S4 Ep. 16 - 4 Hangry Men

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Dungeons and Daddies 1h 22m 5 speakers 8 chapters transcribed 12 days ago
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What is the granddad‑style justice system the crew creates for Oliver?

Anthony Burch 0:00
Dungeons and Daddies is a rowdy, horny, violent podcast for grown-ups. Content warnings can be found in the episode description.
Unknown 0:06
oh my gosh yeah no definitely not the asshole
Beth May 0:12
okay next one am i the asshole for threatening someone with death so i could live stream suspect so me and my three friends all male in our 60s 70s uh were in space trying to get a spaceship to get off of six moons and so we went to the ibs recruitment center run by a porcupine guy my friend dale called prickly and Edit, you wouldn't think it was racist if you were there. Bet I would. We lightly implied we could kill him and his loved ones if he didn't connect this to a higher-up, which he did. And then we livestreamed the IBS troops as they prepared to kill us all. But we didn't kill anyone. We just needed the IBS to give us a ship so we could go rescue my sweet, kind, talented grandson Oliver on Avia.
Beth May 0:56
And we warned them about the nightcrawler drive so we're kind of the best people in the world and not assholes at all. Wait. Nightcrawler? Like X-Men? Oh, I love X-Men. I
Unknown 1:06
want to fuck Professor X.
Beth May 1:07
No, I want to fuck Professor X. So, if you judge us to be assholes or you say YTA in any way, you need to take a long, hard look in the mirror, buddy. Why are you even on this website? You should be helping us rescue my grandson. Fuck you, man. Anyways, am I the asshole? Okay, um, wow. And there are some edits. Edit. Downvotes? Really? Yeah. edit please do not look at my post history i do not know how to delete it oh so
Unknown 2:12
Welcome to Dungeons and Daddies. What the
Freddie Wong 2:18
fuck is going on? What the fuck was that? Psyche, it's grandpas and galaxies this season, dawg.
Unknown 2:25
What is
Freddie Wong 2:26
happening? It's
Unknown 2:26
a grand
Freddie Wong 2:27
space popper about four gilfs. I don't feel safe. Safe space, my friend. To
Bruno Satin 2:35
take to the
Freddie Wong 2:36
stars to rescue their grandkids and perhaps the entire known universe in the process. It's a D&D with that dark matter. And perhaps smooch a cooch along the way. What? That's not a phrase.
Beth May 2:52
Yeah, why
Freddie Wong 2:53
not? That's right. It's a
Beth May 2:53
t-shirt. Do you say smooch and cooch? No, smooch and
Freddie Wong 2:56
cooch.
Beth May 2:57
Okay. That makes more sense than smooch and
Freddie Wong 3:01
cooch. Hey, it could
Unknown 3:03
happen. Hey, hey, hey.
Freddie Wong 3:05
Anything can happen when you're in a wild
Unknown 3:07
west.
Freddie Wong 3:08
Do
Unknown 3:08
you
Freddie Wong 3:08
think grandpas aren't down there licking envelopes, man? Yeah, I'm
Beth May 3:15
a return to center. My name is Freddie Wong. My
Freddie Wong 3:18
name is Freddie Wong. I play Ashley Burch. Ashley with an E. Burch like the tree. Born in 64. That makes Ashley Burch the youngest boomer alive. He's a twin galaxy. He's an arcade pro gamer turned Twitch streamer. We've
Matt Arnold 3:31
had a lot
Freddie Wong 3:31
of
Matt Arnold 3:33
ships. What ship? I like to ship Ashley and her personally.
Bruno Satin 3:38
Okay.
Matt Arnold 3:40
What's their ship name, Matt? It's
Freddie Wong 3:43
Hershley. Hershley. Hershley Kiss. Hershley
Unknown 3:47
Kiss.
Freddie Wong 3:47
Wow. Ashley's fact, this grandpa fact.
Unknown 3:52
He's dating her. You heard it here first. We've had a lot of
Freddie Wong 3:56
spaceships that we've been traversing and transporting.
Unknown 3:58
We're
Freddie Wong 3:59
like John Wick with those guns with those spaceships.
Unknown 4:01
I know, we keep changing them
Freddie Wong 4:02
up. Lesser D&D podcasts where you get in one and be like, wow, that's your ship for the season, not this one. We could care less about spaceships.
Beth May 4:09
We really want that one back, though.
Anthony Burch 4:11
This
Freddie Wong 4:11
is the best one. This has all your favorite characters. However, Ashley loves spaceships, and he's been disappointed because none of them have come close to the crown in his eye, the Idris P, the Peacekeeper. This is a civilian. You were in a
Anthony Burch 4:24
ship that sucked your dick
Freddie Wong 4:26
and you're
Anthony Burch 4:27
wishing that it was a different ship. That was more of the carpet too. That's
Freddie Wong 4:30
just
Anthony Burch 4:30
a carpet batch. The drapes.
Bruno Satin 4:35
Have
Freddie Wong 4:37
we talked about the fact that our producer keeps begging us to actually do facts about the Fermi paradox, the game in that there's ostensibly play, but you just keep doing star
Matt Arnold 4:45
citizen
Freddie Wong 4:45
stuff. Cause Ash is a star citizen streamer, dude. He loves the Fermi paradox. Ideally. Well, yes, he does. But
Matt Arnold 4:52
not as much as he loves the game. If anyone's ever wondered if we've ever sold out, just know that our producer keeps asking us to do Fermi Paradox because that's an our idea thing that we could sell. And we go, no, we are artists. And I won't talk about Star Citizen.
Freddie Wong 5:05
Ashley Burch is what we call pot committed.

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