Being Sick, Why A.I.?, H.O.A. | Thursday Afternoon Monday Morning Podcast 3-12-26

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Monday Morning Podcast 1h 41m 2 speakers 8 chapters transcribed 5 months ago
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What personal experiences does Bill share about being sick?

Bill Burr 0:01
Hey, what's going on? It's Bill Burr and it's time for the Thursday afternoon, just before Friday, Monday morning podcast. And I'm just checking in, checking in on you. Oh, Billy fucking virus. I don't know what the hell, whatever this fucking three week cold thing is. I'm finally getting past it. Now I know what it's like to be like, you know, these people just walk around, they have allergies all the fucking time. Like they can catch a cold and just also have like allergies or whatever. It's a fucking nightmare. Three weeks of this shit.

How does Bill feel about the impact of A.I. on society?

Bill Burr 0:38
Oh, geez. I didn't know what I was going to do. And then to add to it, I don't know when the fuck it was. A couple days ago. I got like mild, mild food poisoning. You know what I mean? Like an appetizer worth of food poisoning. I had a tuna fish sandwich. Oh, Jesus. And I ate that thing, as you do.

What are Bill's thoughts on the concept of Homeowners Associations (H.O.A.)?

Bill Burr 1:04
I had some chips with it. I was all happy about it. And I was like, ah, you know, I got that little nub. Am I going to go smoke that little... Ah, whatever. Fuck it. I'll do it. So I go out on my back porch. I sit down. I was like, I had a cup of coffee, a little cigar. I was ready to go, and I was just like...

How does Bill compare his experiences with food poisoning?

Bill Burr 1:24
Yeah, I don't feel so good. Let me just wait a second here. And I had taken my little fucking vitamins and stuff. And I thought, did I take the vitamins on an empty stomach? Is that what it's doing? And then it's just like, no, I don't think that's what it is. So I was like, I gotta go back inside. So I go back inside. Upside is I didn't smoke the cigar. Or drink the coffee.

What humorous anecdotes does Bill share about his health struggles?

Bill Burr 1:49
I just said, fuck everything. And I went inside and then... I was like, you know what it's like? It's gradually coming on. So you start by just sitting down. Then after sitting down, sitting down doesn't work. Then you start changing plans. I was going to do this. I was going to do that. I can't make it, right?

Why does Bill question societal norms regarding aging and health?

Bill Burr 2:14
So I was supposed to do flappers. My apologies to everybody. Monday night, I was supposed to go to flappers. All right, hang on a second. All right, sorry, I had to clear my throat so you didn't have to listen to that shit, the whole podcast. Yeah, so it's like, fuck, I got to do flappers tonight. You know, I got to get my shit together here. So I go upstairs and I fucking lay down. And then I just pass out. And for like fucking, I don't know, two hours, I have weird ass dreams.

What insights does Bill provide about the comedy scene and his upcoming shows?

Bill Burr 2:50
And then I wake up and I feel like I fucking ate a boot or something. And I was like, oh, my God, this is fucking horrible. I can still do the show. I can still do the show, right? And then I got all achy. And I was like, what the fuck? Then I thought it was just this fucking three-week thing. It's like I was coming out of this. How is it getting worse? So then my fucking legs were achy.

How does Bill relate his experiences to broader societal issues?

Bill Burr 3:18
And then I said, fuck it. I'm taking an Epsom salt bath. Maybe that'll, I don't know what. Make my legs not ache, but I got like a stomach ache. I don't want to get in that fucking hot water. Jesus Christ, people. I was just throwing shit against the wall at that point. And then I get in the tub. I was in the tub for like five seconds. And then I just retched. And I said, oh, no. No. Oh, no. And then that was it. I got out of the tub. and uh fucking oh my god just puked my brains out and uh then immediately felt better immediately felt better so i said all right that's what that was but by then i was fucked um and i've been coming out of it the last couple of days so uh I'm still feeling a little queasy. I'm not going to lie.
Bill Burr 4:15
That's why I'm queasy. I'm queasy after tuna sandwich. How many fucking times? I always feel like if you get fucking food poisoning, it's always tuna. Everybody fucking loves tuna, but I just, I don't know. I'm not a big fan of tuna fish unless it's cold. Like a fucking tuna melt is one of the worst sandwiches I've ever had in my life. There is just like... warm tuna I mean that's enough to make me fucking I don't want to be gross here it's fucking disgusting that and Kentucky fried chicken both of those things can go fuck themselves if they're hot but cold forget about cold Kentucky fried chicken I'll eat a whole fucking bucket I'm fine if I eat that shit when it's hot I don't know what's going on with the grease over there at KFC um

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