DR BILLY GARVEY: Raising Boys, Masculinity, and Ending the Cycle of Violence
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How did Dr Billy Garvey become a developmental paediatrician?
It's a lot is recorded on Gadigal Land. We pay our respects to the traditional custodians of this land and to elders past and present. We also would love to extend our respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Rhode Islander people listening today and remind you all that sovereignty was never ceded and it always was and always will be Aboriginal land.
It's
a lot, isn't it? Everyone, I'm so excited for this conversation. Unfortunately, we have already been speaking for half an hour. Beautiful producer Amy has been like, Let's let's start recording. Let's start recording. I have the incredible Doctor Billy Garvey here. Hello, Doctor Billy Garvey. Hi, Abby. Now do I call you Bill? Do I
Billy. I don't like Doctor. I don't like the surname. Really? Yeah. Kids kids gave that to me like Twenty six years ago, where that was the nickname that they came up with for me. And I'm like, that's who actually matters what the kids think about me. So yeah, the kids I'm eating clinic now. Um so it's just Billy. Anyone who calls me anything else, I'm like, I'm just Billy.
Okay, well, sorry. All right, sorry for the for the wrong intro then, Billy. Um, you've written an amazing book um called Ten Things I Wish You Knew About Raising Boys. It's your second book. And you are a developmental pediatrician. Is that the right title? Yes. Thank you so much. Well done. I often hear these words and I go, That sounds really impressive. I'm sure I'll forget it, you know?
Yeah, I mean I don't like the title stuff 'cause it's, you know, that hierarchy authority, like I'm no more important than anyone else, but it's more that what it means that I've spent a lot of time training in and training others in and supporting kids. There's not many of us, but essentially a kid's developmental and mental health doctor. Yeah. So that's kind of what I am. There's not many of us in the country. I was gonna
ask, what does it actually entail? Because there would be such a wide range of things that you see.
Yeah, well I don't look after kids with like coughs or colds or infections or anything like that or asthma or allergies. I look after kids like from we run an unsettled babies clinic, little babies that are having a hard time in the first few months of their life, and then we look after kids who might be neurodivergent, going through that. A lot of mental health, a lot of anxiety and depression and suicidality and everything in the spectrum too, you know, and the book goes through the spectrum of like you know, young men entering their adult life and I get the privilege of like helping them to feel better about themselves and to succeed more in their relationships. So it's amazing. Like I still can't
So much of it is healing for me too, because I often talk about how in clinic I'm looking for little Billy, you know, like and I can't go back in time for me and my mum and stuff like that, but I I can feel like I'm a good person because I get to meet these kids and help in a small way. And it's just like, yeah, it is just so phenomenal. The hardest thing for me is that I find it really hard because it's this selfish pursuit. And I also have three little kids who are just gorgeous. I've got a little tiny five year old who's like just a minimum with a mop of hair exactly the same, a sensitive temperament who's wild and flies off the handle.
Sounds great. Like a fun household.
Yeah, yeah. It's not clean. There's there's not enough fruit and vegetables being eaten. Screens get used a lot. Yeah. But it's fun.
Well, could you tell us a bit about your childhood and and looking after little Billy in your in your work?
Yeah. So yeah, I grew up in Frankston. Like my mum was really young. Uh she had my older brother and he never met his dad. And my mum came over from Ireland, like something bad went down over there, um, that we've never really understood and she just kind of fled and landed in Australia pregnant without a partner, uh, in Melbourne. And she was like a fierce woman. um, like a strong feminist. Um and she then met my dad years later and had me and my little bro and then um yeah, she just when they separated, she kind of worked three jobs.
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Chapters
8 chapters
1
How did Dr Billy Garvey become a developmental paediatrician?
0:00–6:39
2
Why did Billy Garvey write a book about raising boys, and how can rigid masculinity cause harm?
6:39–16:15
3
How can parents model emotional vulnerability and create safe spaces for boys?
16:15–34:42
4
How do temperament, attachment, and unmet emotional needs shape boys’ behaviour?
34:42–48:16
5
How can community support protect boys and help them feel they belong?
48:16–1:02:15
6
How can parents protect boys from the manosphere and harmful online content?
1:02:15–1:14:17
7
How can adults connect with boys drawn to the manosphere?
1:14:17–1:19:04
8
Why do connection, clear boundaries, and consequences work better than punishment?
1:19:04–1:26:51
Speakers
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