Episode 612: Lori Vallow and Chad Daybell - The Doomsday Murders Part IV - Pet Semetary
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What happened to Lori Vallow and Chad Daybell?
Hello, Florida. Your favorite son and biggest baby are coming home to bring you the laughs you deserve. Everyone likes to poke fun of the Florida man. Everyone likes to use Florida as a punching bag whenever an alligator on meth eats an old person. It can happen anywhere. As a famous Floridian baby, I feel your pain. So that's why I'm coming home to let you know it's okay to be who you are. It's okay that the rest of America is scared of us. It's okay that books are illegal in our schools. It's okay whenever it gets cold, it rains iguanas. I'm here to support you. So come on out. March, I'll be in North Florida. And in May, I'll be in South Florida and Orlando. It's the Invasive Species Tour. Ed Larson, me, is coming to Florida in March and May.
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There's no place to escape to. This is the last. On the left.
That's when the cannibalism started.
Yesterday, what happened? I know you guys are going to be, listen, tell me about it. I'm so excited to finally tell you this. It finally happened to me. I was on my Toto praying and I, do you ever have, I know people don't necessarily like it when I start with anything about my bodily functions. I'm just going to start like, I'm not going to go into it deep. It's not necessarily, it's they just plain don't like it. It's whatever. There's a couple that like it. There's a couple that like it. But you know when you're having a filthy, dirty little fuckers? You know when a duke's too hard?
Lick your lips.
You know what I mean? When a duke's too hard?
Like when it's too difficult to get out or when it's too physically hard? Physically hard.
Yeah. You gotta cook too long. In the middle of this, I black out. And all of a sudden, I'm in this tunnel of light. And I'm going through, I see it come back and forth, like the wash and all this kind of stuff, like all this energy is coming this way. This is your first anal cum, isn't it? I might have been. I might have come so hard that I turned to death. I went into death. I'm death mode. And did you guys know? Jesus is black.
Wow. Yeah.
Really? Wow.
That's crazy, dude.
That's nuts. I thought he wasn't real. No. He was like, he showed up and he said, yeah, me, dude. And I was just like, what? And he said, guess what, dude? Be gay. Yeah. Wow. Really? And he's just like, and then he bent over and started sucking his own penis. His own extended penis. That's crazy. It came up through his robes. You know what I thought was so beautiful? How big was it? Normal. Okay. And I felt like the carpenter's cut. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It has to be a useful one. It takes a carpenter to give a good circumcision.
It does. It does. But then, what I thought was truly beautiful, the penis itself. Asian. Wow. Wow, interesting. I thought it'd be great if his penis was shaped like a cross. It is not, Jules.
Welcome to the last podcast on the left, ladies and gentlemen. My name is Marcus Parks. I'm here with the sacralicious Henry Zabrowski.
I have been chosen as the vessel of the message of sucking your own penis is the only way to know thyself.
And we have Ed Larson.
That's right. I'm still waiting for all the evidence. They could be innocent. Yeah. You know what, and that's the smartest take I've heard.
That's the smartest take. Because he's right. They've only had two trials that they've both been convicted.
Yeah, it was, you know, COVID trials are very weird.
You're right.
It's hard to get a good jury in there.
It is. Yeah, especially over Zoom, especially over Skype before we had Zoom. It's hard to translate all that stuff.
It is hard. So today, we're here. We're here at the conclusion. Chad Daybell and Lori Vallow, part four. We're going to find out just how guilty these motherfuckers are.
Super guilty. I just went and listened to six hours of the coroner talking. Oh, yeah? Guess what, man? Boring? He needs new material. Yeah.
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