Gift Of Love Made By (a Hairy) Hand!
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What is the premise of 'Gift Of Love Made By (a Hairy) Hand'?
And welcome back to WSHIT. Each year on Valentine's Day, as a public service to the community of Crabapple, WSHIT provides airtime for the Crabapple Middle School students to say a few nice Valentine's Day words to their teachers. Next up is Billy. He's in 6th grade, and here's his Valentine's Day video message to Mrs. Briona.
Hi, baby girl. Everything's okay, I promise. I forgive you. It's okay, don't worry about it. Everything's gonna be okay. I love you. I love you so much. I love you more than there are grains of sand. On every beach. Oh, Billy. Billy, I think we should stop while we're ahead. What do you think? Every galaxy of the universe. I need you in my life. I need you more than humans need water and food to survive. You mean more to me.
Does anyone have Billy's parents' phone number?
You mean more to me than just anything. You mean more to me than golden diamonds.
I think Billy has said enough, don't you?
To the greediest burglar. And you're just the most perfect, most beautiful girl in all of the world.
Okay, Jim in control room, let's go ahead and cut it. I hope you enjoy watching this baby girl. Oh dear.
See you at school tomorrow, baby girl. I love you.
Well, it seems like Billy's got a growing affection for his teacher. We'll make sure Billy gets an ankle monitor, and then we'll be back to this episode of The Commercial Break.
On this episode of The Commercial Break...
But here's where it got terrible. As I was flipping through the pictures, looking at the photographs, getting myself all excited, I realized that she was not the person taking the photographs. Like, this was before iPhones had that capability. And on one of the photographs, there was a mirror behind her, and you could see the flash and the hand of a man. So I was like, oh, well, thanks.
These weren't meant for me. This was someone else taking nude photographs of you. Thanks.
The next episode of The Commercial Break starts now.
Oh, yeah, cats and kittens, welcome back to The Commercial Break. I'm Brian Greene. This is the Casanova. To my salt bae, Kristen Joy Hoadley. Best to you, Kristen.
Best to you, Brian.
And best to you out there in the podcast universe. And happy Valentine's Day to those who do, to those who partake, to those who believe in love, in romance, in wooing the one you care about. Congratulations to you. I hope you're doing something special for this day. Though Astrid and I do not make a big deal out of Valentine's Day.
We don't either.
Yeah, I find it to be a hallmark card kind of day. You know what I'm saying?
Every day is Valentine's Day.
Every day should be Valentine's Day. But I forget most of the days like I do on Valentine's Day. Now that I have daughters, though, I don't forget Valentine's Day. I do believe every woman should get flowers on Valentine's Day. So I make it a point of going to the store, even if it's just the cheapy roses. And I go and I get my daughters some flowers and I give them a little card and a kiss and a hug. And I tell them how beautiful they are and how wonderful they are and how smart they are and how boys... Drill and girls rule. So don't even think about it. There's like a little boy who's on a face. I don't want to get into all the details because my wife hates when I give details about the family.
But there's like a little boy who's been showing up on some WhatsApp phone video phone calls attached somewhere to the family. And I feel like there's a little setup going on here. Do you know what I'm saying? Uh-huh. And so I am very upset about this. Now, both of these children aren't even old enough to speak full sentences yet, but I'm very upset. I am very protective already.
I'm not surprised.
I am not ready for any of this. I'm not ready for it. So just give me five to ten decades, and I certainly will consider... allowing my daughters to date another boy. I should be the most important man in their life.
Oh, you always will be.
For at least a little longer, for at least a little longer. But then I was reading, and I know this is not Valentine's Day talk, but let me, let's have a conversation. I was reading that now 15 to 17% of women, and a study done across the world, 15 to 17% of girls, excuse me, are getting their periods by the age of nine. Hmm. Nine. Wow. Nine. That's incredible.
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