Why Do You Feel Guilty Resting? Learning to Give Yourself Permission | Ep. 298
episode
PLAN GOAL PLAN | Goals, Transformation for Women, Mindful Time Management, Balance, Working Moms
14 min
1 speaker
8 chapters
transcribed 1 month ago
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Transcript generated automatically by AI and may contain errors.
Why does taking a break feel like a moral failing?
Last episode, I asked whether play can be productive. And a lot of you felt that question. But here's a follow up question that has been living in my head since. And it is even if you believe that play is important, even if intellectually you get it, why is it so flippin' hard to let yourself actually do it? Why does Saturday afternoon on the couch feel like a moral feeling? Why do you feel like you have to earn going for a walk by yourself? Why does the moment that you sit down to do nothing, 17 things that you should be doing instead pop into your head. That's what this episode's about, not whether play is allowed. But why so many of us, especially women in high pressure jobs, can't seem to give ourselves permission to do it.
Let's do this. Welcome to Plan Goal Plan, a podcast where ambition meets balance. I'm Daniel McGeeu. I'm a professor, speaker, mom, recovering overachiever, and self-leadership coach for high achieving women. At the intersection of research, practice, and play, I discovered a path to planning and goal setting that's bold, balanced, and sustainable. Together, we'll reclaim your time, empower your goals, and create a life where you thrive at work. and at home. Grab a pin. Let's get started. So we are fully moving into summer mode. And this is definitely a different rhythm and routine for us in our home. Our kids are home a lot of the time. They go to their grandparents a few days a week for a few hours. But we are definitely in adventure mode.
And yet both of us still have jobs that, while it doesn't require us to go into the office every single day, there is work to do on most days. And so it is this weird balancing act of giving ourselves space to have summer while at the same time. Рекогнізін да
How does productivity culture teach us to earn rest?
We still do have obligations and responsibilities. So today I wanted to kind of talk about all of these things that make play hard to really immerse ourselves in. And there's a few things that I just want to make clear. If you feel guilty when you do take time off, when you do spend time to play, if you do feel like sitting on the couch is a moral failing, I want you to know that this. This feeling of guilt was something that we were socialized into. So it's not just your own flaw that you feel that way, but it is something that many of us have been socialized to believe this is in fact a moral feeling. So there's a whole system of time management that was built around productivity and output, which isn't really human rhythm.
So fun side note from my research. Around toilets, because yep, for those of you just checking in, I wrote my dissertation on toilets and I have an obscene amount of knowledge about toilets and all things toilets. And one thing is that factory workers used to be fined for taking too long of toilet breaks. And that really, so many of our work rhythms were not designed for human bodies. They were designed to control human bodies, but they were Not designed around the rhythms of our human bodies. Women specifically have been socialized to be helpful, to be available, to be responsible. And so rest can feel like you're abandoning your post. And if you find yourself saying things like, oh, I'm gonna do this when things slow down.
Oh my gosh, I'm so guilty of that, right? Things don't slow down. And then you just find yourself waiting to do the things that you really want to do. All of this is to say. There are a lot of cultural forces that we're working up against. And I don't want you to feel guilty for feeling guilty if you take some time away and it feels uncomfortable. Guilt about rest is not the same as actual laziness. Guilt about rest is a trained response. But I also think we were not born feeling guilty about sitting still. That's something that was taught. And the cool thing about that is if it was taught is something that we can unlearn.
Why do women often wait for external permission to stop working?
So I want to explore just a little bit this pattern of waiting. for external permission and how it shows up, particularly around plate and breast. So I've never felt like someone Who needed? Permission.
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Chapters
8 chapters
1
Why does taking a break feel like a moral failing?
0:00–1:51
2
How does productivity culture teach us to earn rest?
1:51–4:00
3
Why do women often wait for external permission to stop working?
4:00–6:03
4
What is the “put on your shoes” principle and how does it work?
6:03–7:52
5
How can you spot and interrupt the over‑functioning script?
7:52–9:21
6
What does a personal permission slip look like in practice?
9:21–11:12
7
How does play connect to identity, self‑trust, and desire?
11:12–13:03
8
What simple weekly challenge can help you give yourself permission to rest?
13:03–14:25
Speakers
1 identifiedMore from PLAN GOAL PLAN | Goals, Transformation for Women, Mindful Time Management, Balance, Working Moms
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Why Doesn't Rest Work for High Achievers? 5 Recovery Mistakes to Stop Making | Ep. 305
Why Doesn't More Free Time Make You Feel Better? The Truth About Time Freedom | Ep. 304
Why Does Rest Feel So Uncomfortable? When Productivity Becomes Your Identity | Ep. 303
Why Am I Still Tired After Vacation? The Rest You're Actually Missing | Ep. 302