Chapter 1: What unusual experience did Joanne have this week?
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have turned into cheese fully. I found a new cheese over here, Beaufort cheese. I smell of cheese. It comes out of my pores. My breath smells like cheese. I can just taste old because I'm just eating cheese all the time. When does it end?
Well, luckily for you, no matter what you seem to do, you still look like Cindy Crawford, so I wouldn't worry about it. I look like a... This is a classic competition of Irish women to say who looks the worst. I look like I've inhaled Christmas through my face. I look like a ferret. I look like I've got gout. I'm fucking disgusted with myself.
I'm having a retreat next week. Let's go on a retreat.
I'm going to rehab. I see your retreat and I'll raise you a rehabilitation centre in Arizona.
could we not just could we not start listen it's our first Christmas that we're trying this can we not just go to the Mayo Clinic you know that place in Austria where they just just let's go there for two weeks and just skip Christmas we're trying to make you relatable you've still got abs you could grate the cheese you're eating off your stomach it's not the same you're not normal did I tell you the mole update I have a mole update it's still there it's still there obviously oh my god Joanne I have to send you the pictures Gigi was drawing a sketch of you
If you feel bad, I won't send it today because I didn't feel great about myself.
And then when I saw that, I felt worse. Well, when you're referencing it in the same sentence as talking about your mouth that you get dogs abused for, I can only imagine what has been done to me by that Satanistic child. We both look like potatoes. Oh, that's fine. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's post-Christmas. It's always a bit of a carb vibe. Go on.
Yeah. A man told me I'm going to have to get my mole removed. He's like, it's going to keep growing. I can't have it take over my face. I don't want to be, I mean, it's at a level that's controllable, but I don't want to be one of those grannies where the kids are just like scared to come over to me because I've got a mole with a fucking plait coming out of it.
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Chapter 2: How do Joanne and her friend address their self-image issues?
Five, six thousand people? To be honest, I'm so brazen with all the treatments. I'd say if I didn't walk on with half my face hanging off, they'd be like, she's getting lazy.
Do you know what I mean? I find it fascinating because she'll have an issue about something, a video that goes up for her where we all think she looks really nice, but she'll walk on stage with lumps coming out of her eyes. Yeah. I don't have the downtime. I don't know the line though, Joanne. What's the line?
I don't know. I feel like all I do at the moment is drink wine, plug shows and get tweakments. I feel like there's more to life. I think it's time. I think I'm thinking of taking up a craft.
You're aware we've been doing this podcast since 2021 and you've been drinking wine, plugging shows and getting tweet messages.
I feel comfortable knowing what's going to happen. So don't change that.
It's just nice. It's a nice narrative.
I'm just sick of it. I'm sick of it. I want more to my life. But in the same breath, we're adding a Brisbane 4pm show on whatever day that's coming up. And I also have... So I'm off to America to try and sell a peanut file. Yeah. I'm selling my wares over stateside.
I think they'll enjoy it. I think they'll wonder what the fuck is wrong with you if you go over with eyes like that but besides that.
It's LA. If you don't have a staple falling out of your face at some time of the day or night it's not. They couldn't be ours with the Salmon Spur and they go full facelift. So 18th of March New York City the City Winery Loft and the 25th of March Los Angeles the Dynasty Typewriter but I'm going over to try and
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Chapter 3: What insights do they share about personal retreats and rehabilitation?
I'd love to. I would always help a friend out.
Awesome. Vogue I did notice when you were when you came to mine before Christmas and you were vlogging with your little machine and I was filmed on the night oh it's in their hand there I was filmed on the night and all that made it to the vlog was my shark robot hoover Did I look like shit?
Was that it? Joanne, we vlogged about 40 seconds of that night. We were very busy.
I was... I don't know if you remember how busy we were. I was present in the video and then I got cut and my shark robot hoover, which is my best friend and confidant at this point, but still...
made the cut in the vlog and I wasn't in the vlog no one can compete with a shark hoover a robot hoover I'm sorry did I look terrible was that it no I barely I barely got you in it no you didn't look terrible I don't know why you weren't in it that's rude I didn't really do that edit and I didn't notice it I didn't pick up on it well I'll do I'll do an entire listen why don't we go out for a day of vlogging how about that huh on me well no because you'll be you're going to be streaming pinafore fairly soon
So let's get ready for that. Where's Floke's vlog going? What's the plan? Floke's vlog. Floke's vlog is on YouTube. Where's your vlog going? What do you mean, where's it going?
Like, what's the aim?
What are you going to do? Well, I don't know.
I'm just flogging.
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Chapter 4: What is the significance of Joanne's mole update?
Spencer breaks a record in the Antarctic, gets 15 views. Vlog just vlogs around Battersea Park, putting her makeup on and gets hundreds of thousands of views. No wonder he's fucking raging. He's like, just broke a record. Saved a child's life. Brought someone back to life.
You always have my back.
I love it so much. You'd never get that in a partner. You'd only get it in a friend. Flo's just like, I'm awake, girls. And everyone's like, stunning. Slay. Get it. We love you, Flo.
float more oh god spenny's spenny's bloody what are they called what are they called challenges he's and he's finding another thing in march i'm like hang on a second here pal i might be okay with you doing one a year but this is creeping into two three years a lot doesn't really feel like this is fair game did i tell you i'm gonna get married this year who are you gonna marry a rag doll so that i can get some press in the daily mail in the states and try and crack it
I have somebody that you could marry that would actually work out quite well for me because there's a lot.
