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KILL TONY

#725 - MATT RIFE + TONY CARUSO (ADAM RAY)

01 Jul 2025

Transcription

Transcript generated automatically by AI and may contain errors.

Chapter 1: What is discussed at the start of this section?

0.588 - 27.774 Brian Redban

Hey, this is Red Band, and you're listening to the Death Squad Podcast Network. This episode of Kill Tony and every episode of Kill Tony can be found at DeathSquad.tv, Apple, Spotify, and anywhere you get podcasts. Check out TonyHinchcliffe.com for everything The Golden Pony, Tony Hinchcliffe. You can also check out ShopSquad.tv for Death Squad merch, hats, mugs, whatever. ShopSquad.tv.

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28.235 - 30.477 Brian Redban

And now here's a brand new episode of Kill Tony.

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40.75 - 62.286 William Montgomery

Oh, say, can you see by the dawn's early light what so proudly we hailed at the twilight's last gleaming?

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63.869 - 86.684 Tony Hinchcliffe

Whose broad stripes and bright stars Through the perilous fight O'er the ramparts we watched Were so gallantly streaming?

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87.665 - 90.67 David Jolly

And the rocket's red glare

93.13 - 110.245 Tony Hinchcliffe

The bombs bursting in air Gave proof through the night That our flag was still there

113.279 - 169.425 William Montgomery

Oh, say does that star-spangled banner yet wave O'er the land of the free and the home Dr. Smosure! I love you guys!

265.357 - 280.648 David Jolly

Hey, this is Red Bank coming to you live from the Bridgestone Arena here in Nashville, Tennessee for a brand new episode of Kill Tony. Give it up for Tony Hitchcock!

299.866 - 362.966 Matt Rife

Who's ready for the best fucking night of their lives, huh? We are live in Nashville, Tennessee. Make some goddamn noise for Brian Redband. And how about one more time for the undeniable Wynonna Judd. Keep it going for the best damn man in the land. Fernando Castillo, Raul Vallejo, Carlos Sosa, Big Mike Michael Gonzalez. On the drums. Matt Muehling on the electric guitar. John Dees on the keys.

Chapter 2: What happens during the introduction of the guests?

1122.49 - 1137.78 Matt Rife

Take it from me, hip hop entrepreneur Tony Hinchcliffe. In Nashville, I'm one of the most knowledgeable rap minds in the world. Only in Nashville. Anyway. What kind of music do you listen to?

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1138.1 - 1140.843 Ari Matti

I listen to a lot of rock. I like Tool, Disturbed, Korn.

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1141.103 - 1153.897 Matt Rife

Wow. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the world of having a white stepfather. All the white stepfathers in the crowd are going crazy right now. Yeah. I'm going to tell you what. I love your energy. Do you have something you want to say?

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1153.917 - 1161.125 Drew Nickens

Yeah, I was going to ask, do you guys ever fuck to cut my life into pieces? All types of music. Is that OJ Simpson's song?

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1161.205 - 1166.414 Cassandra Ramos

Yes. Cut my wife into pieces. Too soon, man.

1166.434 - 1167.055 Drew Nickens

Too soon.

1167.155 - 1168.016 David Jolly

Is it?

1168.036 - 1168.677 Matt Rife

No, it's too late.

1168.777 - 1171.542 Drew Nickens

Do you always dress like you've been fingered in a Spencer's? Do you?

Chapter 3: What unique performance format is introduced?

2099.432 - 2131.938 Aaron Belial

I ate a Tide Pod. Bruh, God just doesn't like me. He saw me minding my own business and thought, fuck, I missed a spot on the left side. I've been trying to figure out American healthcare and I don't get it. You can get pet insurance for like $80 a month and it covers 90%. You save like $6,000 a year to be a fucking chihuahua. You know what?

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2132.318 - 2145.778 Aaron Belial

Maybe those teenagers with litter boxes in school are fucking genius. People already talk to me loud and cute. They pat my head. I'm gonna get pet insurance and identify as a fucking dog.

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2159.097 - 2159.798 Matt Rife

Ladies and gentlemen, Aaron Bowile.

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2166.697 - 2172.165 Aaron Belial

So if you see my girlfriend walking me around on a leash, it isn't a kink. I just didn't like my HMO.

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2174.829 - 2201.049 Matt Rife

Fuck yeah. The one-eyed king, Aaron Belial, ladies and gentlemen, rocking a new eye patch just when shit couldn't get any more fucked up. This is absolutely incredible. This is like if fucking someone took Dale Earnhardt's car and that he wrecked. and then knocked a headlight out for no reason after the fact. This is just incredible.

2201.089 - 2209.92 Matt Rife

The already broken, the brand, the king of the show comes up, unable to speak.

2210.32 - 2211.902 Aaron Belial

Yeah, I was already fucked up enough.

2213.063 - 2223.315 Matt Rife

Yeah. God already took all the consonants from you, and then he took an I. It's like a bad Wheel of Fortune episode.

2227.784 - 2249.423 Aaron Belial

Tony, I've been to five American doctors in a week, and I have no health insurance, and I quit my job, but I'm able to pay for all the doctors, in cash, just with the money I make as a comedian. I appreciate the shit out of all of this. You could just push me downhill and shut me up. But instead, you allow me to get rich by making fun of you, and I love getting rich making fun of you.

