Transcript generated automatically by AI and may contain errors.
Chapter 1: What is discussed at the start of this section?
Hey, this is Red Band, and you're listening to the Death Squad Podcast Network. This episode of Kill Tony and every episode of Kill Tony can be found at DeathSquad.tv, Apple, Spotify, and anywhere you get podcasts. Check out TonyHinchcliffe.com for everything The Golden Pony, Tony Hinchcliffe. You can also check out ShopSquad.tv for Death Squad merch, hats, mugs, whatever. ShopSquad.tv.
And now here's a brand new episode of Kill Tony. Who's ready for the best fucking night of their lives, huh? That's the best damn band in the land. Brought to you by ExpressVPN, ZipRecruiter, and PrizePix. This is indeed the number one live podcast in the world. You have made it. How about one more time for Matt Muehling here on the electric guitar. John D's on the keys behind me.
This is D Madness live in the flesh. Big Mike, Michael Gonzalez, considered big and huge compared to many action figures around the world. And that there is Huevos Rancheros, Benito Santiago Alhambra. No doubt about it. Raul Vallejo, Fernando Castillo, and Carlos Sosa. They're called Grooveline Horns, a strangely American terminology for exactly.
the huevos and the rancheros that they have cooking inside of them. Before we get started tonight, here's a little bit more from the amazing sponsors that made it all possible. You guys ready to start tonight's episode or what? Well, then here we go. Two of my favorite comedians in the world, ladies and gentlemen. One is, of course, a legendary regular on this show.
The other is truly one of the greatest guests in this show's history. He is an absolute superstar. Make some noise for both of them, everyone. It is Tyler Fisher and Cam Patterson, everybody. Oh, yeah, a whole episode. The very funny Tyler Fisher, the great Cam Patterson. We're back, baby. They are on tour, TylerFisher.com, CamPatterson.com. They've got websites.
They're on the road doing gigs, selling out everywhere they go. Hi, Cam. What's up? I got a website now, nigga. You got a website. I love it. And it is. It's campatterson.com. You were able to secure it. Hell yeah. You went your first couple years with no website. Well, they tried to charge me for it. They tried to charge me $2,000 for it. And we called them to a nice little dark room.
And we got the website out of them. So it's good. Every room is a dark room when you and your people are in it. Tyler Fisher. You know exactly what it means. This guy doing the Deion Sanders podcast in his spare time. I never get an invite for that. Tyler Fisher, what the hell's up, my man? I'm sorry, this is gonna be rough.
I just landed, I took a Delta flight here and I'm still just getting reacquainted. You're upside down. Yeah, it's all upside down now. We're going to have some fun tonight. 279 human beings signed up for this opportunity. Their names are in this fucking bucket. Anything can happen. You know their time is up when you hear the sound of a kitten.
That's their 60 seconds, and they have to wrap it up then, or else they bring out the angry West Hollywood bears. I let this public defender in the front row pick the first name tonight. We're going to go wrangle that person.
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Chapter 2: How do Tyler and Cam introduce themselves?
I think Gratuity is the woman's name that you fucked in the first place. Gratuity Jenkins, head register, In-N-Out Burger. Hell yeah. Okay. That bitch was thick, though. I believe that. So you and an old person, you can neither understand what the hell you're saying. Oh, yeah, I speak old people. What do you mean when you say that? Old people?
I understand what they be saying, because my grandmama was old, and I used to have to watch her when I was like 11.
So I paid close attention to what she was saying, and it's a different dialect.
Like, can you give an example of... Oh, of, like, an old person? Like, what would your grandma say?
Do you want me to play his grandma?
Yeah.
This is very exciting.
I thought Cam was going to suggest it. I'm a liberal, so I can't get in trouble. Hey, man, I didn't mean nothing by it. My bad. I'm sorry. What'd that even mean?
I thought we were friends. You from New York. All New Yorkers are liberals, right?
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Chapter 3: What challenges do comedians face on stage?
A canole, a canole.
Canole, everybody.
Canole, yeah.
This is fun.
Let's look up more Italian words and ask the black people what they think they mean. Hey, mamma mia, mamma mia. What is a rigatoni? Oh, no. That's a pasta. That's a pasta. Very good. Okay, this is a lot of fun.
Hell yeah.
All right. Welcome to... You know what time it is? I used to fuck an Italian bitch. Tight shit? Come on. Hell yeah.
Okay. She used to make them shits. That's how I know what it is.
We here for the bullshit.
