Spiritual Whores, Birds, Cleo's Legacy | Monday Morning Podcast 2-2-26
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What is the main topic discussed in this episode?
Hey, what's going on? It's Bill Burr, and it's time for the Monday Morning Podcast for Monday, February 2nd, 2026. Good Lord, I forgot what year it was. What's going on? How are you? How's it going? How's things in your world? Just so you know, do you have a game plan? Like, what are you going to do with your day today? I love those fucking self-help people. They act like they're trying to improve your life, and the first thing they do is they bring stress into it. Seizing the day. To do what? Why am I seizing the day? What, like ice? Am I taking the day and throwing it in a van and shooting somebody's unarmed mother and then saying, fucking bitch, is that what I'm doing? Is that what I'm doing to the day?
Am I seizing it? Why can't I just sort of enjoy it? Where the fuck are you going with your season, your day? Mr. Spiritual, look at you. You're so spiritual you had to write a book about it. You ever think about that? This guy's like fucking or this lady, you know, or the they who writes the book is being all fucking spiritual and everything.
What does Bill Burr think about self-help culture?
But it's like, no, you went out. You went out and got a book deal. You somehow took spirituality. You know, I'm above all this capitalism, communism, whatever the fuck you live in. You're above all of this shit. And you're just going to tap into the universe, man, right? And you're just sort of like breaking down the walls of the matrix, floating along the top of it, living your best life, right? Getting above the lies. Above the Lies and Below the Flies, Chapter 3. Hear me out. This thing, somewhere along the line, these spiritual whores... And that's what they are. Because if you're just spiritual, that's all you would be. You wouldn't in the middle of it be like, you know what? This is a fucking book.
I can sell this. And then all of a sudden, you got like deadlines you got to meet when you got to bring your first draft in on how to be spiritual and be, you know. What did I just say? That's the name of the book. Above the Lies and Below the Flies. Like, what does that even mean? It almost sounds like it means something. That's what you get. It doesn't quite make sense. So that makes you pick up the book. And then I'm on the cover and I got some douchey, like really soft sweater. One of those sweaters that could also double as a blanket. You know, so I seem like I'm unassuming. You know, I act like I'm fucking one with people. Even though I make like children or whatever the fuck they manufacture the book, they make the children work for nothing.
There's a few of them out there. They like get right in people's faces. They start screaming and yelling at them. Like that nine-foot goof, whatever the hell that guy's name is. He's like a giant good-looking guy. Yeah. It's like if you took John Davidson and you made him nine feet tall, you know, and then he yells at you like a fucking NFL coach after you fucked up the play. Changed it at the line of scrimmage and it didn't work and you turned the ball over. What the fuck is that guy? Tony Robbins. You ever seen that guy? Screaming at trailer park people. The fuck is wrong with you? I always look at the people in the crowd thinking like, haven't they been through enough? Why do they need this fucking avatar John Davidson coming out?
Man, I'm going to continue to say John Davidson until you guys look up and figure out who the fuck he is. I want to say he was on That's Incredible. That's Incredible are real people. In my head, both those shows, there was a lot of overlap. You know, like Barney Miller and Phish. They did a lot of spinoffs back in the day. Everybody keeps, you know, back in the day it was called a spinoff. Now they just do a reboot. It's like, yeah, we're just going to do that over again. Back in the day, you moved the characters forward because there was still grass out there in the fields, you know? Now I think we've just told every story, so now we've just got to... You know that part in a relationship where your wife or your girlfriend's heard all your stories?
And, you know, they have... She knows that you know, and you start to tell the story again.
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Chapters
6 chapters
1
What is the main topic discussed in this episode?
0:00–1:22
2
What does Bill Burr think about self-help culture?
1:22–7:14
3
How does Bill describe the concept of 'spiritual whores'?
7:14–39:58
4
What are Bill Burr's top five favorite birds?
39:58–43:58
5
Why does Bill Burr relate to vultures?
43:58–52:27
6
What humorous insights does Bill share about relationships?
52:27–1:00:20
Speakers
2 identifiedMore from Monday Morning Podcast
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