Transcript generated automatically by AI and may contain errors.
Chapter 1: What is discussed at the start of this section?
Hey, this is Red Band, and you're listening to the Death Squad Podcast Network. This episode of Kill Tony and every episode of Kill Tony can be found at DeathSquad.TV. And don't forget to check out everything Tony Hinchcliffe at TonyHinchcliffe.com. And the Sunset Strips, my new comedy club in Austin, Texas, go to SunsetStripATX.com. And now, here's a brand new episode of Kill Tony.
Hey, y'all, the L.A. Forum is right around the corner. And contrary to a lot of people's rumors, there are still tickets available for that. The YouTube theater two days later has sold out. Also, there's still a few tickets available for night one at Madison Square Garden. The two night super mega event, the biggest in Kiltoni's history. Travel. Go there. We'll see you there.
And I am on tour with Stand-Up Comedy. Me and some of your favorite cronies from the show do our own stand-up sets. I'm going to be in Cleveland, Ohio, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, Boston, Massachusetts, Baltimore, Maryland, Salt Lake City, San Jose, Dallas, Houston, Texas, St. Louis, Missouri, Nashville, Tennessee, Fort Lauderdale, and Orlando.
And then that is all of the stand-up on the road I am doing until 2025. I'll be releasing that special just after May. We'll see you guys on the road. Nothing but love. Here is another episode of Kill Tony.
Hey, this is Redneck coming to you live from the Comedy Mothership here in Austin, Texas for a brand new episode of Kill Tony. Give it up for Tony H. Square! He's ready for the best fucking night of their lives, huh?
You did it. You made it.
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Chapter 2: What upcoming events are mentioned?
You're at the number one live podcast in the world. Kill Tony. You guys excited? Thanks to our friends Gel Blaster, Yellow Rose, Red Rose, Hall Law Firm, NinjaBuses.com, CM Smokehouse, Connect Mobile Health, and Asphalt 3D made us this super cool thing, this magnet bucket pool thing that now I can keep all the names that I pull out in order and in position. It's like state-of-the-art 3D printing.
Shout out to our friend Asphalt 3D. And how about one more time for the best damn band in the land, huh? God damn it. Son of a bitch. On the horns, Carlos Sosa. Raul Vallejo. And Fernando Castillo. Not to be confused with the great Michael Gonzalez. And then on the diverse side of the room, we have the mortician Matt Muehling on the electric guitar. John Deese on the keys.
And the Dark Force D-Madness on the bass guitar, everybody. Before we start tonight's episode, here's a little bit more from the amazing sponsors that made it all available for you.
The Sunset Strip Comedy Club in Austin, Texas is now open. Check out Red Band's secret show every Thursday. Go to sunsetstripatx.com for tickets.
You guys ready to start tonight's episode, huh? Every single week I have at least one of the funniest comedians in the world on this show. This week is no different.
I love this show because I take great pride in not only pulling names out of the bucket and introducing people to people, to comedians that are getting their start or perhaps breaking into the industry, but another one of the amazing things that I think we do here is is we introduce to you or remind you of some of the great fucking existing comedians that are about to change the goddamn game.
This is one of those guys. An absolute monster. You know him from his hit podcast, Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast. Ladies and gentlemen, this is the great and powerful Matt McCusker, everybody!
Boom! Boom!
Fuck yeah. His second time ever on the show. The first one being the New Year's Eve episode. This is his first time at Kill Tony, at the Mothership. Home field advantage. One of the newest residents of Austin, Texas. Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you. Tilting the polarization of the Austin comedy scene. One of my favorite comedians. How's it going, Matt? Pretty good.
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Chapter 3: How does Matt McCusker describe his comedy style?
Ever, ever?
You know, the N-word's like the stove. You gotta touch it at least once. You gotta see that shit's hot. You gotta... All right, thanks. Jackson. Namey? Namey. Namey, welcome to the show, Jackson. How long you been doing stand-up? Six fucking years, man. Six fucking years, man. Incredible. Where at? Houston, Texas. That's why I'm good. Okay, sure. That's why.
Houston, we know you love pumping for oil. I love it. So welcome, Jackson. This is incredible for you, Matt. Your best friend Shane is the newest Bud Light spokesman. This was the one right before him.
Oh.
He does look like one of those newfangled trans school shooters. No doubt about it. Liberal arts school shooter. I love it. Jackson, what do you do for a living? I work at a hair store. A hair store? Old ladies come up to me. They're like, what can I do with my weave? I'm like, nothing can help that mop on your head. Oh, shit. You're a bad hair salesman. Geriatric.
Damn, dude. I love it.
Are you gay? Nope. Keep dreaming, Jackson. Keep dreaming. I'll let you jerk off to the podcast, though, back at home. I love it. So how often do you come to Austin to perform? This is my first time. Your first time. Wow. Six years in Houston. This is your first time coming to Austin. And you got pulled out of the bucket first. What are the fucking odds? You're a lucky little gay guy, aren't you?
Yeah.
