and accountability?
2:23–2:48
5
How does judgment based on gender and identity impact communication?
2:48–3:23
6
What strategies can enhance psychological safety in conversations?
3:23–3:40
7
How can precision of language improve workplace dynamics?
3:40–3:45
8
What are the main takeaways from today’s episode?
3:45–1:06:41
Speakers
4 identifiedMore from The Curiosity Shop with Brené Brown and Adam Grant
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Can Conflict Actually Make Our Relationships Stronger? with Priya Parker
What Chimpanzees Reveal About How We Connect and Divide with Aaron Sandel
Building Integrity in the Age of Normalized Cheating
Brené Brown on Protecting our Attention, Time, and Humanity in a World that Won’t Slow Down
Can We Build an “Us” Without a “Them”? with John Green