A strap in New York
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What is the podcast 'A Strap in New York' about?
The following podcast is a Dear Media production.
And you know why you're here. So let's just get to it. Welcome to another episode of Long Winder. I'm your host. I'm your host. It's about 8.30 in the morning because I have a big flight coming up and I just smoked a pre-podcast ritual cig. First thing when I woke up. So now I have a good head buzz and I'm ready to get to it. I made myself a cup of coffee in an I Love NY mug.
Why does Gabby Windey have mixed feelings about New York?
Oh, oh, what a contradiction. Oh, isn't that false? Oh, it should be a broken heart. I don't love NY. You guys know how I feel about New York. I don't love NY. No, because it's too exciting. There's too much going on. And then you have the dreaded FOMO just by being alive, knowing that the streets are hustling and bustling behind you. And you're rotting like a corpse upstairs in your 33-square-foot apartment. And it's like, you know, you'd say, oh, but I like the people. I like the people. Yeah. Because each and every one of them are on some form of an amphetamine, prescriptive or otherwise. otherwise being a Celsius. I count that as meth in its purest form. So it's not fit for a girl like me, but I have to go nonetheless because I'm a business woman. I'm wearing this, you'll see, and I have my Crocs on. These Crocs were given to me by Dear Media. And as I opened up the package, I'm like, I wish you would have given me the 50 extra dollars that it costs to make these into my paycheck because that's where it's coming out of.
And I haven't taken them off since. And then I thought to myself, should I just wear these to the airport? And then I'll have them when I'm in New York walking around. Walking around upstairs to support my feet upstairs in the shoebox of a hotel room. And then I was thinking, I won't be doing any walking around. There's not enough space. No, I might as well crawl. Because you don't have to get anywhere fast in that tiny home of a hotel room. So I'm going to leave them behind. Regrettably. And here we are. But one exciting thing. that we have to look forward to in the New York scene is Robbie got a packer. Robbie got a new packer and we're gonna try it out. It's the little things, it's the little things.
What is a packer and why is it significant?
For all of you, for all of the straights who listen and thank God you're out there because I need every listen I can get, but I understand you're not so in the culture. You're not so in the know of what the lesbians are up to, and it might scare you a little. And don't say I didn't warn you. But you didn't come here to be safe. You didn't come here to be in an echo chamber. You came here to learn about the various forms of strap-ons. That's right. And you know we like our strap-ons real. Very realistic. The closer it looks to your boyfriend's or ex-boyfriend's or no boyfriend's little dicky, the better. It's a bulge of sorts. It's not erect. It's a bulge that looks like said whatever boyfriend's flaccid dick.
That's what you would know because it's never been hard around you because he's gay. So it's a little bulge that you can put on your pants without said dick. You don't have the anatomy for it, Robbie. But it works for us because we both have a little something going on. She obviously has no titties. I'm used to engaging in penetration with the XY chromosome. Unfortunately, this is my history. It's what we both know. So... You put it in your pants, and now you have a pee-pee. The penis of sorts. And it gets me excited because there's a little lump in her pants so I can rep up on it. It gives her sort of confidence. So maybe we go to the Cubby Hole, our favorite lesbian bar in New York, and maybe we bump and grind and really have a time of it.
So that's what I have to look forward to the most. is a silicone made flaccid dick with a pair of balls attached. Some don't opt for the balls. Some don't like the balls. Oh, it grosses me out. Well, I'm here for the anatomical accuracy of what you might see IRL because it's not the actual appendage that makes me want to retch. It's what's attached to it. the brain, the meaning behind it.
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Chapters
6 chapters
1
What is the podcast 'A Strap in New York' about?
0:01–0:44
2
Why does Gabby Windey have mixed feelings about New York?
0:44–2:55
3
What is a packer and why is it significant?
2:55–7:44
4
How does Gabby Windey deal with depression?
7:44–14:50
5
What are the benefits of using Aria for relationships?
14:50–22:40
6
Why does Gabby Windey critique certain music choices?
22:40–49:53