"Doomscrolling & Sportsbetting"
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What is James McConie’s on-the-ground report from Glasgow as the Commonwealth Games begin?
James McConey, good morning. How the bloody hell are you? Live from Glasgow? Yes, I am. Hootsman, Glasgow. Love it. I'm led to believe you're over there for something called the Commonwealth Games.
Yes, previously known as the Empire Games. Let's not get into how it all started, that empire, you know? Sweep it under the carpet. The fact is the Commonwealth has 2.7 billion people, okay? Okay, yes, 1.4 billion are from India, all right, and another billion are from Pakistan and Bangladesh and Nigeria, but... There's still a lot of people that come along and compete. And it's a cool event. They've just whittled it down to 10 sports. They've just chopped out a lot of the other sports who probably weren't expecting it, but they're gone. And Lawn Bowls stays. So in your face.
Where are you staying? You sort of look like you're in a Hitler's bunker type scenario. Not to, you know, be negative towards the place you're staying.
Well, I mean, I'm not sure whether Hitler ended up in Scotland. He may have. There's a few different theories around the place. But I'm just in an apartment that's very noisy. And downstairs, the Bogans love to do laps and play some untons.
Do they play it like it's a layer of bagpipe over or is it essentially just the old techno?
No.
Well, who's from, is Calvin Harris Scottish? I'm trying to think.
I think he might be Scottish, old Calv Harris. Yeah, I think, you know, they've got their own sons. I mean, they're definitely playing some Annie Lennox as well, another great Scottish, and some Simple Minds probably.
Not related to Scotland, but have you seen David Guetta when he shouts out George Floyd from the top of the Empire State Building?
Oh, yeah. I mean, I do remember David Guetta doing that. An uncharacteristic match. Commonwealth Games starts today, or they actually started already. The lawn bowls, they got underway. They're rolling. And then the three-on-three basketball's happening. Our men's team are sort of, I think, one of the favourites. And then the swimming is always early in the game. So Lewis Clareburt and Erica Fairweather, and, you know, they'll be in the pool doing their thing. Lewis Clareburt at Commonwealth Games level is a bit of a ninja. He won two golds in Birmingham last time, butterfly and 400 medley. So look out for old Louis Clareburt.
Well, this is feeling dangerously like the start of the podcast proper, so with that in mind, live from the Export Beer Garden studio, this is The Agenda for Friday the 24th of July.
The Agenda podcast, the home of sporting nonsense and claptrap. Brought to you by Export Ultra.
Yes, indeed it is. And James McConey joining us from Glasgow in Scotland. And I did like you were getting into some nitty gritty about the actual Commonwealth Games. I watched the opening ceremony this morning. And my question for you is, is the Commonwealth Games the Olympics for the elderly? Because some of the people on those teams, there was some old people in a lot of those teams.
I know there was some dangerously sort of like, how would you call it, pulling focus boomers at the front of a lot of teams. And it was always like, I could hear the commentator at pains to say something like, oh, and their best athlete is actually that person over there who won the 400 metre hurdles last time defending their title. And it's like, yeah but what about all the boomers in the way they were just like what are they there what are the boomer sports is it just lawn bowls is there other boomer sports floating around as well Archery you could probably do as a boomer. It's not here. I mean, I think they've probably tried to. I can't think if there's any other legitimate boomer sports right now.
There was someone in the Guernsey team and they straight up looked like my nana. Like they must have been mid-70s or maybe late 60s at best. But she was a full sort of in a rest home age person, which I'm not saying is a bad thing. Not that that's a bad thing. But I mean, it's pretty old. Full nana.
Full nana. Did you see the boomer near the front of the Australian team who seemed to be wearing one of those kind of, I want to say, kind of old costume hats that seemed mildly kind of like racist back in the day?
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Chapters
3 chapters
1
What is James McConie’s on-the-ground report from Glasgow as the Commonwealth Games begin?
0:00–11:21
2
How do the hosts evaluate the Commonwealth Games' relevance and which sports feel 'boomer'?
11:21–50:13
3
Could New Zealand realistically host the Commonwealth Games and which city would be best?
50:13–1:00:46