Chapter 1: What is the main topic discussed in this episode?
This is a Global Player original podcast.
Here we go again.
I've looked for vapes in the flat longer. I think I'm going to have to have the baby in Alaska. I've decided for once in my life to take an NDA seriously. Any expat living in Dubai trying to get you to invest in his crypto company. Nina, Nina, Nina. Why do you sound like Nigel Farage screaming boring there? Boring! Boring!
She is, oh, that sounds like the cat's mother.
Chapter 2: What secrets does Joanne reveal about her time in The Traitors castle?
Joanne is back. I'm back.
I am, I have returned. How much did you miss me on a scale of one to ten?
Joanne, I was quite concerned about how much I missed you. I didn't understand it. And then I was like, I just, it just got worse and worse. I think because I couldn't talk to you or anything. And I just, because I was so nosy. But Joanne's playing by the rules and she won't tell me anything. God. I am. I'm I'm keeping that in mind, by the way, because I told you everything and you're not.
Yes. Yeah. No, no, that is that is fair. But I am. I've decided for once in my life to take an NDA seriously.
How much do they sue you for if you do say something?
I don't know actually but considering worth pricing it up I knew something about the last celebrity series within like before they'd even finished filming I knew I knew a really really big plot line because someone was really pissed off and told me about it really yeah so obviously everybody talks a little bit but like no one wants wants to really know like when those pop pictures came out everyone was like why are you posting these like it's a TV show like we all want to actually watch it
Yeah, I know. They're going to. Yeah, I know. Because then if you figure out who's in when and then you kind of can decode what's happening. So anyway, for once in my life, I'm keeping the information to myself. I've told nobody. I wouldn't I wouldn't tell Vogue. I wouldn't tell anyone anything. My mother, of course, Pat wanted to know and then was deeply offended.
And she goes, well, I don't care anyway.
I don't think Pat does care. I think she just thought she cared, but I don't know why would Pat care. I don't think she cares.
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Chapter 3: Why is Katie Price concerned about her husband’s whereabouts?
Poor Katie. God love her. She's saying that he's been kidnapped. She's she's bringing him in as a missing person. And now five days in, she's announced that she has to give up the search and she's moving on with her life. Five days. I've lost. I've looked for vapes in the flat longer than five days. So obviously she knows full well. She knows.
she knows what he is, but she's just embarrassed or she's upset or she's let down or she's, she's saying everyone's taking the piss and they are taking the piss.
I mean, am I, am I the most heartless person in the world that I just don't have any sympathy? My sympathy taps have run dry about that.
Chapter 4: What are Vogue and Joanne's thoughts on celebrity relationships?
All of her kind of stuff. I just, I just, I just don't like, I know that you're saying that. So I've just seen the biggest spider I've ever seen in my life. And I'm like, how is that spider living in this country? It's the heat.
It's basically tropical at this point.
Die if you came in here.
Take a picture of it.
No, he's out there like under, going under the gutter. He's driving.
Yeah, he's massive.
He's on an e-bike going through. He could take the hand off you like the full hand would fit in that spider's mouth. Even my hand. So I know Catherine Ryan saying that she goes to help people. When I went to therapy after coming out of yet another relationship where I was the kind of person who was like helping people. My therapist was like, Ned, you understand we've done all this work.
And I was like, no. And he was like, I can't just tell you, you have to figure it out. And I was like, you're going to just have to tell me what, what is it that I do? And he was like, you go for people that you have to help. There's going for people that you have to help. And then there's going for people like Lee Andrews. Come on. He is quite clearly. Oh, here, here, look at my, come on.
The whole thing just reeks of bullshit. I don't know if she's in on it or not. Um, And I just, I have, my taps are dry.
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Chapter 5: How do Vogue and Joanne feel about the latest celebrity gossip?
I'm a big fan. But, well, the funny thing was that the deeper I went on this, I was like, Yeah, there is. I think even I, who's a bit of a lapdog for stuff like this, think there might be a world where it is, I don't know, a bit of a collaborative effort. I don't know. And then I'm like, no. She looks genuinely hurt and embarrassed. Like I can see it in her face.
And I think Katie can come across as a bit vulnerable sometimes. I listened to her How to Fail episode with Elizabeth Day. The whole episode was basically Katie saying, men have ruined my life. Every problem that's ever happened to me, it's because of a man. So you do kind of want to shake her then when you see her going back into a clear Nino situation.
Again, and I'm sorry to be a dick, I don't think you can blame every problem in your life on a man because you have to actually take a step back and look at yourself and be like, okay, what part have I had to play in this? How have I brought myself here?
Yeah.
Is that Caroline behind you? Yeah.
Sorry. Yeah, sorry. There's a moving house.
Caroline just fell in the doorway of the bed. I actually... I actually... I'm like, are you just going to go out now for the day and just stay away from the disaster? I just don't think you'd be very helpful. I don't think I'd help you on board.
