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Chapter 1: What is discussed at the start of this section?
Hey, this is Red Band, and you're listening to the Death Squad Podcast Network. This episode and every episode of Kill Tony can be found at DeathSquad.TV. All our merch can be found for Kill Tony at KillMerch.com. Tony's on a brand new tour. He's going all over the place. So check out TonyHinchcliffe.com for everything Golden Pony.
And last but not least, don't forget I have a new comedy club called The Sunset Strip. We have a bi-weekly show with the Kill Tony Band. And the secret show is every single Thursday. Get tickets at SunsetStripATX.com. And now a brand new episode of Kill Tony.
Hey y'all, HelloFresh can save you much needed time during the hectic holiday season with meals like spicy Peruvian chicken, which I recently enjoyed. Use code KTSHOWFREE, all one word, for free breakfast for life at HelloFresh.com slash KTSHOWFREE. That's one breakfast item per box while subscription is active at HelloFresh.com slash KTSHOWFREE. Hey, y'all.
It is a super duper digital event like nothing we've ever done before. A two-night experience unlike anything in Kill Tony history. Go to killtonylive.com and get your live streaming tickets for the two arena shows. So awesome. Much insanity is going to happen. As always, I always keep the guests and anything that I have up my sleeve a complete surprise for you.
But if I told you what was going to happen on these two nights, you would be pumped. And plus, you already know, all your favorite regulars. And, of course, Rick Diaz versus Hans Kim for eternal regularship on the show. A battle of two absolute autistic titans. Who knows what can happen? A lot of special treats. A lot of special guests.
It's going to be like the 10-year anniversary show, but on absolute steroids. Super pumped. Get tickets now and support. your favorite show in the world. The number one live podcast started with 14 people in a tiny little room. Now we're going global. That's kill Tony live.com for the amazing two night event, December 30th and 31st. You're going to be sick of your family. Have some laughs.
Enjoy two nights of kill Tony live. Anything can happen.
Kill Tony live.com. Hey, this is Red Band coming to you live from the Comedy Mothership here in Austin, Texas for a brand new episode of Kill Tony. Give it up for Tony Hatchclay!
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Chapter 2: What exciting events are coming up for Kill Tony?
Who's ready for the best fucking early evening of their lives, huh? Yeah! Make some noise for Red Band, everybody.
Hi!
You did it. You made it, you lucky fucks. You're at the number one live podcast in the world, brought to you by Gel Blaster, The Red Rose, Yellow Rose, Hall Law Firm, NinjaPartyBus.com, where you can now get shuttles for the December 30th and New Year's Eve shows that are happening at the H-E-B Center.
Austin Security Guard Service, killmerch.com, and connectmobilehealth.com, which gave us all IV drips today. We are fully recovered from the first ever Comedy Mothership Christmas party owned by Joe Rogan, which you can imagine was a hell of a Christmas party. We did it. Last night, and thanks to connectmobilehealth.com, we are fully refreshed. I mean, look at us just glowing up here.
This is the best I've ever seen Red Band look. If you would have known what we were doing at 4 a.m. last night, you would be shocked that we are here and alive. And we're happy to announce that there's a new promo code, KILL15, where you can get 15% off an IV drip. These things fucking work. If you guys have a wild night in Austin, get a fucking IV drip. You feel amazing. 130%.
better, like you had a full night's rest. And connectmobilehealth.com is your official sponsor of the band tonight, everybody. You heard them, you love them. That's Michael Gonzalez on the drums. Paul Diemer on the horns. The great Matt Muehling on the electric guitar. That's John Dees, the leader of the band on the keys, celebrating three years with us.
And this is the backbone, D Madness, ladies and gentlemen, on the bass guitar. A lot of fun stuff about to happen. Before we start, here's a little bit more from the amazing sponsors that made tonight's episode available for you here right now. We have a retarded guy in the absolute dead center of the room asking me how I am. So this is going to be your chance. Oh, nope. Yeah, you're gone.
They already got you. They give a quick diagnosis here, bro. This is a real live show. I know I do. See you later, pal. Did I mention that IV drips can completely sober you up and make you feel great? Hey, y'all, the holidays can be a lot. They used to leave a lot of people drained, but not this year.
This year, a lot of people are enjoying the holidays thanks to the gift of therapy from Talkspace. You know, they are out there helping so many people. You sign up online, you get matched with a provider, typically within 48 hours, and it's all at Talkspace.com. It's really easy to use. It's fast. You just download.
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Chapter 3: How does Howie Mandel describe his early comedy experiences?
I started comedy around the same time Louis got canceled for jerking off in front of women. And I was like, fuck, that's why I got into this. Actually, I'm not really sure why I started comedy. I think it's just because I've always been a big fan of it, you know? Like, when I was 10, I wrote Robin Williams a letter. It just said, kill yourself.
Oh.
He didn't respond.
All right. Dayton Bissette. I love it. Welcome to the show. Hi, hello. This is your first time here, correct? Yeah.
I love it. And Austin too, first time. Okay, welcome. Wow, where are you from? I live in New York now, but I'm from Kansas City.
Wow, you have that kind of laid back, kind of comfortable attitude that I like.
Thank you.
