Chapter 1: What is the main topic discussed in this episode?
Ready? One, two, three. Patriots, gay-triots, they-triots, black-triots, brown-triots, we love you, and all of the triple-trumping fascists can do what? Fuck off! All right, Pumps, what have you had it with?
Okay, what I've had it with and it just, I find it so offensive in every way is when you go into a restroom at a public place and you sit down and the last person there used the last of the toilet paper and made no moves. to restock it for the next person. So this just happened to me.
I sit down at the vet's office waiting on my dog, getting an x-ray and I sit down to pee and there is no toilet paper. I've already peed at this point. Okay. So I'm sitting there. I have no, I have nothing I can do. So I shake, shake, shake. And then I, there's a cabinet, but I have to get up off the toilet, waddle over there with my pants down, grab the toilet paper and wipe.
And here's the thing. I expect this kind of rude ass shit at my house from my kids. They have done that to me for years until my head spun off and, and now they're better about it.
Chapter 2: What toilet paper etiquette is discussed in public restrooms?
But
I have gone into so many bathrooms and found that I was the last person to use the toilet paper. I have either restocked or told the person at the front, we need more toilet paper in the bathroom. And I just think it's rude and I've had it. And I don't know if it's personal to me, but this is the second time this has happened to me at the vet's office.
Oh, wait. You just said you didn't know if this was personal to you as though there is a conspiracy at the vet office. She's coming in again. Let's remove the toilet paper from the bathroom. I can't rule it out, Jennifer. I mean, I, you know what, here's the thing, you know, you see Candace Owens and all these people with all these crazy conspiracy theories.
And now I see like, is this coping mechanism to get through all this fascism and war crimes? Like, cause it's kind of fun, right? It's kind of like, you know, it's kind of like, here's this crazy conspiracy theory and you go down this rabbit hole as a means to avoid reality. And so I I'm with you. I think the veterinarian office is trying to fuck you over.
And make sure trying to prevent you from vaginal hygiene, which I know you value. I value. Yes. And I would say that not only is this a problem, the toilet paper issue, just the general fuckery of people in public restrooms. Leave the stall the way you would like to receive it. If you accidentally drop a little square of toilet paper on the floor, go ahead and pick it up.
Stick it in the toilet when you flush it down. Make sure you flush it down.
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Chapter 3: How do the hosts criticize public restroom cleanliness?
If you're a hoverer and not a – like I hover. I do a squat and then do a five, six, seven, eight. As I pee, it's like two birds, one stone, right? I'm getting a great glute quad workout. I'm not getting germs on my ass. But sometimes I have a little – splatter on the seat. After I wipe, then I get the toilet paper and I wipe down the entire seat so the next person can come in.
And time and time again, I am cleaning up. There's shit on the floor, toilet paper on the floor, some sort of trash on the floor. I'm like, well, if this person isn't going to do it, at least I'm going to have to do it. I'm going to take it over the finish line. Another thing that I've started doing as well that really irritates me
When you wash your hands in a commercial restroom, the water pressure is very strong, which I appreciate because you want to blast off the germs. But there's a lot of splatter on the countertop. Yes. So I propose if you're in a restroom...
that has paper towels not just the hand dryers go ahead and dry your hands and then get a couple additional paper towels go back to your sink wipe down the station because the next person coming up might want to put their purse down and they don't want to put it down in all of this water these are things that if we didn't have um
a dipshit as president, we could really go to Congress and say, these are some suggestions that we have to make this country more peaceful and workable. But I also want to say this, something in your genre of grievance today. I've had it with the paper towel dispensers that are censored. And it's like you're trying to find the right spot to get it to come out.
And then finally it comes out and it's about six inches.
Right.
Six inches. It's not enough. It needs to be, I would say a solid 12 inch, you know, paper towel that comes out because you can do it, but I'm having to get like three different times. Yeah. It's a real problem.
And have you had that when you're trying to do the sensor and they kind of have, there's a waiting period. Yeah. Like you have, and I'm just like, are you fucking kidding me? I'm trying to wipe my hands. It's not that hard. And here's the deal. I think people are so fundamentally rude that they don't give a shit.
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Chapter 4: What are the hosts' thoughts on conspiracy theories and coping mechanisms?
