S4 Ep. 16 - 4 Hangry Men
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What is the granddad‑style justice system the crew creates for Oliver?
Dungeons and Daddies is a rowdy, horny, violent podcast for grown-ups. Content warnings can be found in the episode description.
oh my gosh yeah no definitely not the asshole
okay next one am i the asshole for threatening someone with death so i could live stream suspect so me and my three friends all male in our 60s 70s uh were in space trying to get a spaceship to get off of six moons and so we went to the ibs recruitment center run by a porcupine guy my friend dale called prickly and Edit, you wouldn't think it was racist if you were there. Bet I would. We lightly implied we could kill him and his loved ones if he didn't connect this to a higher-up, which he did. And then we livestreamed the IBS troops as they prepared to kill us all. But we didn't kill anyone. We just needed the IBS to give us a ship so we could go rescue my sweet, kind, talented grandson Oliver on Avia.
And we warned them about the nightcrawler drive so we're kind of the best people in the world and not assholes at all. Wait. Nightcrawler? Like X-Men? Oh, I love X-Men. I
want to fuck Professor X.
No, I want to fuck Professor X. So, if you judge us to be assholes or you say YTA in any way, you need to take a long, hard look in the mirror, buddy. Why are you even on this website? You should be helping us rescue my grandson. Fuck you, man. Anyways, am I the asshole? Okay, um, wow. And there are some edits. Edit. Downvotes? Really? Yeah. edit please do not look at my post history i do not know how to delete it oh so
Welcome to Dungeons and Daddies. What the
fuck is going on? What the fuck was that? Psyche, it's grandpas and galaxies this season, dawg.
What is
happening? It's
a grand
space popper about four gilfs. I don't feel safe. Safe space, my friend. To
take to the
stars to rescue their grandkids and perhaps the entire known universe in the process. It's a D&D with that dark matter. And perhaps smooch a cooch along the way. What? That's not a phrase.
Yeah, why
not? That's right. It's a
t-shirt. Do you say smooch and cooch? No, smooch and
cooch.
Okay. That makes more sense than smooch and
cooch. Hey, it could
happen. Hey, hey, hey.
Anything can happen when you're in a wild
west.
Do
you
think grandpas aren't down there licking envelopes, man? Yeah, I'm
a return to center. My name is Freddie Wong. My
name is Freddie Wong. I play Ashley Burch. Ashley with an E. Burch like the tree. Born in 64. That makes Ashley Burch the youngest boomer alive. He's a twin galaxy. He's an arcade pro gamer turned Twitch streamer. We've
had a lot
of
ships. What ship? I like to ship Ashley and her personally.
Okay.
What's their ship name, Matt? It's
Hershley. Hershley. Hershley Kiss. Hershley
Kiss.
Wow. Ashley's fact, this grandpa fact.
He's dating her. You heard it here first. We've had a lot of
spaceships that we've been traversing and transporting.
We're
like John Wick with those guns with those spaceships.
I know, we keep changing them
up. Lesser D&D podcasts where you get in one and be like, wow, that's your ship for the season, not this one. We could care less about spaceships.
We really want that one back, though.
This
is the best one. This has all your favorite characters. However, Ashley loves spaceships, and he's been disappointed because none of them have come close to the crown in his eye, the Idris P, the Peacekeeper. This is a civilian. You were in a
ship that sucked your dick
and you're
wishing that it was a different ship. That was more of the carpet too. That's
just
a carpet batch. The drapes.
Have
we talked about the fact that our producer keeps begging us to actually do facts about the Fermi paradox, the game in that there's ostensibly play, but you just keep doing star
citizen
stuff. Cause Ash is a star citizen streamer, dude. He loves the Fermi paradox. Ideally. Well, yes, he does. But
not as much as he loves the game. If anyone's ever wondered if we've ever sold out, just know that our producer keeps asking us to do Fermi Paradox because that's an our idea thing that we could sell. And we go, no, we are artists. And I won't talk about Star Citizen.
Ashley Burch is what we call pot committed.
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Chapters
8 chapters
1
What is the granddad‑style justice system the crew creates for Oliver?
0:00–11:48
2
How do the characters decide whether to give Oliver a memory wipe or a harsher punishment?
11:48–21:49
3
Why do the grandfathers give each other gifts and tattoos before the trial?
21:49–32:41
4
What role does the mysterious bird‑like judge Scrimbles play in the courtroom scene?
32:41–41:26
5
How does the party handle the ethical dilemma of removing short‑term memory?
41:26–51:17
6
What clues reveal the true identity of the defendant in the diving‑suit suit?
51:17–1:00:59
7
How do the grandfathers plan to retrieve their ship and stop the Spark after the trial?
1:00:59–1:09:26
8
What are the final outcomes for Oliver and the grandfathers after the memory‑wipe verdict?
1:09:26–1:22:40