You don't seem laid back. You seem like really nervous and uncomfortable. I was just being facetious. But it's funny. You are so fucking funny. You really are. Have you done stand-up before?
Yeah, I'm about five years in. Five years.
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Chapter 4: What unique segments are introduced in this episode?
But none of those are what's really annoying about him. What is is he feels like he's gotta be included in everything. He's a little cholo bozo homo with fomo. You know? Yolo. I think my best friend, I think my best friend's starting to go crazy. He just recently bought one of those lifelike sex dolls. He knows what I'm talking about.
And the other day I went to his house and when I walked in he was crying and he was holding a pair of these underwear. He was screaming at that doll, whose underwear are these? And man, when I saw this as his friend, I knew I had to be supportive. Especially, because those are my favorite underwear. My dad is trans, but it's cool because I never see him.
Y'all know what it's like having a transparent, transparent. Thank you. Ty Marion. Okay. I get it. You kind of have a little trademark. You're like a little pun wordsmith. He's a wordsmith. Yeah. You got funny words, and you put words together. It's English. What? They're English? I know. Majority case you didn't understand.
No, I know.
The bozo with the FOMO and the transparent. Yeah. Good. You don't have the face of a guy that would be a wordsmith. No, more like a blacksmith, probably. Yeah, there you go. You just did it again, you son of a bitch. Look at you. You're a little trickster over there. I love it. You've been on this show before.
You have a face that's kind of memorable, like a melting pumpkin or something like that. Thanks. Yeah. You made fun, everybody actually made fun of it. Y'all made fun of last time I was on. You made fun of my complexion. What did I say? Something just being dark looking and weird looking. You remember, you remember. Come on, it was better than that. There's got to be a word for what he said.
No, you just said basically, essentially it made it sound like I was brown, round, and had downs. Is everything that you kept saying. That sounds like one of your jokes. That's his thing.
Hell yeah. That's his thing. You're like the new Nipsey Russell. Nobody knows who Nipsey Russell is. No. But he was a guy in the 80s, I guess, that rhymed. Yes. Yeah, so you're kind of more of a poet than a comedian. Like a poet.
Yeah, the other day I called the W word, the wigger,
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Chapter 5: What humorous moments occur when spelling words like 'nicotine'?
You're making us look bad on national TV.
Well, that's barking.
Yes, the woot woot. Yeah, that's an easy one, man. Give me something else. Okay.
All right, Cat. Cat, be careful what you wish for. Here we go. The word in which you will spell is the word nicotine.
Come on, man.
You were bragging about how easy dog is. Pretending like I'm being the best. Is he high?
Did you sell something to your pop?
Okay, how about cigarette? As in... Give me nicotine in a sentence. Okay. Use nicotine in a sentence? Use nicotine in a sentence. Here it is. Here's the sentence. My dark ass friend smoked a nicotine filled cigarette.
With his dog.
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Chapter 6: How does the spelling game lead to comedic interactions?
All right, so we're passing. Pass. P-A-S-T. Okay. Okay. P-A-S-T. He's passed on that one.
P-A-S-T. He passed on that one. All right.
Thank you. Okay. I actually like this. Welcome to another episode of Spelling BET, everybody. Here we are. Here's your next word. All right, here we go. I'm not letting them off the hook this easily. I'm going to make them try to spell something. Your next word, since you passed on the last one, is guitar.
Oh, that's easy, man. You got that.
I don't think it's easy. He hasn't spelled a goddamn thing yet. He tried to make the noise of a dog and went woo woo woo woo. Are you saying guitar or get-tar?
Guitar.
Guitar. Like Matt Muehling plays the electric guitar.
Oh, okay.
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Chapter 7: What happens when the topic shifts to personal stories and family?
That's nice.
That's nice. No, that's an example. He wasn't giving you a fucking fact.
That's nice. I like. He plays guitar. That's nice.
That's a good thing that he does that. I'm glad he plays guitar. That's good for that boy. Hell yeah. That's dope.
You got to keep playing that guitar. He playing real well. I like him. Without looking it up, this is your chance. Spell the word guitar.
I have to pass on that one.
You got it. You know what's weird? We had an easier time commuting with a guy from Korea. Hans' father doesn't speak a fucking word of English, and we communicated with him. Your dad's in fucking Orlando.
I just love the attitude that he has. Like, come on, man, dog's too easy. Yeah. Guitar, I gotta pass. I gotta pass. P-A-S-T, pass.
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Chapter 8: How do the comedians react to unexpected twists in the conversation?
Use nicotine in a sentence. Oh, man, that's funny. Wow.
You know, the reason he couldn't count to 10 until he was 12 is your fucking fault. All right, this is just too much fun. So I'm going to give you one last word. Dipping dots. Leather. Spell the word leather. Oh, dad, that's easy as fuck. We got this. You're messing them up when you tell them it's easy.
Easy as fuck.
Nothing is easy. Leather, go ahead.
All those words you gave me is very, very easy. I'm a very good speller. Am I on the TV? Am I on the show for real?
Yes. Yes. I got bad news for you. You are, and you've spelled nothing so far. We will put it in. Does he ever text you anything?
Do you know what the fuck he's saying? Never makes sense. I can spell rock.
I can spell rock.
He can spell rock.
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