What must have been the caller ID? And he's like, hey, I have this question. I need help with this, this, this. And she goes, let me get on that. I'll call you right back in 10 minutes. So he's sitting there with a client. He's like, she's never going to call me back. I'm going to hunt her down in a couple of days. She calls back in 10 minutes and has an answer for him.
And then as they go through all of whatever this legal matter was, at the end of it, the lady says, tell Jen and Pumps, I love them. And this was Faith at the Chickasaw tribe prosecutor's office in Oklahoma. And they listened to our podcast. So I want to give a big shout out to Faith and to everybody at the Chickasaw tribe for listening to I've Had It. I just thought that was really cool.
I think it's really cool. And I mean, I'm just amazed having worked with Josh before and calling DA's office and calling prosecutors and municipal, like to call back with an answer within 10 minutes is truly remarkable.
That's what he said. But here's the thing that I have to say, you know, you and I have always been incompetent as a default setting. The popularity of a podcast is giving us well undeserved clout so much so that by proxy, Josh is receiving, you know, return phone calls within 10 minutes with answers and enthusiasm.
Just by proxy of two incompetent women that decided, let's start talking about shit we hate. And then we started fighting for, you know, human rights. And now Josh is catching these positive strays because of it. It's just really, I thought that was just a really cool for us. Yes.
I can't do the voice of J.D. Vance, but has Josh said thank you for all the goodwill that you've gotten him?
You know, he's arriving in New York tomorrow, so I will get him in a headlock. Have you said thank you, motherfucker? Have you said thank you? All right, let's welcome Kylie to go over our reviews.
Kylie. Okay, hi. Hi. I put together... Hi. a slew of one star reviews for you guys today.
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Chapter 5: What is the significance of the New York Times article on Lauren Sánchez Bezos?
This first one took the time to do one stars with a sick face emoji as the title. And then Grateful Missouri Sinner puts the vomit emoji as their review. I thought that was sweet.
Yeah. And I mean, that's just, you know, for those people that are illiterate, emojis offer a great way to communicate. You know, this is a great way for people in Missouri, Josh Hawley State, that, you know, are illiterate. Emojis offer a way for people to communicate one-star reviews in the MAGA world.
Okay, and then this next one, one star titled Shrill and Viet Shlong writes, will make you regret ever giving women the franchise? What franchise? I'm not sure which franchise.
I don't know.
Chapter 6: How do the hosts feel about the portrayal of wealthy individuals in media?
Ryan, anybody? Viet Shlong. I can tell you one thing about Viet Shlong right now. I don't even have to see a picture. Viet Shlong is a teeny weeny peeny. If you have to put how big your Shlong is in your bio, it immediately tells me you have issues in the bedroom.
Okay.
All right, then this last one is kind of a doozy. One star titled Privilege and F500 exec writes, these women are enormously privileged to sit on their rears from the comfort of home free to criticize everyone who isn't in lockstep with them.
I'd just like to thank the courageous men and women who made the ultimate sacrifice over many generations so they can spout their privileged rhetoric, parentheses socialist garbage, in the freest nation on God's green earth. God bless America.
Leave that up for just a second.
Okay. Enormously privileged. I would say yes I am, but I've earned every penny of it. Never asked anybody for money and never sucked a dick for any amount of money that is in my bank account. All earned by me. And the privilege that I have, of course, my white skin helped me have an easier way than maybe others.
But I have always worked my fucking ass off 50, 60 hours a week, nonstop to provide for myself and for my kids and to never be beholden to my parents or to my husband ever. So. Call that what you want. That's why we both advocate so much for women having their own money.
As for you thanking the courageous men and women who made the ultimate sacrifice over many generations so they can spout their privileged rhetoric, what I have to say to you, F500 exec, is if you really cared about the troops, you would fucking vote for the troops. Your vote via Republican vote, you vote for the military-industrial complex. You vote for the bombs.
You do not vote for the soldiers. The Republican Party allows these soldiers to come back home and gives them a big, fuck you, 35% of all homeless people are veterans. Spare me that you give a fuck about veterans. That is one of the biggest Republican lies right there with trickle-down economics and that Lindsey Graham is straight. I mean, I've had it.
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