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Chapter 4: What insights do the guests share about their experiences?
How long have you been doing stand-up? Hardcore for about three years. When you say hardcore, what exactly do you mean? Is that a taste of the hardcore comedy that you've been doing?
Now, the first time I got on stage to do an open mic was 2006.
Okay, Red Band, relax. Jesus. Okay. No idea why that sound effect should be there, but... Oh, because it's hardcore. Red Band. So good. So good. Okay, so you were doing it hardcore.
Hardcore.
Yeah, yes. And then what happened?
No, I messed around for a long time because, you know, life happens and I can't just do open mics growing up. Why couldn't you do open mics? Mostly I was committed to a relationship or a job, but about three years ago I was able to fully immerse myself and start hitting it and getting to it.
All right, there's a lot going on here, I guess. Okay, so... What was the job that you were doing in which you couldn't do comedy as well?
I helped run the family business.
What was the family business?
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Chapter 5: What humorous observations are made about upstate New York?
It's not exactly pronounced Schnechtadaddy, but I like the way Ari says it, so we're going to stick with it. But yeah, it's upstate New York, not far from the Canadian border probably, right? Probably an hour away. No idea. I turned on Google Maps. Are those proud Canadians over there? Is that the pop that I'm hearing? Nope. Perfect. All right. Is that by Rochester? Whoa, there they are.
We found them. There's the upstate New York people that hate Rochester.
Fuck Rochester, nigga.
Oh, my God.
Chapter 6: How does the conversation shift to the comedian's experiences?
The place is chaos. Upstate New York, a highly debated topic. Is it worse than hell? He was bleak.
Like, I asked a barista there, like a lady, I was like, so what do you, because I was trying to figure out what the fuck, what is it? And I was like, so, like, what do you do here?
She goes, well, I'm the quarterback for the Buffalo Bills. In the off season, I make coffee. Actually, the quarterback for the Bills is cool. Josh Allen. There you go. Not actually gay, everybody. I know who Josh Allen is, and I did know what the bean was. All right.
Chapter 7: What insights are shared about stand-up comedy and personal challenges?
Flag on the play. Lying by the homosexual. 15-yard penalty. They're down. Yes, okay. Redpan. A lot of Red Bull for you today, huh? Jesus fucking... It's like fucking Beethoven on a soundboard over here. You need both hands, Redpan. Anything else crazy, Ari, before we get back to this bucket?
No, just been enjoying life. The fans are so good.
You are always rock solid with your minutes. Absolutely incredible. You've done it again.
Thank you so much. Enjoy the rest of the show. Thank you.
Bye.
Back to the bucket we go. Ladies and gentlemen, your next comedian goes by the name of Craig Baxter, everybody. Craig Baxter. Here we go. Oh, hell yeah. Let's go.
All right. Do I just go? I don't have to... You guys, how you doing? You guys, everybody from Austin? We got foreigners here?
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Chapter 8: How does the episode conclude with reflections on life and comedy?
What do we got?
guy on the plane doesn't even follow comedy he's like this is the place to be then I get here the odds are like 8 million to 1 to be on here I'm from a small town man I've never seen so many homeless people sign up for a comedy show they don't even fit they're like falling out of the front doors over there what do we got here tonight we got how many single people we got we got a couple how many married people alright one group has hope that's cool
You guys, you ever see underwear in your trash skip work and file for divorce? My family left it down by the road. The neighbors are walking their dog calling 911 about the bodies buried next door, you know? They're posting pics on Facebook like hashtag graves next door. Hashtag milk carton kids. Mystery solved. Hashtag time to move.
I'm going to cut you off there, Craig, before the bear steps in. Step on that red X over there. Get way over there where you should be. All right. Welcome, welcome, welcome to the show, Craig. How are you? Great. How are you doing? Great. It was an okay performance. Good news, I have 438 questions to ask you right now. All right. What do you got? I love it. You are an incredible specimen.
How old are you? Let's start there. 51. 51. How long have you been attempting stand-up comedy? About since 2013, 10 years. Okay, where have you been doing this? Under like corporate parties or something like that? Is it some kind of, where are you doing it at?
Yeah, well, Erie, PA, there's not much.
Erie, PA, I know it very well. Not far from where I was raised in Youngstown, Ohio. Oh, yeah? Yes, you know of Youngstown? Absolutely. About what, what is that, about an hour away? Yeah, yeah. Yep, okay. What do you do for work in Erie, PA?
Quality control, food industry.
Wow, what exactly are you checking?
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