Why Great Leaders Fail: Hidden Human Patterns That Destroy Culture | Dr. Sylvia Lafair

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King Dems Podcast | Growth Mindset, Leadership, AI and Business Insights 59 min 2 speakers 5 chapters transcribed 1 month ago
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What early experiences shaped Dr. Sylvia Lafair’s focus on hidden leadership patterns?

Dr. Sylvia Lafair 0:00
We talk about telling the truth. What I've learned over time is telling the truth is not spilling your guts. Telling the truth is a very disciplined art form. And I will tell you when I know people are telling the truth or when it's going to get to be a truth that starts to get gotcha is when somebody says a truth and then they say, and furthermore, telling the truth is about seven, nine, 10 words max. And then you say, and now I'd like to hear from you.
Ademola Odewade 0:50
real life ladies and gentlemen you once again welcome to the kingdoms podcast and today i've got with me a very very very special guest a guest i appreciate very much and hold very dear to my heart whiting out of california united states of america welcome sylvia lafayette Well, I have a living legend today. How are you today, Sylvia?
Dr. Sylvia Lafair 1:21
Good. And I'm even better talking to you right now.
Ademola Odewade 1:24
Wow. Wow. Amazing. Please sit back and let me read the introduction that I curated for you. So, ladies and gentlemen, you're once again welcome to another transformational episode of the Kingdom's Podcast and Diary of a CFO, where we explore growth mindset, leadership, AI, business insights, and the healing forces shaping extraordinary lives. Today's guest brings decades of wisdom from psychology, leadership transformation, and executive coaching. Decades of clinical and organizational psychology expertise. Breaching Family Systems Theory with Business Transformation, Four Decades Helping Leaders Uncover Unconscious Patterns, and the author of Don't Bring It to Work, Gutsy, and Other Leadership Publications.
Ademola Odewade 2:15
Dr. Sylvia's work reminds us that leadership is not only strategy, it is awareness, it is healing, it is transformation. Thank you very much for joining us today. Wow. So Dr. Sylvia, leadership transformation has become your life's mission. What experiences first made you realize that human patterns shape success and failure?
Dr. Sylvia Lafair 2:36
Well, let me tell you that I had no intention of doing what I'm doing now. Okay. It's fate has a way of tapping you on the shoulder and saying, no, no, that's not the direction. You don't have to go that straight line, make a right, make a left, you know, fly if you want, but We're going to set you up to do something that you didn't expect. And it started when I was a little girl. My father was in a family business with his two brothers. And as I have figured out, it was a business that was lucrative financially, but bankrupt. emotionally. And what I mean by that is my father and his brothers used to fight all the time. So as a kid, I would hear my dad come home and he'd talk about work and it was never particularly happy.
Dr. Sylvia Lafair 3:30
And I remember one day saying to him, Daddy, if work isn't fun, why do you go? It didn't make sense. You're supposed to have fun. And he tapped me on the head and said, well, when you grow up, you'll know you have to do that. Anyway, I think part of my work today is to help in the business world where people aren't having emotional success. It could be financially successful, but if it's not financially and emotionally successful, something's missing. And that's what fate tapped me about going in that direction. But anyway, I grew up and I became a family therapist, which is a very interesting career. And in that career, I began to look at, in families, specific patterns that showed up. There'd be one child who was a super achiever, another child who, if there was conflict in the room, would change.
Dr. Sylvia Lafair 4:26
be out of there pretty quickly. And I worked with helping families do better. And now here's my famous story. So one night we were doing a program for parents whose teenage sons and daughters were just sort of making them tear their hair out, which is a generational thing that happens to everybody. who has kids, if you have a teenager out there, you know that there's going to be some bumps in the road. Anyway, at the end of the meeting, a man came up to me and I thought he would talk about his son or his daughter, which made sense. And he walked over and he said, will you come work with my senior leadership team?

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