Transcript generated automatically by AI and may contain errors.
Chapter 1: What is discussed at the start of this section?
And now, here's a brand new episode of Kill Tony.
Hey, this is Redman coming to you live from the Comedy Mothership here in Austin, Texas for a brand new episode of Kill Tony. Give it up for Tony Hitchclap!
Who's ready for the best fucking night of their lives, huh? Yeah. We're here. You made it. Mama, we made it. Here at the number one live podcast in the world, Kill Tony. Brought to you by some amazing sponsors, Yoni. I didn't get the three that I had to write down. How about one more time for the best damn band in the land, huh? On the horns, Carlos Sosa, Raul Vallejo, and Fernando Castillo.
Woo!
Michael Gonzalez on the drums. Nick Lewis joining us on the bass, or as I call him, Seed Madness, because he can see. Matt Muehling on the electric guitar, and our dear band leader, the great and powerful John Dees on the keys. Who wrangles these people, finds the best musicians in the city for us to play with. So much fun. Truly, I always say this, but I fucking mean it.
An action-packed show loaded up and ready to go tonight. Some very special appearances by very special people.
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Chapter 2: Who are the guests featured in this episode?
It's all going to go down all at once. Before we get started, here's a little bit more from the amazing sponsors that made it all possible.
The Sunset Strip Comedy Club in Austin, Texas is now open. Check out Red Band's secret show every Thursday. Go to sunsetstripatx.com for tickets.
Are you guys ready to start tonight's episode? Well, well, well. This is one of those nights that will, I believe, live in Kill Tony history. Two unbelievable comedians. One of them I've been working with continuously for 17 years, a legend of the comedy store. One... I just found here a few days ago. Randomly, she was performing in The Little Boy and I saw her set and I fell in love.
We ended up drinking together all night and she is one of my new favorite comedians in the world. This is her first time on panel at Kill Tony. I do believe her first time ever on a podcast. So here are our guests. Make some noise for two of the greats. Elaine and Ian Edwards, everybody. Elaine and Ian Edwards. There's Elaine. Make some noise for Elaine, her first time on the show.
Oh, a nail just fell off. A nail. You lost a nail, Elaine. There you go. Who wants it? Come on, there you go. This little Mexican boy wants it. There you go. How about one more time for Ian Edwards, ladies and gentlemen, one of the greats. This episode brought to you by Skylight, Frame, and Game Time, by the way, for those of you wondering who our amazing sponsors are. Ian Edwards.
Welcome back, my friend. How's it going?
It's good to be here, man. This is a fun show to be at, sitting next to Elaine. I can smell how old she is.
That's my pussy.
which is the name of my documentary out on Hulu. That's My Pussy is the name of your documentary? Wow. Should it have been something else, Tony? I mean, I felt a fish. I will look into changing it. Okay.
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Chapter 3: What is Elaine's connection to the comedy scene?
Yeah, I'm sober.
I've been sober for many years, yeah.
You feel like you're on an Adderall right now. No, no, no, just me.
This motherfucker's the human form of Adderall. Yeah.
That's what everybody thinks. Surprisingly, he's one of the only sober people in this venue right now. Now, is there a drug that you could be cautioned to participating in?
Like, if Joe Rogan came through here and was like, let's do bumps of coke off of Lane's tits, what would you do? Good question. Sorry, that's a bad Joe Rogan impression, but... What would you say, Casey? What would I say? And it happens, like, tonight? Like, it's, like, Monday night? Let's say I call him right now, and I don't have his number.
Let's say Tony calls him, and he goes, yeah, what's up? What's going on? Is there a bow and arrow down there? And he comes down. And I go, yeah, there's a bow and arrow, but the only way to get it is by doing coke off my tits with the newest Muppet. I guess what I'm saying is, would you do coke with somebody if they asked you? Could you be peer pressured, Casey? We're all human beings.
We could be peer pressured.
Yeah, if you guys wanted it really bad, I guess, yeah, I could.
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Chapter 4: How does the episode transition into audience participation?
You're 27. You look like you're 46. Yeah. What's it like being 27 in 2024? It's hard. Okay.
All right.
There's the Pornhub sound. A minute and a half after the Pornhub joke, for those of you keeping track of Red Band in the zone tonight already. Lino, have you been on this show before? Yes, I actually got on a couple of weeks ago. How did that go for you? Not as good. Not as good. Maybe for me. I don't know. Everyone seemed to have a good time. Don't do that.
Don't do that, Lino.
Ever again. Lena, what did we not find out about you in your last interview that would be interesting? What was the main frame of the interview last time you were on? What was the most interesting thing we found out about you? What did I make jokes about, talk about? I had a real kick about my dad getting murdered. Oh, yeah!
We'll be right back.
