S4 Ep. 17 - Holes (I’m Tired of This, Grandpa)

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Dungeons and Daddies 1h 3m 4 speakers 8 chapters transcribed 12 hours ago
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What is the premise of the “Grandpas and Galaxies” season and who are the main characters?

Beth May 0:00
Dungeons and Daddies is a rowdy, horny, violent podcast for grown-ups. Content warnings can be found in the episode description.
Freddie Wong 0:08
In the avia justice system, criminals are judged by two separate yet equally important groups. Bird juries who judge bird crimes and non-bird juries who deliberate on cases involving non-bird offenders. These are their stories.
Unknown 0:25
Cheep, cheep, cheep, cheep, cheep. Cheep, cheep, cheep, cheep, cheep. Bawk, bawk, bawk, bawk, bawk, bawk. Cheep, cheep, cheep, cheep, cheep.
Unknown 0:49
Cheep, cheep, cheep, cheep, cheep. Cheep, cheep, cheep, cheep, cheep. Cheep, cheep. Cheep, cheep, cheep, cheep, cheep.
We'll be right back.
Freddie Wong 1:42
Welcome to Dungeons and Daddies, or actually, it's Grandpas and Galaxies this season.
Beth May 1:48
Are you okay, Beth?
Freddie Wong 1:50
You
Bruno Satin 1:50
got
Freddie Wong 1:50
something
Beth May 1:50
to say? You want to do this instead? You want to fucking do this? What's the
Freddie Wong 1:52
energy, Beth? What's going on, Beth? Don't talk to my podcast that
Beth May 1:55
way. What's going on, Beth? I'm sorry. Why are
Freddie Wong 1:57
you coming in with this kind of energy?
Beth May 1:58
It was a voice I hadn't really familiarized and prepared myself for, but now I have, and I'm ready to continue. Well, get ready,
Freddie Wong 2:05
because it's all zany voices now. It's zany voices week here
Unknown 2:08
at Dungeons &
Freddie Wong 2:08
Daddies.
Beth May 2:09
Oh, that's so fun. We should do zany weeks. It's only zany
Freddie Wong 2:10
voices. That's right, everyone. Can next week be like ugly sweater week?
Beth May 2:14
Oh, my God, yes.
Freddie Wong 2:15
Yes.
Beth May 2:16
I wear ugly sweaters at 365.
Freddie Wong 2:20
Everyone's just like scratching themselves and stuff, dude. We said ugly,
Bruno Satin 2:23
not
Freddie Wong 2:23
uncomfortable.
Beth May 2:24
They're ugly and uncomfortable. It's so ugly that it's uncomfortable to wear.
Freddie Wong 2:28
Grandpas and Galaxies is a grand space popper about four gilfs who take to the stars to rescue their grandkids, three of them, and perhaps the entire known universe in the process. D&D and the Dark Matter System. My name is Freddie Wong. I play Ashley Burch. Ashley with an E. Burch like the tree. Born in 64. That makes him the youngest boomer. His day job, a Twin Galaxies era gadgeteer, arcade pro gamer turned Twitch streamer. His night job, also Twitch streamer. You got to be streaming all the time. This week's Ashley fact, I thought of this one from a dream. Wow. Okay. He's naked. Oh, no.
Unknown 3:06
Everyone has called dim sum Chinese tapas. Ashley prefers
Freddie Wong 3:11
to call it ordering a
Beth May 3:13
la carte.
Freddie Wong 3:14
That's pretty
Beth May 3:15
good. Okay. Okay. I'm going to be brave. I don't get the a la carte joke. Could you explain it to me? It's a
Freddie Wong 3:21
cart. There's a cart.
Beth May 3:23
At a
Freddie Wong 3:24
dim sum place. At a dim sum place.
Beth May 3:26
Now it's all. Yeah, I feel like I just took the limitless pill.
Freddie Wong 3:29
But Ashley's favorite method of eating is eating at a steakhouse. Especially
Bruno Satin 3:35
in the old school. Here's why. Wait,
Freddie Wong 3:37
wait, wait. Freddie just started another fact.
Bruno Satin 3:44
If I
Freddie Wong 3:44
don't continue, how long do you think Freddie would just keep saying facts about... I'm
Bruno Satin 3:49
not going to
Freddie Wong 3:50
say anything until he's done. Steakhouse, you ready? He orders sides, but everyone shares them. He has steakhouse in his order. You get your
Anthony Burch 3:58
thing, right? The best kind
Freddie Wong 4:00
of Freddy joke
Anthony Burch 4:01
where it's all about his personal lived experience that has to be explained to the
Unknown 4:04
masses. But then you're like, what do you mean I have to get extra sides and everyone's got to share
Freddie Wong 4:08
them? I want my side. Dig in on these button mushrooms, guys. I mean,
Unknown 4:11
they're like, what the fuck is this?
Freddie Wong 4:12
And then they bring them out and it's just like, here's a... Small plate of broccolini we're all going to poke. I'm like, this is terrible. Freddie, not only did you just add a second fact. Oh, is that a problem, Will? You're
Unknown 4:22
giving
Freddie Wong 4:22
people
Bruno Satin 4:22
value for the
Freddie Wong 4:23
money? I'm not done. Not only did you add a second fact that is clearly just a you fact, but then you're like, Ashley likes it, and then your fact was you complaining about why it's bad. That's why I'm not Ashley.
Bruno Satin 4:35
I'm playing a
Freddie Wong 4:36
character. Will, that's
Unknown 4:38
why.
Freddie Wong 4:38
It's called acting,
Unknown 4:39
Will.
Freddie Wong 4:39
You ever heard
Unknown 4:40
of it? Hey,
Freddie Wong 4:41
I
Bruno Satin 4:41
hate to break it, but did you know
Freddie Wong 4:42
that Leonardo DiCaprio didn't defraud
Bruno Satin 4:45
people
Freddie Wong 4:45
out of money in Wolf of Wall Street? He's actually playing a character, Will. He also wasn't even on the Titanic. Freddie, I'm sorry. He didn't even say it. You're right. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. It was really funny. Hey, everybody. I'm Matthew Arnold. I play Dale Elliott, the world crew's loving ex-lifeguard living his best monk life.

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