Well, I kind of have to be here because they're asking where... You know, you kind of have to be here just for... Well, I'm here to record the podcast, obviously. Look, there's Lauren running past in the background.
She's doing that walk that people do where they hope that they can't be seen, but they definitely can be seen.
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Chapter 6: What insights do they share about the impact of social media on public perception?
Duffy, another, another kidnapper. We will go back to Katie Price, everybody. But Duffy got kidnapped like for something like seven weeks in 2020, didn't she? She never named her kidnapper, but she said that she was. Yeah, it sounded pretty bad.
Because she came out a couple of years ago and she and everyone was like, Duffy. Yeah. Where's she been? What's been happening?
and she did say I've been I was kidnapped and everyone's like what and it was like if AI had been bigger at the time I would have assumed it was fake news because it seemed such a wild story and then she kind of went away again and now she's back and I think she's kind of ready to speak her truth yeah I don't know I'll be interested to hear what that was all about because that is banana time
Yeah, I don't even know if she's going to come out and talk about it. But yeah, because she's never named her perpetrator, only to the police. Was it someone she knew? Was it like, do we have any information? It's usually, it's usually someone, if you get killed, it's usually someone you know.
On Disney+, there's going to be a whole drunk.
About Duffy? Yeah, but you see, you're right. It is usually someone you know if you're like a private person. But I think if you're a public person, there's a chance it could be some deranged stalker. Remember Jill Dando? Do you remember someone shot her on her doorstep? It was terrible.
There was one man there she went sent to prison for it and his sister fought tooth and nail and then he was released. I think he spent like I don't know how long he spent in prison but a significant amount of time.
Eight years.
Eight years and then it came out that he wasn't guilty at all and he had nothing to do with the crime. It was like it was that kind of stalker mentality where they think they're in a relationship with someone famous and then they try and kill them basically and he succeeded.
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Chapter 7: What are the implications of NDA agreements in the entertainment industry?
I go into pubs regularly, and I'm telling you, it's not like they're wall-to-wall hitmen just hanging out, waiting to get hired. They're snipers at the bar, I've been told. Yeah, they're not playing darts. They're just practicing. Okay, go on. How much for a hitman? Okay, so I would say it's in and around the 20k mark. Pounds. Pounds. Which is how many euros?
I'd say 22 euro. Fine. 22k euro. Okay, Joanne.
Jo, Jo, Joanne, Joanne.
I think it's cheaper. I think five grand.
Sorry, also just to say, I suppose you're looking into the quality of the hitting in the same breath. Do you know what I mean? You could probably find someone in the club who'd do it for a grant. But if you want to get a professional... Do you know what I mean?
Profesh people between three and five grand. The lowest that this fella had found was 200 quid. This kid killed a woman's husband for 200 quid and spent the money on a fake Gucci hat.
Oh my God. That's disgusting.
I know. Okay, so Katie Price.
whoa so going back that's crazy isn't it wild but you know what it is as well I mean there's also people out there killing people for free so like it doesn't like the money it's if you really don't like someone and they're like here would you knock them off for 200 quid some people they don't put any importance on the quality of life
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Chapter 8: How do they discuss the consequences of public scrutiny on personal lives?
I mean, come on. That's why people wait for the paperbacks.
Congratulations, Vogue. It's great to see a lighter version of you. I appreciate that, Joanne. A more mobile version. I like it. Great for the handbag. Yeah. Are we still running around and kind of...
vandalising bookstores putting our own book in front of others because that is what you should be doing that's what I will be doing when I get myself to Heathrow Airport today I will be doing that I'm off I'm off to I'm going to Cork for the weekend not that anybody asked but I'm taking Gigi out of school early and she's getting to go on a little trip with me to Cork well I can't wait till the Daily Mail picks up on that
I look forward to the headline. Vogue is not educating her children. What's Gigi's surname? Matthews. Why? I was just wondering how you double barreled her.
No, no. And I'm like, Spenny's like, Spenny always wants me to change my name to Matthews. And I'm like, I just feel like I have a track record. And if I, it's very difficult to change a name and then to change everything back. And also, and then I'm like, and by the way, I love my name, Vogue Williams. And he's like, you're not Vogue Williams though.
And I'm like, that's actually true because I changed my name when I was 17. But I am legally Wilson, but I use Williams because I was Williams when I was born. You're like Jason Byrne.
No, Jason Bourne from the Bourne Identity with so many bloody identities. Jason Byrne? Is that not his name? Jason Bourne. Bourne again, Vogue. I'm glad you didn't double barrel Gigi because it doesn't sound like she's going to be able to read or write very well.
That's why her name had to be G-I-G-I. She only needed to know two letters really. Ah, so funny.
I was saying one of them. Okay, Joanne, spell caterpillar. Go on. Don't do this to me again. Come on. You know I have a mental block on the word caterpillar in spaghetti. You've had time. Do you know what I've been doing? You're not allowed to talk about it. I'm not allowed to talk about it.
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