Double Date Disaster
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What is the opening sponsor message and why does it matter?
Criminal or minimal, eating food in bed. Now, I personally believe that this is in general minimal, but I did recently spill food while eating in bed and it stained my duvet cover. And I'm a little more than annoyed that I have to look for a new one. But I remembered our friends at Quince. Now, if you haven't heard of Quince yet, Quince makes elevated everyday essentials using premium materials, period. The designs are timeless, thoughtfully Crafted and made to be worn and used again and again. And relevant to my pursuit of finding a new duvet cover, everything at Quince is priced 50 to 80% less than similar brands. Why is that? Because they work directly with ethical factories and they cut out the middle people, so you're paying for the quality and not the brand markup.
So at present, I'm now choosing between their organic Luxe Honeycomb duvet cover set and their organic cot and gauze duvet cover. Cover set. Now Kira might think they look identical, but to eyes like mine, girl, they're very different. Quince makes well-designed pieces for everyday living. And with Fall on the Horizon, what better time to replace and revamp? Find the fall pieces you'll reach for most at Quince. Download the Quince app for app exclusive offers or go to quince.com/slash petty crimes. Get free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada and the UK too. That's q-u-in-c-e.com slash petty crimes. As always, thank you to our good friends at Quince for sponsoring this episode and my bedroom.
Your boyfriend sucks. We don't like him. She said what she wanted to say and she got the fuck out. Game over.
Game over. Excuse us. That was perfect.
Welcome back to Petty Crimes, the only true crime comedy podcast that exclusively investigates non crimes. Griff, today's listener-submitted episode will be presented by you. Is there a theme of today's crime?
Double date.
Oh. Interesting. A complex interpersonal dynamic.
Right.
That is exciting to me.
Can't uh can't say that I've ever experienced it because to double date you have to have a partner. Right? Is that how doubles work?
You at least need one couple and then maybe the other Yeah. Yeah.
Like I'm sure I've gone to dinner with you and Alex and then it's been like me and fucking Erin or something or Zach.
Yes. But
it just there's a different dynamic when you are truly like matched up on the other sides of the table. It's
it's true. Griff, before we get into today's crime, I actually had a topic of conversation I wanted to talk about. And I've never felt more like I was back at my Dutch Reform Christian Academy that I attended in middle school. Not my religion, just we lived in Holland, Michigan, which is jealousy. Oh. I I kind of feel like I was prepping a devotional when this came to me, but I was just thinking about jealousy, which is a petty emotion.
Yes.
But I have a thought on jealousy, which is I think it's healthy.
Oh, okay. Explain more.
I think it's healthy to express when you have jealousy and that it's a natural feeling to have. And I feel like there is this narrative now in society that's like, it's not okay to be jealous. No one should be jealous. Right. And I'm like, okay, but you are. So just say, like, I'm jealous of her. I'm I'm jealous of her career. I'm jealous of her outfit. I'm jealous of her face. Like whatever. I don't know. I think better out than it. I d I don't know. I just was curious to hear you talk about how you feel about jealousy and I don't know how you deal with it.
You you just said it towards the end, better out than in.
How do the hosts define and discuss jealousy as a petty emotion?
Yeah. And it is a totally normal feeling to feel. I think some people obviously, because of, you know, I think how they measure themselves and their self self worth, their self-worth, feel it probably a lot more than others, but nonetheless, we all feel it because unless you're Genie the Wild Child entrapped in a basement, not interacting with anybody, then you You're gonna be comparing your life in whatever way, shape, or form to someone else. Humans compare. That's how we sit at lunch tables. Yeah. That's how we choose a coffee.
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Chapters
8 chapters
1
What is the opening sponsor message and why does it matter?
0:00–3:42
2
How do the hosts define and discuss jealousy as a petty emotion?
3:42–6:02
3
What is the premise of the double‑date “crime” submitted by Annie?
6:02–11:56
4
Why did the first double date’s board‑game outing feel awkward and competitive?
11:56–22:45
5
How did the movie‑ticket mix‑up reveal communication problems?
22:45–33:27
6
What dietary‑restriction mishap (kosher vs. pizza) caused tension at the dinner?
33:27–45:04
7
What verdicts do the hosts reach on each participant’s behavior?
45:04–49:38
8
How do the hosts wrap up the episode and what final advice do they give?
49:38–53:40