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Chapter 1: What controversial statement did Elmo make on Sesame Street?
Ready? One, two, three. Patriots, gay-triots, they-triots, black-triots, brown-triots, we love you, and all of MAGA and the fascists can do what, pumps? Fuck off! Which I feel weird doing it in front of Josh, even though I shouldn't. You always feel embarrassed when we do it in front of people. I know, it's like I'm in a bubble otherwise. Who was the most embarrassing?
The most embarrassing? Golly, that's a tough one. Maybe I'll tell you who it was. The cute guy that was in California. We did Jerry O'Connell. That was the most embarrassing because he's so cute. But he's so like jovial and funny and he was doing all this stuff with you. But he's so darling. Like he's so cute. It's intimidating.
Do you have a crush on Jerry O'Connell? Who doesn't?
Look at it as your chance to talk dirty. That's your shot.
Maybe if you're attracted to the guy instead of saying fuck off, you can say fuck me.
Fuck me. Please.
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Chapter 2: How do the hosts feel about the Met Gala's billionaire sponsorship?
It's been 7,000 days. Throw that in next time.
All right, Pumps. What have you had it with? Okay. What I've had it with, what I was going to start with is what I've fucking had it with is when you have a traffic slowdown and a guy on a crotch rocket comes right in, right next to you in between the lanes. That's what I've had it with. But what happened to me just now is I was prancing around the gym in light green leggings and
going to yoga and a girlfriend in the class, I walk in and she busts out laughing at me. And I'm like, Oh my God, what? And she's like, look in the mirror. My camel toe was so bad. It looked like a dick. It looked like I had a dick in my pants at yoga just now.
Not even flat. I don't remember how many episodes ago it was, but it's got to be two years ago. I advised you that you had to remain vigilant in camel toe prevention. Your voice went through my head. How you do not feel, because it looks so painful when I see your camel toe. And you're so unaware of it. I'm like, is her vagina that numb from lack of use?
How does she not feel this giant, thick, wide dental floss up her twat? For God's sake, it's unbelievable.
Is there any way I can leave and come back maybe in about five or ten minutes?
Yeah.
Oh, no, because my grievance is directed at you, which let me just dive into that. Pumps, you'll love this one. I have two grievances with Josh. And I just want to say before I do them, there was a time and pumps can attest to this where. I would say to Peps and I would say to Josh, I just want normal people problems. I don't want to deal with addiction and money issues.
And we had really, listener Josh and I, had really big major life problems. And now I have normal people problems and I have gratitude for normal people problems. And so here are my grievances with Josh. Number one is... He is a purse hijacker. And what I mean by this is last night we were invited to a party that Mehdi Hassan of Zateo Media was hosting.
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Chapter 3: What embarrassing moment did the host share about yoga class?
As we're leaving, Josh, first of all, he can't just walk out the door. No, don't talk. He cannot just walk out the door effortlessly. Like, oh, I'm ready to go. And we just walk out. We have to narrate. Do I have this? Do I have that? Oh, I need to pee. We're narrating every fucking thing we're doing. And I'm still standing at the door. And then it comes a handful of shit.
That he wants me to put in my little pre-scaled purse that I didn't allot for his glasses, his, what are they, Zen? What are those things?
A little Zen. A little like Zen nicotine pouch.
Sometimes there's some, a wallet. There's all of these things that he dumps on me. And I'm trying to be agreeable. And I'm like, okay, be a sharer, be a big girl. So I start to try to make room in my purse for the hijack that took place. Then I arrive at the venue and I'm trying to fit my phone in, which again, I pre-calculated when I purchased the purse that my shit would fit in it.
And only my shit, my stuff, my purse. And I only want my stuff in it. And so as we're walking in last night, I'm like, because his little Zen container was there and his wallet was there. And I was like, now my phone won't fit in here.
She did this like, I mean, she looked down and she fumbled through, couldn't get her phone. It didn't fit right because my stuff was in there. And I can see this noticeable just glare up at me like, motherfucker.
Yeah.
Josh, did you offer to take your stuff back so she didn't have it in her purse?
I think I did, actually. I did. I did at that point.
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Chapter 4: What grievances do the hosts have about their personal lives?
The second point is I believe that he is a bulimic pooper. And what I mean by this is he's constantly forcing poops that aren't ready in a very ill-timed manner.
