The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Queen Mary's Evacuee Jerk Game with Trixie and Katya
Tue, 21 Jan 2025
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Chapter 1: What is the podcast's theme about The Queen Mary?
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They see me rolling. They see me rolling. They hate it. Do people know that song still? I hope so. Riding Dirty? Riding Dirty. Well, do they know about when I... Excuse me. Peanut Gallery. Penis Gallery. Yeah. When I take my thong off, my ass goes boop. Turn the lights down so you can see what I can do. Cut the lights on. Cut the lights on. She is... I love that. I love that expression.
Cut the lights on. She's cunty. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I also love in that song gossip folks. She has this lyric about like, you know, people trying to talk about her and she says, step to me, get burnt like toast. Oh, love, love, pink, love, pink. Isn't it crazy that Thorgy has been revitalized from the ground? I'm just kidding. Her corpse has been exhumed.
I came back from break and everyone was like, love pink. And I was like, are, what i was like same i mean like we all you know we also revitalized pink now is selling those giant rubber bands pink has oh yes wait she's what she's selling those giant rubber bands to fling yourself around like flirty girl fitness swear to god like trx i'm kidding okay Do try this at home. Could you imagine?
Local woman hung herself on accident from giant pink rubber band. Local woman crashes into barbecue on Memorial Day. Two towns over. The next time we do Trixie and Katya live, we have to do a pink section where we have a fake dummy of us flung.
The whole show is called Love Pink. Love comma pink. Love Pink. Wait, wait. We got to pour one out for the homie. What happened? David Lynch died.
Yeah. David Lynch, a tour filmmaker, head of his time, once in a lifetime, or I would say once in a century talent. Damn. Yeah. I've only seen one David Lynch item. That's okay. It was Eraserhead. Is that right? With chubby cheeks. I watched it in college. My roommate showed it to me freshman year, first week. The movie ended and I said, okay, we are different people. Okay, no, no.
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Chapter 2: What are the unique amenities offered at The Queen Mary?
I've seen the good ones, I've seen the bad ones, I've seen the weird ones, I've seen the regular ones. But have you seen Amelia Perez? You know what's good? This is the problem. The Grinch who stole my Christmas.
Can I say before we rip into Amelia Perez, I just want to say the problem is you and I have gotten so accidentally famous that now when we talk about shit, something in the universe, we will run into those people. So if we shit on anybody in this movie or the plot of it or anything, if we shit on that wig, the wig person will show up next week at a gay bar and be like, you talked about me.
Let me tell you who I'm going to shit on.
I will say this about Amelia Perez, which I have watched twice against my will. At this point. I watched it on Christmas. I know we've already talked about this. Watched it on Christmas. I could not believe how spectacularly bad it was. Not bad in a showgirls kind of campy bad way.
Bad in a boring bad way. Very boring. Very, very boring. Zoe Saldana, Carla, I forget her name, the trans actors.
They are all talented actors. Yes, they are. Of course they are. This movie is the biggest stinker in recent memory.
Right.
Why is it a musical? We don't know. Well, didn't she say that it beat- Tunes. She has none. It beat Wicked for a Golden Globe for best musical. Now, I did not see Wicked. I didn't see Wicked. It's not my cup of tea. I would rather watch Wicked every day for the rest of my life than have to talk to Miss Amelia Perez again. Girl. It is so bad. I made you, I made you watch the CliffsNotes last night.
What I want is to sit with, hi, Cynthia, Cynthia Revo. I want her to sit in a room and watch Amelia Perez for the Golden Globe she didn't get and be like. Oh, yeah.
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Chapter 3: How do Trixie and Katya discuss their experiences with celebrities?
Me trying to hack into Rotten Tomatoes. Tomatoes to make some changes. I think it was Variety or something.
Some news outlet said, Amelia Perez is bad. Why is it winning so many awards? And I was like, that's right. Bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop. Because everybody in the comments was like, actually, it's amazing. I was like, oh. Macy and Theta have, they are so funny in their discussion. Of course.
Oh, they don't like it either? Okay, then I feel good. Well. I mean, the way that they describe- Well, they're more reliable narrators on maybe the subject matter than we are. You know what I mean? I mean, the way that they talk, I mean, it's so funny, their descriptions. I mean, they're like, this is a movie made by a man who discovered trans last week. Right.
