Chapter 1: What makes a PowerPoint presentation boring?
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Chapter 2: What was the asteroid YR24's initial threat level?
His client is me, basically. His client looks like me. And he's talking to a girl who's probably no older than 21 years old. He's probably in his 40s, I would imagine. And there is zero chance that this guy is going to walk away with any of these girls' phone numbers. They're entirely too young and pretty. Not the real ones. Yeah, not the real ones.
That's true. After our training, once you have memorized the process, you will then be able to go out on your own and, quote, rinse and repeat.
Chapter 3: Why did the asteroid YR24 change from a threat to no threat?
Again, it's just like me being a master chef and or cook and or baker, etc. And you, etc., etc., etc., etc., etc.
The next episode of The Commercial Break starts now. It's 30 in the morning! Oh, yeah, cats and kittens. Welcome back to The Commercial Break. I'm Brian Green. This is my dear friend and the co-host of this show, Kristen Joy Hoadley. Best to you, Kristen. Best to you, Brian.
Chapter 4: What are the consequences of an asteroid hitting Earth?
Best to you out there in the podcast universe. Thanks for joining us on this episode number 703,000. Thank you very much. Chrissy, I was going to share with you this week that there is an asteroid headed to Earth that is probably going to mean certain doom for all of humanity. It's called Asteroid YR24 because it was found in the later part of November of 2024.
And scientists were telling us that it had a not zero chance. of finding its way to Earth or our moon. So in the direct path of Earth or the moon. Now, you're wondering to yourself, if you do the math just a little bit, there should be a zero chance or a 100% chance that something should hit the Earth, not a 1% chance. It was like 1% or 2%, 3% at some point.
Chapter 5: How do pickup artists present their techniques?
So I was going to tell you this so that we could all freak out and hide under our beds and make good on the last six years of living here on Earth. But... I just read that it's now a 0% chance that it's going to hit Earth. So that is good news. You heard it here last, the commercial break, keeping you informed about all the comings and goings of the asteroids circling around Earth.
Just last night, I read that it is no longer a threat to humanity. That's good news. This was a football field-sized asteroid that would have created a crater a mile wide and a lot of drama for those living in or around that particular asteroid. That, to me, is some of the scariest type of apocalyptic visions that you could have.
Accelerationism and something coming from outer space, whether it be aliens or a rock hitting Earth and then certain destruction for all of us.
Chapter 6: What are the common flaws in pickup artist presentations?
Think about this. I want everybody to take a deep breath, driving in your car, at work, having sex with your girlfriend because we are the best podcast to have sex to. And to sleep to. And to sleep to. Probably more to sleep to. But okay, if you're having sex then. I want everyone to take a deep breath and then I want you to think about this for a second.
For months and months and months, we look up in the night sky, maybe even the day sky, and we see a growing object. getting bigger than our moon as every day goes by fiery ball from hell coming toward us. And we have no choice, but to suffer the consequences of certain doom, like a black cold night for many, many months until we die of starvation.
Chapter 7: What is the significance of 'et cetera' in communication?
That to me is the scariest kind of apocalyptic vision because we will see it coming and we will see it coming for a long time. And we will have not, there will be nothing that we can do. Hmm. Unless Bruce Willis can get back on the horse and ride again. Do you know what I'm saying? That's the only way. And scientists have done that too. NASA has done this. They have... Effective.
Chapter 8: How can one improve their dating skills effectively?
Yes, they have moved an asteroid off its course. But that asteroid was like many, many, many, many, many thousands of miles away. And they were saying that if this particular asteroid, YR24, I-K-N-Y-K-D-Y-N-O-24 – If that asteroid was on its way to Earth, then we did not have time to do anything about it. The time had already passed. So we were fucked.
Yeah, six years apparently is not enough time to get that asteroid diversion machine up there. And we would really have to do something like drastic, go put a nuclear bomb on it and hope that that diverts it, explodes it, whatever it is. And so this, for at least a week, was scaring the shit out of me. I was having nightmare visions in my bed. Like, wow, my kids aren't that old.
And we're all going to have to watch as the sky gets dark and we just wait for D-Day to come along. That's crazy to think about. Yes, it is. And so, you know, I was... I was all nerved up. I was ready to, you know, go to the red light district, spend the rest of my money, buy Bitcoin. Create an NFT. Create an NFT. Build that bunker. I'm going back to Tulum. Yeah, no shit. What do you do?
There's six years left. What do you do? I don't know. That's wild. Well, first of all. The earth is full of people that aren't well. And so if we really have six years left, I know that it's going to be a total shit show. It would be nuts. If someone came on the radio today or the tele radio, we've been talking about this all week off air.
Anyway, I don't want to I don't want to knock radio because, you know, we work for a radio network. It's already not. We work for a radio network. It's already knocked. Yeah, it's it's it's struggling as we don't need to kick it. We don't need to kick it while it's down. So but if someone came on the television today and they said, you know, president or whoever, and he said, Bitcoin, asteroid.
If Trump came on today and said, unfortunately, we have figured out through mathematical calculations that I clearly did not do, that asteroid is headed straight for Pittsburgh and we're all fucked, right? It wouldn't take 24 hours. before everybody was going loony fucking tune around the world.
So for that reason alone, I am sus about this particular article that says it's no longer a threat because I think that people in charge may know better than to actually say that out loud. Yeah, like Paradise, they're secretly pulling people into a bunker. We need to check in with Neil deGrasse. Neil won't come on the show. I've asked him a couple of times. God, I love that man.
He said, I'll think about it next time I'm out there doing podcasts. And that was two years ago. Yeah. That's two years ago. I'd love to have Neil on. Oh, my God. He's so fascinating. This is a safe place for you, bro. I'd love to hear anything you have to say. You would improve the intelligence of this show by a thousand just by logging on. Exactly. That's it. That's all you need to do.
But you have to think about that. When there is someone saying there is a 1% to 3% chance that an asteroid is going to hit the Earth in 2032, and then days later they say, oh, no, just kidding, it's 0%. 0% chance. Now, I agree. It is either 0% or 100%. You do the calculations. How is it 1%?
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