Ep 547 - The Bourguignon Shuffle (feat. James McCann)

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Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast 1h 8m 7 speakers 4 chapters transcribed
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Who is the guest on this episode and what is their background?

Matt McCusker 0:07
Don't worry about it, he's his. We actually just took him off a stick in a cornfield, he was a scarecrow. I think it's cool, it's what the kids are doing.
James McCann 0:16
I'm part of the young Latin kings running around the streets.
Matt McCusker 0:22
It's good. It is a Paul Brother haircut. You got a Paul Brother haircut. True.
James McCann 0:26
I was on the phone to Shane immediately before getting the haircut. And I said, the barber has a monkey. Because there was a small monkey at the barbershop. Say what? There was a monkey at the barbershop near where we live. And it had pajamas on and it was on a leash.
Matt McCusker 0:39
Did you let the monkey cut your hair? No.
James McCann 0:42
No. Yeah. The monkey was in the next room screaming and very unhappy. He had like an angry monkey at the barbershop? There were like 18 guys working in the barbershop and one of them had a monkey. I've never seen this before. Anyway.
Shane Gillis 0:55
You were like, that's where I want to go.
James McCann 0:57
It was the most affordable place to have your hair cut in the area. Everywhere else was like, I went to another barber first and they said, you need an appointment. And I thought that broke the barber's code of like, just walk in and hang out.
Matt McCusker 1:07
Yeah. Can I just talk baseball? That was the original barbershop quartet. You would stand outside of the barbershop and dudes would just harmonize and just get down. Barbers used to keep musical instruments in their place.
James McCann 1:20
Just to keep the party going on at all?
Matt McCusker 1:21
Yeah, you would chill and just be like, oh, with like four of your boys and fire them up. For the longest time. You'd be at the ye olde haircuttery and just be like, oh. White people started that. Yeah, true. In England, they would keep like a lute handy in the case.
Shane Gillis 1:38
The barbershop? It's a white thing.
Matt McCusker 1:41
I mean, dude, barbershop, chill culture.
Shane Gillis 1:45
Now white haircuts are just either guys with those mustaches or go to the hair cuttery at Walmart. Yeah. Now we're talking a cut.
James McCann 1:52
There's not a hair cuttery at Walmart.
Shane Gillis 1:54
Yeah, they would have done you better than the monkeys.
James McCann 1:57
I keep thinking of signing up to the Walmart bank. Every time I'd said I went to the barbershop and they had a monkey, people did say that. Monkey cut. People looked at me like I was dropping some terrible slur.
Matt McCusker 2:09
It's not a bad haircut. It's not that bad.
James McCann 2:10
You've got to pick someone of your race to cut your hair. The worst one I had was an Asian barber who had no idea what to do with hair.
Shane Gillis 2:17
It was worse.
James McCann 2:18
Yeah, I've had a worse... This is not the worst haircut, if you can believe it. Best one I had was an ex-con in Adelaide. That was great.
Shane Gillis 2:24
Yeah.
James McCann 2:25
I got a mullet. They knew what to do. They were respectful.
Shane Gillis 2:27
Yeah, you should get a mullet.

What is the story behind the monkey at the barbershop?

James McCann 2:29
I let the mullet grow out too much, and then I immediately look like a woman, a fat woman from...
Shane Gillis 2:37
Oh, man. Well, James, the special's doing great. You got to feel good.
James McCann 2:41
Yeah, man. It was meant to be an hour, and then I had a panic attack, and I cut it right down.
Shane Gillis 2:45
So I'll do another one.
James McCann 2:46
But thank you for having it come out. I drank raw milk, and then I was vomiting everywhere. I know.
Matt McCusker 2:51
It was just hard to hear. You had a bad experience.
Shane Gillis 2:53
I was devastated with the raw milk. Well, that was the conversation we had because he was like, I think it was the raw milk. And I was like, I don't know, I just got raw milk. Matt gave me raw milk and it was great. It was the most delicious milk. I sucked Matt's raw milk down and it felt great. But then he was like, no, I had like seven glasses. Yeah.
James McCann 3:11
I drank like most of a gallon.
Shane Gillis 3:13
The regular milk will fucking do that too.
Matt McCusker 3:15
What did you say? You crushed almost a gallon. It was too good.
Shane Gillis 3:18
It is so good.
Matt McCusker 3:19
It's so good. It tastes like a secret. You know, there is like a thing about how milk itself is like white supremacist.
James McCann 3:26
That's why I wanted the right wing milk. I wanted to see what it was like. And the guy who was selling it looked... He was handsome. He had big shot. He was the only person at the farmer's market who actually looked healthy. Everyone else looks weak and faded and unusual. They're not drinking the raw milk.

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