And I'm not saying that they're qualified because they're trans.
No.
I'm saying because they were in the Mexican cartel. Yes. Right? Of course. They're both high-ranking cartel members who faked their own deaths and then became trans. I want to be in the room. I want to watch it with them and Cynthia. Yes. Yes. Well, the thing is, on paper, I was so excited to see this movie.
I was so excited to see it. On paper, I was like, what? It sounds outrageous, ridiculous, too wild to be true. And then you realize that the most outrageous, the most insane plot...
Turned out boring. Very boring. Very boring. Like a rat. Searching around for some entertainment. Yeah. And then, to me, the ending where they... Spoiler. The main characters all die. And so, that's good. Had a French novel vibe. But also, like, it was this, like, overwrought, drawn-out shootout scene. And, like... But no one gets shot. No one gets shot.
And then they end up in a car with she's in the trunk and then she's misgendered and then they follow the cliff and then boom.
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Chapter 4: What are their thoughts on the movie Amelia Perez?
But with me, I have some kind of weird impossible because even when I got horribly thin, I didn't feel like Miss Thing. Yeah. It's all made up in your mind.
But we were talking about how when you're young and gay, when you're young and straight, like athleticism, peewee football, you know, like that's probably the first time you come into your body and like your male body is celebrated and you can excel at something with sports and like, you can also build a foundation. Right.
But when you're gay from an early age, the way you walk, the way you're not athletic enough, your body is, you're constantly told when you're young, like, Your body's not what a boy's body is supposed to be doing or looking like. And so you start out base level like, I don't have a good, I'm not good. I know.
Well, that's why I'm so jealous of all these like newer fags, you know, the next generation of fags.
Oh, they've got it all. They got it all. First of all, they have hardly, this is a huge generalization that is patently untrue, but I'm going to say it anyways. I've, you know, Jennifer Z and Jennifer Alpha, they like, they don't have nearly enough, like nearly as much sexual hangups. They're just gay. Bloop.
They're just gay. Blue. You know what I mean? Or they're doing, doing sapphic and or a man on man activities, but not even feeling the need to come out or identify. Love it. Love it. Love it. Cause you know what I hate? I hate when I'm like, Oh, I slept with a straight guy. I'd be like, if you slept with him, he wasn't straight. I'm like, yeah. If I fucked a pussy, am I straight? Exactly.
People really need to run this through. So I ate some pussy lips last night. Am I a straight man? No. Am I Bruce Willis? I'm talking about the way they identify. Am I Steven Seagal? Right. No. You like Steven Seagal? I don't. I do like when he beats the shit out of people. Back in the day. Now he's a little crazy.
Crazy.
But I just, I love that.
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Chapter 5: How do Trixie and Katya feel about the musical aspect of Amelia Perez?
Mama, she's got support.
She's misfollowed through. Misfollowed through. I miss Flake City. Flake City Roller. Cook my meat. Yeah. It's like, when I tell you I will do something, baby, you better be sure I won't do it. Yeah. When I tell you I'll do it, I will mean if someone stand next to me with a gun and forces me to do it. And six months later after they ask me. After they ask.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, so final thoughts. Amelia Perez, we got some explaining to do. My apologies to Carlos Sofia Garcon. I don't know what, that is not her name.
As well as Miss Zoe.
Yeah, listen, I would like to go on record and please this is sincere. I don't mean any disrespect to the talents of these actors. I do, however, wish this director a very bad day. And I hope that he does not win any awards.
That's it Art is subjective that's my opinion I've made shitty art so bloop Tea So we're not case makers who cares No but I am a taste I got an eye for fashion And you're kind of a know it all bitch I'm a pick me girl I just think, I think that Miss DMV could use like reform and defund.
It's a government agency. They're on their own time. I love it. Like at the post office. Oh, I love this. Went to the post office the other day, waiting for about three days, three and a half days. And then I get to the, I get to the counter and they're like, close it right in my face. I was like, work, work deep or don't work. That pisses me off. Cunty, love that shit.
Well, post office also like it's scalable. If you go to a small town post office, the post office in Provincetown, they're so sweet. Oh my God. Crudite. Oh, you have a postcard to send? Can I eat you out? LA.
You have a package?
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