I'm very proactive in trying to – When it comes to pooping, like I try to get out in front of the problem, like well in advance. Well in advance. I'm so glad that these important topics are being shared. Like everybody needs to know.
Again, I have gratitude for these problems. I have gratitude. Be careful what you wish for. That the purse hijack is my complaint with you. The purse hijack is almost unforgivable, really. And it's constant. It's constant. you have a man purse. It's not like you're against carrying your own bag.
No, but some of these functions, I don't know if I want to bring that. I know last night was kind of an exception, but I've done it many times before. And it is like on a small purse, if you add three or four items to a very small handbag, it just consumes the handbag. And so I accept some responsibility for that. I have to admit it.
All right, Josh, what have you had it with?
Well, I've had it with a bunch of things, but the first thing I've had it with is, and I've thought a lot about this, but it's men that wear khaki shorts. And I want to, I want to preface this by saying that I used to wear khaki shorts. Okay. Okay. And, and I, some part of me wants to wear khaki shorts again, but there's nothing appealing or attractive about wearing khaki shorts.
Like they just don't fit well. Do you know what I'm talking about? Do you see all the kids or guys that wear these big khaki shorts as an adult, as an seems impossible to me. They just don't fit. They don't look right. So that's number one. Number two are these puffer vest that men wear. Do you know what I'm talking about? The puffer vest. I despise those puffer vests.
I think maybe it's because I despise the people that wear the puffer vest. So I'm going to put those two in one category. Then the third thing that I've had it with I recently moved my law office to Midtown, Oklahoma City, not Manhattan.
There's just a slight difference.
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Chapter 5: How do the hosts critique the behavior of MAGA Christians?
I don't necessarily believe in Jesus and all that. But if I was a Christian, it would seem like I would try to emulate the Savior, the guy himself, Jesus Christ, and all these people that I see that are Christians are just the opposite. They don't want to give shit to anybody. They don't want to help anybody. In fact, what they want to do is prevent people from getting help that need help.
And so my grievance, aside from khaki shorts and puffer vest, are Christians who refuse to act like Jesus should be barred from Christianity. Their name should be struck from the halls, from the ledgers of Christianity.
What about a Christian wearing khaki shorts, a dry fit polo, which I think you've mentioned before on the podcast.
Under armor.
Under armor, which is kind of like workout fraud because they have an under armor shirt and they're not actually working out with a puffer vest. walking past homeless people and saying disparaging things.
See, I think all of those things go together because the type of people that wear khaki shorts that are men and that wear sleeveless puffer vest are, in Oklahoma at least, white male Christians. And most of the white male Christians don't act like Jesus in Oklahoma, at least that I know. But I try not to know that many of them or at least talk to them.
It's a concerted effort.
Yeah.
So I just want everybody to know that this atheist in Oklahoma is out there doing the Lord's work. I'm out there helping people. I'm out there trying to act like Jesus.
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Chapter 6: What insights are shared about the impact of wealth on society?
That's right. And it's really like I try to remove religion from any of it, really. And it's pretty basic. You just simply wake up in the morning and you be nice to people. Kindness. And if someone needs some help, maybe you offer it to them. You do something to help someone else. And that's it. Whether you're a Christian, whether you're an atheist, whether you're a Buddhist. It doesn't matter.
It's really not that hard. And it shows you how many fucking awful mean people there are in the world. And this administration has given everybody a free license. A free license to act this way.
Think about this, Josh and Pumps. If you look at the Bible Belt and you look at the politicians that they've elected, the government officials, these are the cruelest states imaginable. The politicians that these religious states elect are a reflection of their religious beliefs. Agreed. And they are also a testament to the fact that prayer doesn't work. Because these people pray nonstop, 24-7.
And all of the prayer in Oklahoma has driven us from 17th in education to 14th. 50th. And so if you look at these Bible Belt states, it's just jaw dropping how they elect the cruelest, meanest people right now in Oklahoma in the gubernatorial primary on the Republican side. It is a race to the bottom. Who can out crazy each other? Who can be the meanest? Who can be the cruelest?
Who can act like they love the troops? They'll never vote for some homeless PTSD vet ever. They will never do it, but they'll lie to everybody and say they will.
I do want to point out, and this reminded me when you said this, that if you'll remember, we were in a group meet for our youngest son's basketball team, and they would have prayers before the games in the group meet.
praying for the players and you know we would go out and get our ass kicked by 20 or 30 points by a team and i think everybody said the prayers in the group but we would just get the shit kicked out of us josh would say i want to follow up and go hey we didn't show up for the prayer thing but it doesn't look like it's working they just got their ass beat
Well, if prayer worked, we wouldn't have a gun problem in this country.