Not marrying Gigi. You're fucking stuck with her. I'm not taking her off your hands. She's not even gay yet. I mean, we're working on it.
She's not even gay yet.
She will be when I finish with her. We're going to turn her gay. We need a lesbian. We need a tiny lesbian in the gang.
amber's getting too big now i thought you were being a lesbian you decided ages ago you were going to be a lesbian do you know that there was a huge shift we'll never get a tv show unless you just start being a lesbian i know we need more diversity in our in our in our pack two white women were really weren't really weren't really not psychos to you anymore now we're kind of the problem really but um i was actually yuck the two of us yuck look at the two of them i was reading this article the other day and it was talking about the amount of
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Chapter 5: How are changing perceptions of sexuality discussed in this episode?
So yeah, so we're of the opinion that whatever we're attracted to when we're young, that we'll just maintain that attraction. But that's actually not the human condition. Which can happen at any time. Discovering who you're drawn to can happen and change at any time, sometimes involving long-held but unacknowledged feelings. Interesting.
Have you ever had a little tingle of a feeling? Because I just, I'm so disappointed in myself. I don't think I have like ever. I've never, I've, I've, I've kissed girls and stuff, but like it wasn't more, it was just more of a like thing to do, I suppose. But I've never like, I just have never had a hankering for anything more.
Environmental and experiential factors, while not the sole cause, personal experiences and social contexts can contribute to understanding one's attraction. It's not a choice or conversion. You can't make someone lesbian or can therapy change a person's orientation. It's a fundamental aspect of identity that unfolds. So yeah, so basically to this woman, you're unfolding in a different way.
Fantastic.
yeah unfold there's more to life than just staying in the same position unfold yourself see what happens I think because your inhibitions were down because you're obviously a bit drunk but that doesn't mean that like you did it for that reason and if you're still thinking about it maybe it might be a nice thing to just like think about again I think it's quite exciting I do think morale between in the hetero world is the lowest it's ever been
I think men and women are straight men, straight women, cis men, cis women are the most confused by each other than maybe ever before. Now, maybe that's just my algorithm. I'm probably in an echo chamber of kind of anti-male rhetoric. And it's not it's not necessarily anti-male, but it's more so the differences between men and women, straight men and women trying to make a romance work.
it feels like we're very, we're kind of more distant than ever before would be my take on it. And I think that's why there is a kind of a, what do we say, a movement? I don't know if we call it a movement of women who have been
up to this point, living life as a straight woman and there's a shift happening and they're actually like, hold on a fucking second, I'm getting so much from this female relationship and then it turns sexy and now they're fucking... I also think that it's because of society and how things are changing and how it's so much, like it was never acceptable years and years ago back in the day, whereas now it's very, very acceptable and it's a normal thing, which it always has been, but it probably wasn't always.
up until like being gay was illegal not that long ago when you think about it it wasn't that long ago I think people now maybe probably feel a bit safer and just like they don't feel like they'll be judged as much by other people safer to explore curiosities potentially I'd say I have a little girl on girl fling in me definitely yeah you do hopefully it's not Amber don't make things very fucking awkward oh god do you know what it will be fucking Amber
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Chapter 6: What does the podcast reveal about the evolving relationships among women?
If you grew up and you're friends with your parents for your entire life and you do everything together and then you send them a fucking legal letter.
What I will say is, as someone who knows nothing about anything and has no inside information, that lad, unless, unless... The Beckhams are... Like, unless David Beckham is secretly Joseph Fritzl, I cannot understand. Like, I look at their life and I'm like, Brooklyn, you don't know you're fucking born. You've such an amazing... Like, they look... I think they are how they look.
I think there's... Yeah.
I think they just are good like I want to go that's where I want to spend Christmas I want to spend Christmas there next year this year that's where I'm going you can go on your own to Arizona I'm actually going to the Beckhams I've decided I forgot about that and they have space as I said they have space but seriously I saw that and I gasped aloud if anyone has any insider gossip I don't even know how anyone would please dear God for the love of God send it to me every time every time my mother does something that annoys me and like I annoy her and she annoys me
And I think if I was to get a call tomorrow to say she's on her deathbed, just say, and like, hopefully that's a long time down the road. Touch wood, touch everything. How would I feel? Like what regrets would I have? You know, all the little shit goes out the window.
why am I advising Brooklyn Beckham on the fallout with his parents I mean I know Brooklyn feel free to slip into my DMs we can talk about this privately to be fair I have got I have got such a streak in me I be sending I be flashing out legal letters left right and centre to my family I be getting onto the guards for a restraining order
I'd love to see you pop that. Don't pop it without filming it. I have a spot on my face to the listeners. It's actually quite impressive, actually. It's just growing and growing and growing.
Hot water tissue on that. Hot water tissue and bring it up and then bam.
Do you know one of the biggest sellers of Christmas presents this year was the kind of plastic faces you can buy and squeeze their spots? Chris Watts' face got one for Jojo Siwa.
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