Chapter 1: What strange beliefs about aliens are discussed in this episode?
I don't know what to say. So I'm hoping that the tone of my voice makes you think that I do. Okay, sweetie. Thanks, Tess.
On this episode of The Commercial Break. A little dark. No, keeping you from bad things or keeping you from good things. I'm not really sure, but it was really fucking weird. Keeping me from Raphael is right. Yes. Maybe I was having a moment of interlockery, sexual, whatever they fucking call it. Maybe he's like, don't go out there. You'll be filled with sperm. Your life will be changed forever.
The next episode of the commercial break starts now. Welcome back to the commercial break. I'm Brian Green. This is the Pence to my Harris. Kristen Joy. Best to you, Kristen.
Best to you, Brian.
Best to you out there in the podcast universe. I think an appropriate opening for the show today is the aliens. Aliens. Aliens clip or the aliens drop because we will be talking about aliens most of the episode.
Yay.
You know, one of our most popular episodes by views and by downloads is the guy from ITV. Remember the morning show? I love that crew. Holly and whatever his name were. Yeah. Until he got until he started dating a 17 year old intern and forgot, failed to tell anybody about it.
But anyway, so one of the morning show clips that we did from ITV was a guy who had sex with aliens and then claimed he had millions of space babies. And he was visiting them all on a regular basis.
They were in pods in space.
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Chapter 2: How did the hosts react to the ITV Morning Show segment?
But I guess that's the joke, right? The joke is we think it's serious or we want you to think we're serious. But they're always giving sly looks on the side. They're really good at what they do, actually. I'm sad to see them go. But I guess at some point you got to bring in the new blood. And I've watched the new blood. It's not it's not. But listen, maybe it just takes time.
Like, you know, you and I, it only took us 500 episodes to figure out what was funny and what was not. And I think some people would argue that we still haven't gotten that.
That's right.
But when you listen, you do six to seven hours of content a week and then you tell me how easy it is to be funny. That's my favorite thing when people are like, oh, you do a comedy podcast. So.
yeah we're gonna comedy you can tell a joke and i'm like yeah i can tell a joke i'm grandpa i'm grandpa joke master like it's not a stand-up comedy no no improv we're just riffing off each other we'll see when we stand up to do our show live that's true dania beach improv we're gonna have a lot of funny bone yeah oh yeah we're gonna have crowd in our i'm actually gonna ask the crowd to do the show on our behalf exactly
I get why people do crowd interaction. It kills time. It just kills time. All you got to do is talk to people. Listen, love or hate Matt Reif. And I stand on the fence about it. I've seen a lot of stuff where I do laugh out loud. I think he's pretty funny. He's obviously got a great sense of humor and very quick at it, too.
And then I've seen some stuff where I'm like, you're just trying a little bit too hard. But he's a young kid and he's trying to make his way in the comedy world and whatever. Anyway, I did see like a crowd interaction that he did. It's like a five minute TikTok video where he did. And it had me laughing so fucking hard.
hard two people in the front of the crowd let me just give you like the specs on it two people right in the front he's you jump into the video and he's already asking them questions and he's like so is this your wife and they said yeah we're recently married and he goes oh they're recently married the whole crowd goes crazy how long you guys been married and he said this time 10 days and he goes this time 10 days what do you mean this time and they're like oh we used to be married then blah blah blah you know i've got divorce like your parents you know and now we got remarried we've been together you know again for two years just got recently married and
And then he says, well, what broke you up the first time? And the lady goes, ask him. And he goes, well, I went to a high school reunion and I ended up fucking one of my old flames. And then he's like, you fucked the old flame. And everyone goes crazy. And then he goes, yeah, but ask her what she did. And she goes, I fucked my divorce attorney.
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Chapter 3: What are the claims about having sex with aliens?
I said, you're a living legend. And Astrid goes, does that mean you think she's old? And I go, no. But it might sound like I think she's old. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to say it like that. I thought it was a compliment. It was a compliment. It was the highest compliment that I could pay. I really do.
I mean, it's not like she can get away from her age. It's all over the place. And she's been in so many movies, so many great movies. And that was part of the legend.
Yeah, that was part of the legend part is that she's been in her body of work is literally her body and her body of work have literally been in so many movies. And she's not only to me physically gorgeous, but then she is whip smart. And I really enjoyed the conversation.
She's got a lot of
substance gina is one of those people where i you know we've done not a lot of interviews but we're getting there we're you know we're building up a nice little rapport of interviews and i'm feeling more more comfortable talking to whoever comes on the screen but you still get a little nerves around individual personalities because we've had a few people come in and what you saw was what you got but not necessarily like in a surprising way like oh okay that's where they're going to go with this
The schticked, it's not, either it's not a schticked or the schticked continues, one of the two. But Gina was like, and I built up a little bit of nerves, feeling like every single, not every single, but 90% of her characters are sultry, sassy, smart, but like, you know, smart assy also. So I felt like, oh, is that like the... Could that be her personality in real life? It was not.