That's right. So I just would always be like, man, if we only said two or three more prayers maybe or four or five more prayers, then somehow we're more special than the other kids and we're going to get what we need. But anyway, I digress.
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Chapter 7: What are the implications of the Met Gala boycott?
And then another response. Sally Jack 3 says, why does the U.S. have an Arab American Heritage Month and not an English American Heritage Month when the English founded the country? And then AI says there is no widely recognized or federally designated English American Heritage Month in the United States because we live that every day. Every day.
And then the last response, and this was all over the internet, Jewish American Pirate says, why is at Elmo with a pro-Hamas, pro-jihad, 9-11 lover comedian? It's not very funny. I miss old Sesame Street. What guest is next? A bin Laden talking about planes at Sesame Street. This type of Islamophobia is so normalized on the American right.
And you have people like the ADL, the Anti-Defamation League, that excused Elon Musk giving two back-to-back sick hiles. And then they are laser focused on Zoram Mamdani because he's a Muslim. It's such bullshit, these groups and the way they behave. Muslim Americans are a part of America. You can either be a dick like these three people here or maybe, I don't know, maybe mix around a little bit.
Get out of your white cookie cutter neighborhood and mix around with people. And it makes your life better. We were at a party last night and I think it was majority Muslim people. We had an absolute total blast. Kind, normal, fun people. interesting, lovely people.
But that would require you to, number one, be curious, openly curious about other people's cultures that's different than yours, to be somewhat open-minded. I think that the past four years or six, eight years, 10 years, however long Trump's been with us, I definitely think you've seen this more Out in the open style of racism, just blatant racism.
And the only thing we talk about this a lot on this program, at least since since I've been here this week. And the only thing that we can do is we have a responsibility, number one, to call it out and recognize it. And then number two, to let other people know that, hey, we're not all like that, like we're not. And it's something that we take very serious. And it's sad. It's sad.
It's dog whistling. And we all know people that do it, that are like that, especially back home. We're in the Bible Belt. We see day to day how they marginalize trans kids, gay kids, especially in small rural towns. It's sad. And so we have an obligation to stand up for those people and tell them that, listen, This isn't the norm. When I say these people, I mean these groups.
This isn't the norm, and we're here to protect you.
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Chapter 8: What is Jennifer's new book 'Not Today, Fascists' about?
I think it's really cool that Elmo is – I thought that was a cool video. I love multiculturalism, and I think it's enriching and a part of great development to learn about different cultures and to learn different languages. But Rami Youssef responds to the backlash. Let's hear his response.
Very emotional. Actually, if you watch the clip, you can tell them. I can't believe it. It's very surreal, you know, the entire time.
Some other people were emotional about it because it was not without controversy. I have a clip for you.
What? I wish Sesame Street would stick to teaching kids about letters and numbers, Laura, and leave the Arabic immersion to someone else. Next, Bert and Ernie will be praying five times a day on Sesame Street facing east.
So you seem to embrace this on Instagram. What did you make of all this?
Well, you know, I feel for them, right? Because, I mean, you guys were talking about it earlier. I think they're worried. You know, they're saying Arabic immersion, and it's got to be tough because I think they're supporters of the president. So imagine your president on Easter is tweeting praise be to Allah, and now Elmo's saying Habibi. It feels threatening.
It's over. Yeah, that is so good. Okay, so in the clip, in the Fox News clip, that Raymond Arroyo, who is seen in that clip, previously criticized the Biden administration in 2021 for partnering with Sesame Street to teach kids about child refugees. In January 2024, Elmo posted a simple, how are you doing check-in on Twitter?
And Arroyo responded saying, it speaks to the arrested development that you see through the culture, mocking adults for pouring out their hearts to a puppet created for preschoolers. And so Sesame Street has a history of teaching Spanish, of featuring prominent Black actors. And it This is really problematic for these white supremacists, white nationalists. And I think this is their final push.
And we need to ridicule and bully these people. Think about this guy. And think about Laura Ingraham there. Like, you're triggered... By Elmo saying, what did he say? Salaam alaikum? Or something. That triggers you. And then you got dipshit Trump over there talking about nuking an entire culture. And that's just a free hall pass. Or grab him by the pussy. Let's go vote for him.
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