Elaine is on fire. Now's a good time for me to promote. Elaine, for some reason, decided to plug Adam Ray Comedy on YouTube. A brand new CrowdWorks special from Adam Ray. I don't know what you and Adam have going on, Elaine, but fucking... The way that Red Band is into Latinas, I'm into Jews. I love it. Now, do you mind me asking, what happened?
I don't want to pour salt on a Band-Aid, but what happened to your father? He got murked with a baseball bat. I mean, he got beat up by a couple of guys, but one of them had a bat. Right. And he hit him upside the head? Yeah, a couple of times. God damn it. Do you have the video? This is the actual, we have audio from the, there you go. There was a referee there.
Why was there a referee there right then? It was also in a bowling alley. Not a lot of people know that. Did you know that? Did you know that your father was murdered in a bowling alley? It's news to me. Okay. You probably went home that night thinking, wow, I probably should have brought up something else or talked about something else about my entire life. What do we not know about you, Lino?
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Chapter 5: What jokes are shared during the segment?
Yeah. And that's what you did. You have a third best joke that might hit here? Who wants Sears? I know. I know. We're 11 minutes into this, guys. People are going to be like, well, how did you keep him up here? I don't care. I want to hear your third best joke. If cat has diabetes is number two and I'm 35 hanging out with 25 is number one. No, it's not number one. I didn't.
Because you got to have a killer. I didn't finish that.
Chapter 6: How does Andrew Ginsberg describe his experience with comedy?
I'm just nervous.
Okay, let's start. The third best joke, ladies and gentlemen. Here he is. Try to think of one that maybe has like a short setup and a big punch. Here we go. Andrew Ginsberg. Six years of New York comedy. Supposedly the comedy capital of the world. And here is Andrew Ginsberg, six years into being a New York comedian.
New Jersey, New Jersey.
No, no, no, no. No, he's been doing it in New York. Originally from New Jersey. But here he is, New York comedian, everybody.
Chapter 7: What insights does Matt Sturm share about his comedy journey?
Andrew Ginsberg. Yeah, we already did this. Go head into it.
um well i'll be honest okay go ahead i was saying to my friends i feel like i'm like a raging alcoholic you know what i mean they're like oh it makes you say that ginsburg you're not partying that hard i'm like i don't know if you wake up every single big night you're googling am i an alcoholic you're definitely an alcoholic right i feel like most people don't do that they're not like should you have in a blender last night do people do that what's the third result say on this google search you know but uh that's not fair
This is fucking amazing. Oh. This is amazing. Ginsburg, let me ask you something. I've noticed, and at first I thought there was no way that it was really happening, but I've noticed that you do this thing. You know what you do? No, sir. This thing where you kind of fucking, and then I, you know, and then I ba-ba-da-ba, and then I da-da-da-da. You know, have you noticed that you do that? Yeah.
What is that?
Chapter 8: What unique perspective does Kelly Quinn bring to the conversation?
That's some Jersey shit. Some Jersey shit. Again, no, he's a New York comedian. I want those New York comics to see one of their own out here just fucking, you're on lineups out there, right?
Yeah.
Yeah, up there with everybody else. What's going on in New York comedy right now, right? It's not my best night. It's not my best night. That is one of the funniest things you've said in 13 and a half minutes. Holy shit. We got to get you out of here, dude. You tried your best, though, right? You feel good? No, I don't. I'm sorry. There you go. There's a little bit of honesty in the moment.
A little joke book. There he goes. Andrew Ginsberg, ladies and gentlemen. Thank you. There he goes. Wow. That is what this show is all about right there. Sometimes you're watching the future, and sometimes you're watching the past in real time. Anything can happen. Put your hands together. Another bucket pool. 60 seconds uninterrupted for Matt Sturm, everybody. Here we go. Matt Sturm.
Hey, guys. Fuck. How's it going? I'm getting a little fat. You're not fat. Why are you laughing, man? You're a little fat. You are, you piece of... No, you're a good guy. I'm getting a little fat, guys. I was with a girl recently. She tried to titty fuck me. Yeah, you ever have that happen to you? She was starting to milk me like a fucking ravaging beast. She was fucking pulling my tits and shit.
I'm Matt, by the way. I'm German and Jewish, so I want to kill myself. You know? Uh... Yeah, it's not a joke. What else, guys? Fuck, man. Passion of the Christ 2 came out quick. I can do this fast. Passion of the Christ 2 came out quickly. Mel Gibson announced it. It's a good time for him to hate Jews, right? Fuck. You can laugh. I just said I'm Jewish. It's okay.
How do you guys feel about Hamas? You like Hamas? No? You don't like it, huh? What? I can't. What did you say?
Oh, that's it. Wow. Wow. All right. It looks like Ginsburg cursed the show. Yeah, I know. All right, Matt Shurm, relax, relax. Take a breath for a moment. I'm fat, so I can't fucking breathe, man. Okay, Matt, relax. How long have you been on stand-up?
Just about a little longer than Ginsburg.
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