From Abuse to Power: Reclaiming Your Life

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Living The Red Life 21 min 4 speakers 8 chapters transcribed 3 months ago
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What is the main topic discussed in this episode?

Sherry Lou Canino 0:00
one of the biggest things i would say to men or women in narcissistic abusive relationships or if they want to learn to trust go be around horses wow horses are prey animals and they don't just trust you and if you can earn their trust you will learn what you should be doing with men or women in your relationship to have them earn your trust. Absolutely. It shouldn't just be given.
Ray Gutierrez 0:30
Folks tell me that narcissists don't know they're narcissists. Can you tell me what your philosophies on the topic are?
Sherry Lou Canino 0:36
Okay, they know what they're doing because if they can turn it on in circumstances when they want to or need to and turn it off, of course they can. And of course they know. So don't be fooled.
Ray Gutierrez 0:53
How do you spot a narcissist? Is there a clever trick saying, oh, well, he's wearing red on a Friday. Narcissist, like what is the telltale signs?
Sherry Lou Canino 1:00
Personally, I would tell people to...
Rudy Mawer 1:03
My name's Rudy Moore, host of Living the Red Life podcast, and I'm here to change the way you see your life in your earpiece every single week. If you're ready to start living the red life, ditch the blue pill, take the red pill, join me in Wonderland and change your life.
Ray Gutierrez 1:18
Welcome to another episode of the Living Your Legacy podcast, the Red Life edition. Joining me today is another amazing woman in power. I'm joined by Sherry Lou Canino. Sherry, you literally finished filming your episode in an easy bake oven. Give us a little bit of the experience of filming your woman in power episode in a very warm room because her air conditioner is broken.
Sherry Lou Canino 1:40
Well, it was actually very empowering. We had a few emotional moments. So very cathartic and very healing as well, I will say. More intense than I expected.
Ray Gutierrez 1:55
I don't find you as an intense person, Sherry. Are you an intense person?
Sherry Lou Canino 2:00
Um, no, not too much, but I, I felt like the whole take on it was a little more intense than I, intense is the wrong word. Sure. In depth, much more in depth than I thought it was going to be. Um, you know, I'm 52. So I told the camera guy, I said, Hey, if you would have got me in my thirties, it would be a lot less to tell.
Ray Gutierrez 2:30
What will we learn about your episode? Why was it so intense?
Sherry Lou Canino 2:34
So, you know, I think some memories from childhood came up. Some things with my sister that I had kind of, I don't want to say I had forgotten about, but I hadn't thought about in quite a while. My oldest sister, without a doubt, would probably be one of my biggest mentors and She would have been my one of my big protectors in childhood. And yeah, just had a few little mushy moments about some things with her.
Ray Gutierrez 3:04
So what is currently your day to day hustle? Your why? What's getting you out of bed? Work-wise or... Work-wise, life-wise, all of the above.
Sherry Lou Canino 3:14
I mean, I have four horses, so they get me out of bed because, one, I need to take care of them, but also they're my life.
Ray Gutierrez 3:24
Are they literally waiting for you out the window? Do you just wake up to a horse in your face?
Sherry Lou Canino 3:29
Not yet, but that's the goal. That's the goal. I need more fencing. Right on. No, they're in their stalls, but...

How does childhood trauma influence partner choices?

Sherry Lou Canino 3:39
Honestly, helping people, you know, I really absolutely love working with people and the one-on-ones it's amazing. It really is. I meet so many great people. And it's not that I work only with women because I don't. I work with a lot of men, too. Sure, sure. But I get to help women just find their power again. Wow.
Ray Gutierrez 4:11
What is your common client? What do you see as a common thread amongst women that you help?
Sherry Lou Canino 4:17
We all have narcissistic abuse. So that's the big common thread.
Ray Gutierrez 4:23
It's almost like a rite of passage.
Sherry Lou Canino 4:25
Yeah. Yeah. It's childhood trauma. Yeah. I mean, so with people, one of the biggest things that they don't realize is that we're getting in the narcissistic abusive relationship. We're picking them. They're not picking us. Oh, yeah. It's a very misconception when people say... He picked me because I'm an empath. Sorry for laughing. That's a little bit of a narcissistic stance there. No, we pick them. It's their facade. You know, I mean, I always picked older men, you know, the facade of like, they're going to take care of me.

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