Met Gala, Muppets and Meltdowns
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What controversial statement did Elmo make on Sesame Street?
Ready? One, two, three. Patriots, gay-triots, they-triots, black-triots, brown-triots, we love you, and all of MAGA and the fascists can do what, pumps? Fuck off! Which I feel weird doing it in front of Josh, even though I shouldn't. You always feel embarrassed when we do it in front of people. I know, it's like I'm in a bubble otherwise. Who was the most embarrassing?
The most embarrassing? Golly, that's a tough one. Maybe I'll tell you who it was. The cute guy that was in California. We did Jerry O'Connell. That was the most embarrassing because he's so cute. But he's so like jovial and funny and he was doing all this stuff with you. But he's so darling. Like he's so cute. It's intimidating.
Do you have a crush on Jerry O'Connell? Who doesn't?
Look at it as your chance to talk dirty. That's your shot.
Maybe if you're attracted to the guy instead of saying fuck off, you can say fuck me.
Fuck me. Please.
How do the hosts feel about the Met Gala's billionaire sponsorship?
It's been 7,000 days. Throw that in next time.
All right, Pumps. What have you had it with? Okay. What I've had it with, what I was going to start with is what I've fucking had it with is when you have a traffic slowdown and a guy on a crotch rocket comes right in, right next to you in between the lanes. That's what I've had it with. But what happened to me just now is I was prancing around the gym in light green leggings and going to yoga and a girlfriend in the class, I walk in and she busts out laughing at me. And I'm like, Oh my God, what? And she's like, look in the mirror. My camel toe was so bad. It looked like a dick. It looked like I had a dick in my pants at yoga just now.
Not even flat. I don't remember how many episodes ago it was, but it's got to be two years ago. I advised you that you had to remain vigilant in camel toe prevention. Your voice went through my head. How you do not feel, because it looks so painful when I see your camel toe. And you're so unaware of it. I'm like, is her vagina that numb from lack of use? How does she not feel this giant, thick, wide dental floss up her twat? For God's sake, it's unbelievable.
Is there any way I can leave and come back maybe in about five or ten minutes?
Yeah.
Oh, no, because my grievance is directed at you, which let me just dive into that. Pumps, you'll love this one. I have two grievances with Josh. And I just want to say before I do them, there was a time and pumps can attest to this where. I would say to Peps and I would say to Josh, I just want normal people problems. I don't want to deal with addiction and money issues. And we had really, listener Josh and I, had really big major life problems. And now I have normal people problems and I have gratitude for normal people problems. And so here are my grievances with Josh. Number one is... He is a purse hijacker. And what I mean by this is last night we were invited to a party that Mehdi Hassan of Zateo Media was hosting.
And I have a lot of really cute little evening bags that I have calculated when I purchased them. phone, little sleeve of nicotine gum, lipstick, keys. It all works out perfectly in my head. I scale it all out when I buy the purse. I'm like, this is perfect for me. This is the perfect evening bag for me. And I have multiple of these. As we're leaving, it never fails.
What embarrassing moment did the host share about yoga class?
As we're leaving, Josh, first of all, he can't just walk out the door. No, don't talk. He cannot just walk out the door effortlessly. Like, oh, I'm ready to go. And we just walk out. We have to narrate. Do I have this? Do I have that? Oh, I need to pee. We're narrating every fucking thing we're doing. And I'm still standing at the door. And then it comes a handful of shit. That he wants me to put in my little pre-scaled purse that I didn't allot for his glasses, his, what are they, Zen? What are those things?
A little Zen. A little like Zen nicotine pouch.
Sometimes there's some, a wallet. There's all of these things that he dumps on me. And I'm trying to be agreeable. And I'm like, okay, be a sharer, be a big girl. So I start to try to make room in my purse for the hijack that took place. Then I arrive at the venue and I'm trying to fit my phone in, which again, I pre-calculated when I purchased the purse that my shit would fit in it.
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Chapters
8 chapters
1
What controversial statement did Elmo make on Sesame Street?
0:06–1:07
2
How do the hosts feel about the Met Gala's billionaire sponsorship?
1:07–3:48
3
What embarrassing moment did the host share about yoga class?
3:48–6:06
4
What grievances do the hosts have about their personal lives?
6:06–9:40
5
How do the hosts critique the behavior of MAGA Christians?
9:40–14:01
6
What insights are shared about the impact of wealth on society?
14:01–17:48
7
What are the implications of the Met Gala boycott?
17:48–20:49
8
What is Jennifer's new book 'Not Today, Fascists' about?
20:49–57:44