Wouldn't It Be Easier If We Could Pick Who We Love? — Dating Questions Pt. 2
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The following podcast is a Dear Media production. This is Let's Be Honest with Kristen Cavallari, a podcast all about getting real and open on everything from sex, relationships, reality TV, wellness, family, and so much more. And just a fair warning, there will probably be some oversharing. Welcome in to Let's Be Honest, part two to listener dating scenarios. Welcome back. I did not take a break. I'm just continuing on, but it has been a week since I've seen you guys once this comes out. Welcome back. If you did not listen to part one, definitely go listen to part one. And we're just going to get right back into things here. We still have a lot of juicy listener dating scenarios to go over and just dating bullshit in general.
And so we're going to start talking about narcissists and basically just how to spot them, what to do. So I had a lot of questions actually about this. And so people want to know how to avoid narcissists. which sort of goes hand in hand with another question, which is things that you can do to weed out the bad ones. And then this one is can't get over a guy who love bombed, ghosted and gaslit me. How to let go. I'm so hurt and so angry. So I put all of these questions together because they sort of go hand in hand because here are the telltale signs of a narcissist. Love bombing is a huge red flag. And if you don't know what love bombing is, definitely look it up. But in summary, it is when a person comes on really strong in the beginning and is telling you how great you are, how they've never felt like this before. They are whining and dining you. They are doing all of the things and you are like, oh my God, I'm in love. I've never felt like this. And then you start to see the real them.
So, and in this one girl's particular case, then he ghosted her, ghosted her and gaslit you. Well, I'm assuming it went gaslit, then ghosted. But so this is what's so hard is they come on so strong where you literally are like, Oh my God, I've never felt like this before. I'm in love too. And then this did happen to me one time. And then it was like one little thing and it was like fucking flipped, flipped. And I'm going to be honest with you. I think a lot of times if they... They will test the waters with something or something will happen and they'll see if they can manipulate you and control you. And I think what happened in my particular case was this guy saw he was not going to be able to manipulate me.
And he was like, I'm out. We're not compatible. But I'm like, what the fuck just happened? Oh, my God. You literally came on so strong. And now you're telling me that we're not compatible. And gaslighting, if you guys aren't familiar with gaslighting, it's kind of a... Gaslighting is kind of a tough one to actually explain. Let me look up the actual definition. Essentially, gaslighting is like turning everything back around on you. So here's the Google definition. Gaslighting is a form of emotional abuse that involves manipulating someone into questioning their own reality, perceptions, and sanity. It's a coercive control tactic that can happen gradually in a relationship and at the abuser's actions may seem harmless at first. So yeah. Okay.
So that's the thing. It starts to make you question everything in your life and you go, am I crazy? Because it's like this way that they like turn everything back around on you and, and lie and manipulate so that then you're like, wait, what am I lying? Am I losing my mind? But so for the girl who, okay, if you can't, if this happened to you and you can't get over this guy and you're so upset. And I, again, I kind of went through this with this one guy and luckily I only went on two dates with him. So it wasn't that serious, but, but I was, it's like, you get so wrapped up in it. And I have experience with narcissists and I still got wrapped up in it. You have to realize how lucky you are that this guy ghosted you and that you got out because these relationships do not end well.
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