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Full Episode
Ready? One, two, three. All right, listen up. This is the rebellion. And what we say here is patriots, gay-triots, they-triots. That's right.
Pumps, what have you had it with? Okay, what I've had it with is when internet stalking goes so wrong. And this happened to me very recently. I have a few accounts that just for my own personal amusement that I stalk. Yeah. Because I'm just like, I cannot believe this is on the internet. Like they put it on there. Not like hidden camera. Yeah.
And the other day, I was going through one of my stalker accounts, and I liked it. I liked it. And now they know that I stalked them, and it's so embarrassing. You liked their post? Yes. I was trying to enlarge it, and I liked it.
See, this is my worst nightmare with you. It's horrible. I'll be like, oh, my God, look at what such and such post. And you're like, oh, my God, let me see. Let me see. And you're grabbing your glasses. And I just immediately start like cringing, throw in a kegel for good measure. And I'm like, do not double tap at pumps. Pumps do not. I won't. I won't.
Sure enough. Yeah. And see, I've done that to Emily's phone, my daughter's phone, like two or three times. And she gets so mad. Child abuse. And I'm just like, oh, whatever. Who cares? That is child abuse. But when I did it to myself, I was just like, okay, I owe her an apology because it's really bad. Because it's like the minute you see the heart, you're like... Oh, it's humiliating.
Oh, my God. Did I ever tell you about the time one of my dearest girlfriends forever? It was when email first came out and she was emailing at work and an email from a guy that she dated came in. And at the same time, an email from her friend saying how was the date came in.
So she accidentally responded to what she thought was her friend and started describing how she didn't think she could go out with him again because he had this weird odor that he had this smell on his breath that was like vomit. And he was cute enough and entertaining, but it was just this reek smell, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
And if you knew her, you would know that she would go on and on in describing exactly the smell. Yeah. Then she hits send and she realizes it was to him. And she runs into like the computer room. It's like, you have to get it back. You're like, you can't get it back. And he just responded. I guess we won't be seeing each other again.
I mean, that's bad. There is nothing more terrifying than sending a text to the wrong person. Oftentimes during the day, I have my texts pulled up on my desktop or on my laptop because then I can use full 10 digits to fire off texts from my keyboard. So I'm looking at an email, looking at a website, texts are right there.
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