Transcript generated automatically by AI and may contain errors.
Chapter 1: What is discussed at the start of this section?
Hey, this is Red Band, and you're listening to the Death Squad Podcast Network. This episode and every episode of Kill Tony can be found at DeathSquad.TV. All our merch can be found for Kill Tony at KillMerch.com.
Tony's on a brand new tour. He's going all over the place. So check out TonyHinchcliffe.com for everything Golden Pony.
And last but not least, don't forget I have a new comedy club called the Sunset Strip. We have a bi-weekly show with the Kill Tony Band. And the secret show is every single Thursday. Get tickets at SunsetStripATX.com. And now a brand new episode of Kill Tony.
The world is in peril. It's chaos everywhere. We're not covering any of it, because we're too stupid. You're black, right? Right.
Allegedly.
Robert Paul Champagne. All it takes for rappers to join Pickleball is for Michael Jordan to make some Jordans for Pickleball. Merry Christmas, you guys. You sound like every gay in Manhattan. I feel gay. Try it out.
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Chapter 2: What new comedy venue is introduced?
Are washcloths for the poor?
How much is it going to hurt again?
ever heard of the pulitzer prize we sure haven't go to ymhstudios.com to get your tickets right now hey y'all it is a super duper digital event like nothing we've ever done before a two-night experience unlike anything in kill tony history go to killtonylive.com and get your live streaming tickets for the two arena shows so Much insanity is going to happen.
As always, I always keep the guests and anything that I have up my sleeve a complete surprise for you. But if I told you what was going to happen on these two nights, you would be pumped. And plus, you already know, all your favorite regulars. And, of course, Rick Diaz versus Hans Kim for eternal regularship on the show. A battle of two absolute autistic titans. Who knows what can happen?
A lot of special treats. A lot of special guests. It's going to be like the 10-year anniversary show, but on absolute steroids. Super pumped. Get tickets now. and support your favorite show in the world, the number one live podcast. Started with 14 people in a tiny little room. Now we're going global. That's KillTonyLive.com for the amazing two-night event, December 30th and 31st.
You're going to be sick of your family.
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Chapter 3: How does the podcast address current events?
Have some laughs. Enjoy two nights of Kill Tony live. Anything can happen.
KillTonyLive.com. Hey, this is Red Band coming to you live from the Comedy Mothership here in Austin, Texas for a brand new episode of Kill Tony. Give it up for Tony Hitchcliffe!
Who's ready for the best fucking night of their lives, huh? How about a hand for Red Band, everybody?
Yeah!
We've been doing this 10 and a half years. You can't tell from the band to the intro transition, but 10 and a half years of practice. He has it hitting that fucking go button. Amazing. This is Kill Tony. Believe it or not, the number one live podcast in the world.
Brought to you by Gel Blaster, the Red Rose, Yellow Rose, Hall Law Firm, Connect, mobilehealth.com, where you can get an IV drip, ninjapartybus.com, where you can get a fun ride anywhere you want in the city. and Austin Security Guard Service, the best security guards in the world are here in Austin, Texas. How about a hand for the best damn band in the land, the Kill Tony Band.
That's the great Michael Gonzalez on the drums. Paul Deemer on the horns. Beautiful Matt Muehling on the electric guitar. John Dees on the keys. And this is the great Dee Madness on the bass guitar, everybody. We have a lot of fun stuff happening tonight, but before we get started, here's a little bit from the amazing sponsors that made tonight's episode available for you here right now.
Hey y'all, are you really a fan of the show if you don't have the official Kill Tony Christmas tree ornament? I mean, even if you only celebrate Hanukkah or Kwanzaa, now is the time. Go to killmerch.com, take one of these ornaments, stick it to your menorah or whatever you possibly have. Maybe some of you have palm trees or a cacti of some kind.
Get a Kill Tony Christmas tree ornament and help put food on Red Band's table now. Hey, y'all. This episode of Kill Tony is brought to you by Zippix Toothpicks. Zippix brings you a totally satisfying, convenient, and flavorful way to curb cravings, get a boost of energy, or simply relax at the end of your day. I absolutely love these things.
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Chapter 4: What are the challenges of dating relationships?
Who here's on a date? Anybody on a date? Yeah, nobody? Fuck you. All right. Yeah. No, guys. Dating relationships are hard for me. I get too invested in short-term relationships. Gave my last girlfriend 150 bucks. Her relationship only lasted an hour.
Chapter 5: How does Stavros describe his current relationship?
Turns out we're both hiding things from each other. I'm an underachiever. She was an undercover. Yeah. When she got the handcuffs out, I thought it was just getting freaky. No, guys, for real, I'm in a long-term relationship. It's great. We just celebrated our one-year anniversary. It's awesome.
Chapter 6: What humorous anecdotes does Stavros share about his dating life?
Yeah. For real, guys. It's really special because she's 85 and every day counts. You know, the weird thing about dating an 85-year-old is meeting the parents. LOL, JK. She hates that joke, but it's hard to carry a grudge if you got early onset Alzheimer's. Oh, man. Guys, I'm a slightly handicapped straight white male. That means it's not too long before the R word comes out. Racist.
Did I say racist? There goes my speech impediment. All right. Hi. Hey, what's up, stuff?
Chapter 7: How does Stavros engage with the audience during the show?
Fuck yeah.
Jack Horner. Oh, fuck.
Fuck.
Absolutely. Fantastic. Welcome back to the show, my friend.
Thank you. It's good to be back, Tony. You have such a great fucking energy. Yeah, it's the cocaine.
It's crashing really hard. It's amazing.
This is intense.
Amazing. Definitely not from Wisconsin at all.
Yeah, no. Well, I'm from Missouri, but yeah, whatever. There you go. Good enough. Yeah, whatever.
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