We Are NEVER Getting Back Together | Reading Reddit Stories
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What are the Reddit stories about exes?
Hi, welcome to Smosh Reads Reddit Stories. I'm Shane, and today's theme is exes, or situations that are going to lead to people being exes. I am joined by two ex-Smosh cast members, Trevor and Erika.
No! What?
Imagine if that's how you found out.
No, I don't have that power. I'm joined by two friends, Rasha and Trevor. Hello.
Never exes.
Never exes.
No.
Yeah, if we're ever ex-friends, then that would make me sad.
Ex-friends is so much more brutal than ex-girlfriend or boyfriend.
And they don't prepare you for that in your adulthood, that you're gonna have some friendship breakups. It's really sad.
Every story we've read about ex-friends always hits way harder than that.
Yeah.
Wow. Way to kill the vibe, Trevor. Just immediately blaming yourself. All right, I think we have a good variety of stories here, so let's begin. First one comes from Am I the Asshole? My wife wants a divorce because I told her I'll water her regularly for photosynthesis. So my wife wants a divorce because I told her I'll water her regularly for photosynthesis.
Okay, I heard that right. Yeah, great.
But that's not how photosynthesis works. I don't think that's how photosynthesis works.
I don't know how you water a woman.
That's probably why she wants a divorce because he doesn't know what photosynthesis is.
And she's like, hey, I'm a biologist. That's not how it works.
Right, so we figured it out.
Throw away because I'm half embarrassed to post this in the first place. My wife, who's 26, and I, 28 year old man, have been married for six months now. We don't joke around usually since I have early on figured she's not too into jokes and I'm not much of a jokester either. Yesterday, I was randomly sitting on my couch watching TV when she came up to me asking if I'd still love her if she were a plant. So I'm very much aware of trap questions that exist and my first thought was to make sure to give her a good answer. I told her I will still love her then and water her regularly for photosynthesis. I wasn't joking here, although I know it might sound silly. I said it very seriously too. Usually when I joke, I laugh right after because I can't handle my own embarrassing jokes either, but this wasn't one of those cases. My wife just looked at me dead in the face like I said something really wrong. She said that was insensitive of me to joke about and could have phrased it better.
I got a little defensive because I found it absurd that she kept saying it was a bit too much to joke about her question when I really wasn't trying to do that. Then suddenly she said she wanted a divorce, which made me laugh. I agree it wasn't the right timing to laugh, but it came out accidentally and she said, see, you're not taking me seriously at all. We had a small argument which then escalated with her bringing out my past nonchalant way of talking that she said was very immature and not considerate of the other person. She got really upset and brought up the divorce again. I thought she might just be sulky and will let this go soon enough, but she's dead serious about this thing. She called her mom today saying she is considering a literal divorce. Her mom hasn't said anything or called me yet, and my wife isn't talking to me at all. I'm genuinely lost because I didn't mean what I said with any bad intentions. Just when I felt like I settled down a bit, this happens and I'm not sure what I should be doing. Is there anything I could say to make her feel better?
I really don't want a divorce due to something like this, but I'm willing to correct my way of answering or talking."
That's absurd. I feel like that's the answer you'd wanna hear. Anytime it's like, dude, would you still love me if I was a worm? And it's like, I'd make a little home for you of dirt in my house. That's a great, he's like, I'd care for you, I'd water you every day. That's very sweet.
It's like, not only is she getting upset over an absurd question and answer, but he also answered the question correctly, and she's still upset.
Yeah, I'm as confused as you guys are. This almost strikes me as like, did she just want a divorce and she's just trying to find something?
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