Tell us about some of your escapades. You said you're not that gay, but you seem gay as fuck. I'm gay as the day is long. Yeah, and the day, it might be longer than any of us know. If that's how gay you are. It's like a 48-hour day right here. So tell us about it. What's the gayest thing you've ever done? Suck dick. Okay, uh, well... I mean... Palatio? Just... Okay, yeah, I know what that is.
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Chapter 4: What is the significance of Casey Rocket's performance?
I know that sounds suspicious. There's a G-spot in your asshole. And it just comes out? Your penis gets hard and then you cum? You can cum. What? You don't like touch it or anything? If you want to. Okay. You're making this harder than it has to be. Oh, my. Jackson, have you ever been with a woman before? It's a black girl. Okay. How long ago was that? Shut your ass up, Jackson.
Shut your bitch ass up. She didn't like me. Right. Damn. She did the right thing.
Shut your blind ass up.
She did the right thing.
Hey, watch it.
famously homophobic D Madness on the attack. And he did. He got right in his face there for a second. I don't know if you saw that lean. Oh, shit. He's looking at my ass. Oh, whoa. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. D, you were nowhere close to his ass, by the way. Jackson, just up here. No, no, D, stop reaching for it. You're not going to get what you're looking for.
This is a trick to get fucked in the ass. Don't fall for it, dude. Keep that bass out of here.
I like Stevie Wonder. Come on.
Okay. Jesus, Jackson. Okay, D, relax. Relax, D. Jesus Christ. All right. Jackson, fun times. Congratulations. D, sit down, you crazy bastard. Jesus Christ. He does not like gay people. It's a thing. He's like a wild animal. It's like a bear can smell a woman's period. He can smell semen in an asshole, and he does not like it. You got a lot of attitude, man. A lot of gay attitude. Yeah, dude.
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Chapter 5: What genetic disorder is mentioned and how does it affect the child?
Okay, so it's a genetic disorder that causes obesity, intellectual disability, and shortness in height. Do you also suffer from this? Yes. I thought she got it from me. Yeah. So she's like a little ball, kind of? So it's such a spectrum thing. She doesn't really have the obesity part. Not yet. Yeah, not yet. But she is intellectually behind so far for four years old. Right, okay.
So she's four years old. What is she supposed to be doing that she can't do at four?
Like speaking full sentences and stuff. It's kind of just like little words here and there. Part of it, like there's some similar symptoms with like autism. So she's kind of like socially delayed.
okay um do you ever uh curse god because of what happened to your daughter no for a little bit i was like fuck dude like why but no she's cool she's super awesome that's awesome what kind of uh games do you play with her uh mainly she likes like being pushed down the stairs okay come on shut up shut up what are you guys at the serious show Okay, what kind of games does she like?
She just likes roughhousing, really. She likes being picked up and thrown around. Then she giggles. Yeah. I love it. Who's Prater Willie?
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Chapter 6: What kind of games does the child enjoy playing?
Who's it named after? I think a Swedish guy. It's crazy when you get the named after you. I'm kind of jealous. Yeah. It is an interesting thing. It's named after the person that discovered it, but I feel like it should be named after the first person that had it. That's what I'm saying. Yeah.
Yeah.
Bullshit. Fuck Prader-Willi. Yeah.
Chapter 7: How did the diagnosis of the genetic disorder come about?
Yeah. Fame-hungry doctor. Exactly. Oh, name it after me. That's a tight legacy, though. Yeah. So how old was she when they made this diagnosis? A little over a month. Wow. How were they able to tell so quickly? She wasn't moving at all.
Wow. She just kind of laid there. She was just kind of like there. Like something's not right. So we got to find out.
Chapter 8: What is the significance of the comedian's experiences with stand-up?
damn that is incredible and uh you're still with yeah you're with your wife what does she do uh she stays at home with the with our daughter right i mean it seems like that'd be a pretty easy babysitting job though since she doesn't move around yeah well actually now she's fucking she's all over the place but oh okay she's doing she's doing good now just that's good congratulations that's fun what else do you do for fun angelo
Uh, I do this, stand up, like to shoot, paint. What do you shoot, gel blasters? Fucking shooting ropes.
No, uh...
Nah, guns. You know, like a straight guy would do.
Yes.
Yes, there you go. Now he has proven his straightness. It wasn't the child. It wasn't the... Now that you shoot guns, we know. It's a battle nurse. That's right. An army of one. Okay. All right, Angelo. So one year in stand-up comedy, you think that's your best minute? I think that was the most punchlines I could pack into one minute.
Okay.
I think. All right. How often do you get to perform? Uh, I was doing it for like four or five times a week for a while, but the past two months I haven't done any. Why? Uh, so I just bought a house and then we, I've just been busy with work and that. So right. Work. And you're still in the army. Yep. What do they make you do here? It's pretty, like, lame, actually. I know.
When there's no, like... I know. I've been trying to get a solid... When there's no war or anything going on, you just kind of, like, count stuff, make sure everything's still there, and... Right. I'm hoping you find a war for you. That'd be nice. Yeah, I hope. Exactly. We might have a good one coming up soon.
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