Faster or Slower?
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What is the theme of the 'Faster or Slower?' episode?
Good evening, gentle listener or watcher, and welcome to Distractible. This episode, ball-drooping Bob gives a righteous update, demystifies Mammon's machinations, then asks the fellas to factor fleetness. Woven Wade has a stroke for splashing cash, focuses on faeces, Armageddon, the fiscus, and follicles. Moderator Mark manifests industrialism and emissions, explains being sprayed, and bogus biopsies. From actively assenting to orifice exploration. Yes! It's time for Faster or Slower. Now sit back and prepare to be distracted and enjoy the show.
Hello and welcome to another agreeable episode of the Distractible Podcast, where we all nod in agreement, no matter what is being said. I am your host. My name is Bob. I am hosting because I won the last one. I won the last one by competing in it, which is what Mark and Wade, the other two guys here, will be doing. And then one of them will win and they'll host and then we'll all just keep nodding. The nodding is an important part of the show. We do this in every episode. 90% of everything we've ever put on the internet involves a lot of nodding.
The listeners never actually knew that this was occurring all the time. This is our first time acknowledging it.
We actually hold up signs that say, viewers, don't tell the stupid listeners about the nodding.
I feel like a pigeon pecking at seeds. Is anyone else going slowly blind?
It's doing something to my vision, yeah.
It is oddly uncomfortable, yeah.
It's making my eyes water. Is that good? Yeah, I don't know why that would be happening, but it sure is happening. It's... Can you get concussed from nodding?
Probably.
Yeah, you can.
Okay, good. I'll bet disagreeing feels better.
You know, they say if you smile, you know, you'll start to feel happy. I thought I would feel agreeable. Oh, God. if the audience if the listener had to guess which one of the two of them are doing something horrifying yep it was wade smiling man what do you mean oh i was glad it wasn't me because i was just confused and doing what i normally do someone please post that screenshot to the subreddit with no context just no everyone actually everyone spammed that picture so suddenly there's like a Oh, the mods are gonna love that. Ah, it's okay. I'm a mod. I approve.
Also, did I miss the green memo?
St. Patrick's Day. It's after St. Patrick's Day.
By a reasonable margin. Not only is it already not St. Patrick's Day, but this is definitely not St.
Patrick's Day. Look, my shirt application on a daily basis is in complete pitch darkness. So I never know what shirt I'm grabbing. I open my drawer. I fumble around till I grab something that and I'll pick up. No, I don't like this one. I'll put it back and then I'll get one that's agreeable.
You don't hang your shirts.
I hang some of them, but I don't know. You hang your T-shirts? Yeah. Why? What are they, fancy?
No. It's more convenient to grab. He is right. Less folding. I mean, you don't have to fold as much. You just put a hanger on it. Vertical storage is superior for clothing.
But you have to hang it.
That's faster than folding to me.
Look, this is maybe not a problem that you normal-sized humans have, but my shirt's... Literally, if I don't have the right kind of hangers, my t-shirts don't hang. They fall off. If I have like a slippery hanger, like just a smooth plastic hanger, my neck holes are so big that they barely even stay on. I'm enormous. Oh, mine just sit on a hanger. I'm like an elephant. I need special storage for my things.
I apologize for all the things you've smelled when we've hung out.
Elephants have a good sense of smell, right? We've talked about that.
Didn't you teach us they had the best?
That sounds like a thing I would say, yeah.
I'm not nodding anymore. I'm not nodding anymore. It really does mess with me.
Also, I do feel bad. I brought up Lexi in the episode that came out recently when we were recording that, and then it's later now. Lexi is okay. She did have cancer. She does have cancer. The surgery was successful. She seems to be healing up okay. We might need to do...
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