Chapter 4: How do the comedians interact with the audience?

2352.88 - 2354.603 Aaron Belial

I am too young to get that joke.

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2356.068 - 2377.322 Matt Rife

Hell yeah. Well, Aaron, I mean... So funny, man. What else is going on in life? Everything else good? You doing good other than the whole fucking eye and arm and walk and voice and Canadian thing? This is just a Canadian, by the way. There's no real ailments. It's actually Adam Ray.

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2379.545 - 2382.43 William Montgomery

This is your worst character, Adam.

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2385.127 - 2397.482 Cassandra Ramos

Hey, hurry up. I gotta take a shit. Oh, fuck. I don't like the energy. All right, he made that weird laugh that scares kids. It's gonna be good.

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2399.665 - 2408.256 Matt Rife

You look like you fuck sheep. Jesus Christ. No, I think he's talking to you, Tony. Who is that for? Yeah, that's for you.

2408.336 - 2414.644 Cassandra Ramos

Sounds like somebody's jealous they can't get into the petting zoo on weekends. I think he gets in for free.

2418.067 - 2458.256 Matt Rife

If Aaron could fuck a sheep, he probably would, but the sheep's like, what the fuck is this thing coming at me? I'm going to get out of here. There's a one-eyed monkey. Oh, okay. It took you that long to type that? Son of a bitch. I got you, man. Oh, my God. If Matt Rife loses an eye next week... Whoa. Okay. He took away Spider-Man's spider. Oh, that is cold-blooded. I love it.

2459.058 - 2502.52 Matt Rife

Aaron Belial, your fucking energy and your positive attitude is a goddamn headwind on this show in this universe. Make some goddamn noise for Aaron Belial, everybody. The lovely Heidi, everyone, for those of you trying to get your pussies wet and your dicks out of your stomach after watching five minutes of Aaron Belial. There's Heidi as a little refresher of what an American looks like.

2504.062 - 2539.131 Matt Rife

Not a one-eyed Canadian savage. Back to the bucket we go. We having fucking fun tonight? Here we go. Another innocent soul signed up for the opportunity. This is a minute uninterrupted by Jeremiah Maltese. Jeremiah Maltese. Or Maltese, perhaps. Jeremiah Maltese. Jeremiah Maltese. One more time for Jeremiah Maltese.

Chapter 5: What kind of jokes do the comedians share about Nashville?

4374.643 - 4389.535 Matt Rife

No! Garth, what's your credit like, Brooks? Okay, that's better. They got better. They got better. We back. We back. We back. Kenny Rogers Chicken? Nah, I ain't like that one.

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4389.555 - 4395.3 William Montgomery

Thank y'all for having some fucking integrity, bitch. Goddamn. About time, nigga.

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4395.32 - 4399.864 Cassandra Ramos

It took 12 of them, you pieces of shit. The Hennessy of Tennessee.

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Chapter 6: How does the audience respond to the comedians' performances?

4399.924 - 4404.268 Cassandra Ramos

That was good. That was good. I like that one. All right. Call me that.

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Chapter 7: What is the significance of the golden ticket winner announcement?

4404.548 - 4404.828 Brian Redban

Yeah.

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4405.049 - 4406.19 William Montgomery

Damn.

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4406.21 - 4407.371 Cassandra Ramos

The Hennessy of Tennessee.

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4407.431 - 4408.452 William Montgomery

Fuck, nigga, that's good.

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4409.352 - 4409.953 Matt Rife

I like that one.

Chapter 8: How do the comedians reflect on their experiences in Nashville?

4409.973 - 4419.008 Matt Rife

That's good. That's better. That's better. I like that one. That's good. Alan Blackson. Okay. You're losing them.

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4419.028 - 4421.211 Brian Redban

Smash it, grab mouth.

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4421.231 - 4427.56 Matt Rife

That's not even fucking country. Red Band, save it for the comedians. Hit a sound effect, Red Band. Jesus Christ.

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4427.58 - 4429.582 William Montgomery

Are y'all booing Red Band? Nigga, that's crazy.

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4432.807 - 4435.771 Matt Rife

It's fun when you get to hear what they think of your jokes, isn't it?

4435.791 - 4437.353 William Montgomery

Hey, that was evil, nigga. Shit.

4439.195 - 4446.26 Matt Rife

That's good, man. I love it. This is great. You love Nashville? Oh, Nashville is dope, man. I like Nashville a lot, bro. Yeah.

4446.62 - 4455.889 Cassandra Ramos

Hell yeah. I like that. Nashville is great, man. Hell yeah. Bachelorette Party, I said this last night, Bachelorette Party should all die. But besides that, y'all have a great city.

4455.909 - 4483.802 Matt Rife

Nice city. Yeah. Hell yeah. Yeah. I love it. I like it. Dustin lynched. Okay. That's a... Jim Crow? I was just saying shit that happened, nigga. This... George Straight Foreman. Okay. I'm never wearing a cowboy hat again. Matt Muehling. Y'all missed Crip Stapleton. What?

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