Ep 544 - Autophagy (feat. Chris O'Connor)
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Then you take them off when you get to the... Yeah, sneakers on the beach.
Depends how hot the sand is. The sauce is hell. We going? We rolling? Oh my motherfucking God. Christopher. Off of the wrong foot. Huh? Nah, he thinks I'm mad at him for his sneakers on the beach. Sneakers on the beach is weird.
Beezer's literally the only white guy I've ever seen. I bet. Unless you're a local. Actually, my cousin Frank did it. Yeah. He wore sneakers on the beach.
All of us has one video game cousin who would play video games at the beach the whole time and then come down at like 5 p.m. in sneakers and you'd be like, bro, what are you doing? You're not coming to the arcade with me, dude. That's the beast, dude. Yeah, sneakers on the beach. Are you a sneakers on the beach guy? Uh, yeah, a lot of, you know, because I... That's so dumb. How many times do you unexpectedly go to the beach?
When did you surprise go to the beach? It's not that I prefer it. When did you surprise go to the beach?
I feel like the last time I was at the Danny Improv. I got surprised with the beach trip. I didn't really know how close it was going to be to the beach. And then I have sneakers on the beach. Don't you take, don't you take.
I just got to get this in before you guys attack me. I'm not yelling.
You're yelling, dude. And then I don't have sandal. I don't like have sandals a lot. Yeah, but you take your shoes off, leave them at the top, and you roll your pant legs up, and you walk on your bare feet on the beach. I mean, if I'm really missing the sand and it's a partly cloudy day, I'll do it. But if the sun's been baking and you get there kind of late... Then you got sand in your shoes for the rest of your life. No, no. I walk. I have a special walk.
No, for real.
If you're in hot sand, if you dig your feet under the surface sand, you can get through. When you go down to the beach in shoes, you're literally crushing the vibe for every single person enjoying the big... What the fuck is this guy doing here? It's so unwelcome. I try to make up for it with my other beach activities. You know, I get right into the surf.
I throw a ball around. You're good at the beach.
I'll do frisbee. I'll do paddle ball. You're good at the beach. You're good, yeah. Get me down to the sand that the water's hit already. I feel like you died on this hill unnecessarily.
I'll die on every single fucking hill. Any hill. Name a hill. I've seen him die on the sand hill before. This is the second sand-related hellish argument.
We can't talk sand, dude.
We cannot talk sand. A con man has an intense relationship with sand.
I'm just saying, not everyone who wears sneakers on the beach is an asshole.
I'm not saying they're an asshole. I'm saying they're weird. I'm saying sometimes... If they're what?
sometimes it's culturally acceptable to yeah black people don't like their bare feet on the ground that's you have to respect is that that oh yeah dude so they don't like the sand between their toes not really my wife doesn't like the sand i like it actually like angered me the first time she told me she's like yeah just like i don't like how it gets all over me i was just like what the fuck are you talking about why are you ruining the good thing yeah why are you ruining the best i love the beach it's my favorite thing she's like i just don't sand makes me it just feels gross on my feet i'm like Yeah, I take my kids away. I'm like, don't listen to me. Trust me. Yeah, that's yeah, that's that's something I've seen. I mean, it's literally goes back to the socks of the water park. Yeah, that's why. That's why they're there, bro. They're not. It's not just it's not like a fashion statement. It's like genuine phobia of just the ground. Yeah. Instilled in them by a paranoid black mother.
Yeah.
It's germs. It's a germ-related thing? A little bit. Also, some water parks are just super shitty and dirty. Like, I've never been to socks in a water park, but you ever see those, like, water socks?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Like, they're made just for that. Aqua socks are pretty.
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