Horse Babies and the World Cup

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Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade 56 min 4 speakers 8 chapters transcribed 2 months ago
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What are the surprising facts about horse births?

Dana Carvey 0:00
My wife goes, they're eating the afterbirth. Well, who doesn't eat the afterbirth? Who would pass it up? If you're a bird, that's like... My hair right now, I'm the co-star to my hair. It's just too much hair for my tiny face. I need to take it down.
David Spade 0:18
If you put more product and grew it five more inches, you could be the bassist for like REO Speedwagoners. Blue Oyster Cult.
I'm going to burn your dick off.
David Spade 0:27
Remember that part where he had him spread eagle and he just had a laser? Good finger. What do you want me to do? I want you to die, Mr. Bond. I want you to die. Sounded like Lovitz.

How does Dana's new hairstyle become a topic of discussion?

Dana Carvey 0:40
Hey, I didn't mean no harm, Davey. Come on. Come on. I'm your daddy.
I'm entitled to a little bit of sugar.
Dana Carvey 0:51
You look like you're about to get interrogated by somebody.
David Spade 0:57
I feel like I look like I'm in black and white.
Dana Carvey 1:00
Right, there is a little bit of Felix the Cat in you, you know?
David Spade 1:03
You look warm and cozy. I thought I looked great today, then I... What we'll tell the millions of fans is that I'm moving.
Dana Carvey 1:13
Let's come clean right now.
David Spade 1:14
Right. Everyone's freaking out. The message boards are lighting up.

What is the significance of the World Cup in the conversation?

David Spade 1:21
We'll go to the phones in a minute. But the story is I am moving and I am in my new place, which I haven't moved in yet, but because of the timing of these podcasts and the high, high demand, is that we had to get one done today, and so we just moved this over to the new place. And it's so much more complicated. Even though it looks like we don't give a fat fuck about this, we put millions of hours, man hours into this. You're over there stacking five of our energy boxes. That's half your day.
Dana Carvey 2:02
Can you guess what's behind me in the hallway?
David Spade 2:04
Are those the Beatles songs?
Dana Carvey 2:08
That is Meet the Beatles, capital record, signed by all four Beatles.
David Spade 2:13
That's a rarity. That's really hard to get. I'm prepared to hand you $5,000 for those.
Dana Carvey 2:25
I know because you're a bit of a nosehound for John Lennon's glasses or Elvis's belt. I like that stuff too.

How do Dana and David humorously discuss parenting and family?

Dana Carvey 2:36
I think it's cool.
David Spade 2:37
I got a good Marilyn Monroe thing too, but nosehound is what they called me in college when I was around the cocaína.
I can't imagine you with Coca-Cola.
David Spade 2:48
I would do the most microscopic bump, and I'm like, ya-da-da.
Dana Carvey 2:53
Can I ask you a question about this new room you're in?
David Spade 2:56
Yeah, it's not working. Does it have a window? No, I know what you're going to say.
Dana Carvey 3:04
No, no, you know what we're going to say?
David Spade 3:08
Just stare at the window. This is the best lighting, which it is, but my fragile eyes and retinas and irises can't handle it.
Dana Carvey 3:14
What you do is you have drapes and you can narrow it and then you have this sort of, it's got little tiny holes that like it's sheen. It's almost like a plastic sheet. It diffuses the light. You'll see.

What funny anecdotes are shared about celebrity encounters?

David Spade 3:32
Do you think my left side of my billboard forehead is too bright, Heather? Should I put that one down a little bit?
Dana Carvey 3:40
Well, why is flying the wall in black and white and you're in black and white?
David Spade 3:44
I don't know.
Dana Carvey 3:45
Because we're new and we... I wish that five-hour energy was somehow in black and white because I feel like I'm watching an old movie.
David Spade 3:53
No, I don't think I can do that. Just that one down a little bit. I'm just trying to get some color in me because it's so... Yeah, just turn it off. That's fine. I mean, it's really no-win situation. Everyone's bored to fucking tears, but Moving is a pain, but Heather and Evan came over here yesterday. And really, it's so much crap to put cameras and lighting and all these wires.
Dana Carvey 4:18
In a perfect world, this is like just a test.
David Spade 4:20
We messed up something on the camera with the color, but we'll fix it.

What are the humorous takes on moving and homeownership?

David Spade 4:25
So anyway, let's get right down to brass tacks. Let's get down to the whole nitty gritty. I have stuff to talk about, but you want to start. I know what you want to start with.
Dana Carvey 4:32
Well, we basically, you know, I live on a farm and our caretaker put his two horses in our front pasture and they're our friends and everything. We feed them carrots, la-da-da. And one of them is pregnant and then we didn't know what was going to happen. So I was up with knee-long pain. playing the woodland park outdoor event yeah and that was this it was the crowd was great but it's a 40 foot high stage um there's no screens and they're just like it's like woodstock they're just out there i i had i had some relatives coming and they were probably 150 yards from me and they and they they said yeah we thought we thought it was real funny

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