A Holiday Sausage Express Delivery with Trixie and Katya
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What is the main concept of 'A Very Special Holiday Sausage'?
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Hi, I'm a FedEx man. Are you home at 1 p.m. on a Monday? Nope. Girl, this whole fucking country. Signature required. Tuesday at 2 p.m. Oh, what do you mean you're not home? Oh, you have four jobs to try to, you know, ding dong Thursday, 11 a.m. I'm the UPS man. Signature required. Mary, my blood is boiling. I know. Can I tell you what else? What about essential medicines? My arthritis shot that I have to get once a month, I can't get it shipped to me because I have to, what, be sitting home all day to receive it? I'm arthritic, but not that arthritic. You know what I mean? Well, that's crazy because I have my medication delivered. Yeah, but it's a shot.
Oh, okay.
Who can we call? It's just, and then also any package, any anything, it's being delivered today. I hope you're home between the hours of 8 a.m. and 8 p.m. to receive your package. So my luggage was lost yesterday. I had one, my giant drag bag, on a different flight. How does that happen? How does that happen? Different flight. A later flight. I don't know.
Was it you was shy?
That bag was so shy. She's like, I don't want to go yet. Was it United? Of course it was United. You're not even United with your own bags on United. Okay. You're trying to be reunited. I spent an hour on the phone last night with a robot, texting with a robot. I was like, this is enriching. This is very lovely. This is giving me pleasure. Megan, can I have my bag? It took me like 45 minutes to get to a person who tried to get me back with the robot. I was like, not today, ma'am. Not tonight will I eat my noodles. No. I just... I better talk about noodles next. I don't want to talk about the airport all the time, but it is all we do. It doesn't matter where I'm going, where I'm coming from, where did you come from, Cotton Eye Joe? The flight to or from LA, the freaks come out tonight. The freaks come out tonight.
There was a woman across from me. She was an A and I was an F or whatever, so I was across the whole aisle. Because on Delta, it's A, B, C, D. But otherwise, it's like A, L, semicolon, number one.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're really differently named seats. Wait, did you play United? Yeah.
Yeah. Mama, I was in the middle seat in a business class the first time in my life. What is that? So they had, this is like, you know, first world problems, whatever. They had two, so the row goes like one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight. It was a big plane. So there was like four of us in the middle. I don't like that. I don't either. I don't like it at all. And then they had catfishing. They had people facing the other way. That's catfishing. Isn't that strange? That's like when the trade has one of those Bass Pro Shop hats on and he comes over to your house and he's like, hey, girl, you know, pick a storyline, bitch. Bass Pro Top. That's what I want. Bass Pro Shop hat. I like a real thick and juicy. What if I just started singing that whole song?
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