Transcript generated automatically by AI and may contain errors.
Chapter 1: What is discussed at the start of this section?
Hey, this is Red Band, and you're listening to the Death Squad Podcast Network. This episode of Kill Tony and every episode of Kill Tony can be found at DeathSquad.tv, Apple, Spotify, and anywhere you get podcasts. Check out TonyHinchcliffe.com for everything The Golden Pony, Tony Hinchcliffe. You can also check out ShopSquad.tv for Death Squad merch, hats, mugs, whatever. ShopSquad.tv.
And now here's a brand new episode of Kill Tony.
Oh, say, can you see by the dawn's early light what so proudly we hailed at the twilight's last gleaming?
Whose broad stripes and bright stars Through the perilous fight O'er the ramparts we watched Were so gallantly streaming?
And the rocket's red glare
The bombs bursting in air Gave proof through the night That our flag was still there
Oh, say does that star-spangled banner yet wave O'er the land of the free and the home Dr. Smosure! I love you guys!
Hey, this is Red Bank coming to you live from the Bridgestone Arena here in Nashville, Tennessee for a brand new episode of Kill Tony. Give it up for Tony Hitchcock!
Who's ready for the best fucking night of their lives, huh? We are live in Nashville, Tennessee. Make some goddamn noise for Brian Redband. And how about one more time for the undeniable Wynonna Judd. Keep it going for the best damn man in the land. Fernando Castillo, Raul Vallejo, Carlos Sosa, Big Mike Michael Gonzalez. On the drums. Matt Muehling on the electric guitar. John Dees on the keys.
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Chapter 2: What happens during the introduction of the guests?
Take it from me, hip hop entrepreneur Tony Hinchcliffe. In Nashville, I'm one of the most knowledgeable rap minds in the world. Only in Nashville. Anyway. What kind of music do you listen to?
I listen to a lot of rock. I like Tool, Disturbed, Korn.
Wow. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the world of having a white stepfather. All the white stepfathers in the crowd are going crazy right now. Yeah. I'm going to tell you what. I love your energy. Do you have something you want to say?
Yeah, I was going to ask, do you guys ever fuck to cut my life into pieces? All types of music. Is that OJ Simpson's song?
Yes. Cut my wife into pieces. Too soon, man.
Too soon.
Is it?
No, it's too late.
Do you always dress like you've been fingered in a Spencer's? Do you?
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Chapter 3: What unique performance format is introduced?
I ate a Tide Pod. Bruh, God just doesn't like me. He saw me minding my own business and thought, fuck, I missed a spot on the left side. I've been trying to figure out American healthcare and I don't get it. You can get pet insurance for like $80 a month and it covers 90%. You save like $6,000 a year to be a fucking chihuahua. You know what?
Maybe those teenagers with litter boxes in school are fucking genius. People already talk to me loud and cute. They pat my head. I'm gonna get pet insurance and identify as a fucking dog.
Ladies and gentlemen, Aaron Bowile.
So if you see my girlfriend walking me around on a leash, it isn't a kink. I just didn't like my HMO.
Fuck yeah. The one-eyed king, Aaron Belial, ladies and gentlemen, rocking a new eye patch just when shit couldn't get any more fucked up. This is absolutely incredible. This is like if fucking someone took Dale Earnhardt's car and that he wrecked. and then knocked a headlight out for no reason after the fact. This is just incredible.
The already broken, the brand, the king of the show comes up, unable to speak.
Yeah, I was already fucked up enough.
Yeah. God already took all the consonants from you, and then he took an I. It's like a bad Wheel of Fortune episode.
Tony, I've been to five American doctors in a week, and I have no health insurance, and I quit my job, but I'm able to pay for all the doctors, in cash, just with the money I make as a comedian. I appreciate the shit out of all of this. You could just push me downhill and shut me up. But instead, you allow me to get rich by making fun of you, and I love getting rich making fun of you.
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Chapter 4: How do the comedians interact with the audience?
I am too young to get that joke.
Hell yeah. Well, Aaron, I mean... So funny, man. What else is going on in life? Everything else good? You doing good other than the whole fucking eye and arm and walk and voice and Canadian thing? This is just a Canadian, by the way. There's no real ailments. It's actually Adam Ray.
This is your worst character, Adam.
Hey, hurry up. I gotta take a shit. Oh, fuck. I don't like the energy. All right, he made that weird laugh that scares kids. It's gonna be good.
You look like you fuck sheep. Jesus Christ. No, I think he's talking to you, Tony. Who is that for? Yeah, that's for you.
Sounds like somebody's jealous they can't get into the petting zoo on weekends. I think he gets in for free.
If Aaron could fuck a sheep, he probably would, but the sheep's like, what the fuck is this thing coming at me? I'm going to get out of here. There's a one-eyed monkey. Oh, okay. It took you that long to type that? Son of a bitch. I got you, man. Oh, my God. If Matt Rife loses an eye next week... Whoa. Okay. He took away Spider-Man's spider. Oh, that is cold-blooded. I love it.
Aaron Belial, your fucking energy and your positive attitude is a goddamn headwind on this show in this universe. Make some goddamn noise for Aaron Belial, everybody. The lovely Heidi, everyone, for those of you trying to get your pussies wet and your dicks out of your stomach after watching five minutes of Aaron Belial. There's Heidi as a little refresher of what an American looks like.
Not a one-eyed Canadian savage. Back to the bucket we go. We having fucking fun tonight? Here we go. Another innocent soul signed up for the opportunity. This is a minute uninterrupted by Jeremiah Maltese. Jeremiah Maltese. Or Maltese, perhaps. Jeremiah Maltese. Jeremiah Maltese. One more time for Jeremiah Maltese.
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Chapter 5: What kind of jokes do the comedians share about Nashville?
No! Garth, what's your credit like, Brooks? Okay, that's better. They got better. They got better. We back. We back. We back. Kenny Rogers Chicken? Nah, I ain't like that one.
Thank y'all for having some fucking integrity, bitch. Goddamn. About time, nigga.
It took 12 of them, you pieces of shit. The Hennessy of Tennessee.
Chapter 6: How does the audience respond to the comedians' performances?
That was good. That was good. I like that one. All right. Call me that.
Chapter 7: What is the significance of the golden ticket winner announcement?
Yeah.
Damn.
The Hennessy of Tennessee.
Fuck, nigga, that's good.
I like that one.
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Chapter 8: How do the comedians reflect on their experiences in Nashville?
That's good. That's better. That's better. I like that one. That's good. Alan Blackson. Okay. You're losing them.
Smash it, grab mouth.
That's not even fucking country. Red Band, save it for the comedians. Hit a sound effect, Red Band. Jesus Christ.
Are y'all booing Red Band? Nigga, that's crazy.
It's fun when you get to hear what they think of your jokes, isn't it?
Hey, that was evil, nigga. Shit.
That's good, man. I love it. This is great. You love Nashville? Oh, Nashville is dope, man. I like Nashville a lot, bro. Yeah.
Hell yeah. I like that. Nashville is great, man. Hell yeah. Bachelorette Party, I said this last night, Bachelorette Party should all die. But besides that, y'all have a great city.
Nice city. Yeah. Hell yeah. Yeah. I love it. I like it. Dustin lynched. Okay. That's a... Jim Crow? I was just saying shit that happened, nigga. This... George Straight Foreman. Okay. I'm never wearing a cowboy hat again. Matt Muehling. Y'all missed Crip Stapleton. What?
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