She was very pleasant and really easy to talk to. So thanks, Gina, for coming out. And I just wanted to mention that because Borderlands comes out today. Borderlands based on the best-selling video game series Borderlands. Kevin Hart.
There's so many people.
Gina Kershaw. Yeah. Jamie Lee Curtis. Cate Blanchett. Cate Blanchett. Jack Black. And so many others are in there. There's a lot of folks in that movie. So if you're interested in that kind of thing, go watch it. Oh, and your movie theaters. Thank you very much. So we're coming to the end of the Olympics, sad to say, because I've really been enjoying all of this.
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Chapter 4: What is the significance of sleep paralysis in the conversation?
long to be able to even think about being in sync but this was a person on their own and she got up on her hands and and did the dot like she stood on her hand yeah that's the thing other people were just doing it where they were just you know standing and then diving but this girl i mean she just got on her hands on this little ledge yes and put her feet directly like body walk their hands and then stand on it and then you so the commentator was saying and i've seen
I mean, people who do yoga can't do that.
I know. And this is the thing that they do to add a degree of difficulty, obviously. Try to jump off a three-meter diving board because you say to yourself, oh, that's not – fuck no, you can't do that. Go up to a three-meter diving board, especially if you have any kind of fear of heights. Go up on a three-meter diving board. And tell me it doesn't look scary looking down at that water.
I have dove off of three meter diving boards and it took like minutes for me to get up the courage. I was just scared shitless. I have been up to the top of a 10 meter diving board because I, you know, again, Brian, someone challenges Brian's fear of heights and I have to show everybody that my balls are bigger than my fear. I didn't even get halfway out to the ledge and I turned back.
I was like, no fucking.
In your head, you know, if you hit the water the wrong way, it's like cement. Yeah.
Yes, and controlling your body all the way down to the bottom is not as easy as it seems.
Yeah, it's like very seamless with the whoosh. Just a tiny little splash.
They're getting like deducted points because there's a little tiny splash. And those Chinese divers, they make the water disappear like you're going into, like one of the commentators said, you're going into quicksand. It's fucking weird, dude. It's just weird.
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Chapter 5: What humorous anecdotes are shared about alien encounters?
And thank God for it. It's kind of occupied most of the summer. I can otherwise not be depressed about everything else in my life because I... I know, I thought the same thing the other day.
I was like feeling kind of a little melancholy about something. And then I was like, wait, let me turn on the Olympics.
Turn on those Olympics. Get in a good mood. See what the best, see what it's like to actually have a body that works. Not a body that fails me after 15 minutes of sleep. And I wake up and I'm like, oh, my back. Oh, my hip. Oh, I got to pee for the 15th time. Oh, one of my kids' knees is in my balls. These people are like highly finely tuned machines.
Even if they hurt something, they get right back out there.
Yeah, the doctor shoots them up with something and they're right back out there.
Yeah, they're on tape and a shot in there.
Doctor shoots me up with cortisone the other week. I feel like I have to take a nap for five days. I know. I do. It's crazy. But you were saying about the synchronized diving. I think I said this on an episode you may or may not ever hear, but those synchronized divers are insane.
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Chapter 6: How do the hosts critique the lack of evidence for alien interactions?
Astrid and I cannot hold hands.
together walking down the street without changing position four times because we can't figure it out how are they doing that and you know they talk to each other under their breath they're like ready yeah yes do the count one yeah two three but it never starts on three then they take a beat and then there's like four bounces and then they do it it's like what clock are they using because of on mine if you go one two three you just bounce on three yeah but no
It's like a song going on in their head that only they understand. It's really quite fascinating and amazing. And I'll be sad to see it come to an end, but at least I got it forever and ever. I haven't watched half the sports I want to watch. And when is that breaking? Come on.
Oh, it's this weekend.
Oh, it's this weekend? Yes. I'm already queued up for that. It's like a test trial.
And apparently they're not going to have breakdancing in L.A. I didn't know you could choose. I thought, like, once something's in, it's in. I thought so, too. Yeah, not so.
Why wouldn't the Olympic Committee be the ones who choose that?
I don't know. I guess it's per city, and I did not know this, but they were doing a whole thing on the breakdancing this morning when I was watching one of the news things, and they said, yeah... L.A. 's not going to have it.
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Chapter 7: How does the episode conclude on the topic of aliens and human experiences?
And I thought, well, that sucks.
So you just pick and choose which ones you want to have? Yes. This doesn't sound like very much fun. And why wouldn't L.A. choose to have break dancing? L.A. 's got a great street scene. Isn't L.A. kind of where break dancing started?
I mean, New York, L.A., yeah.
What the fuck? Come on, L.A., you're already disappointed. Come on, get it together. I better see a horse. Riding down that rain channel you got down there where the Terminator was filmed. I better see a silver horse with a fucking big eagle riding down that for 58 minutes before you light that thing or I'm going to fall asleep on you. It better be as crazy as Paris.
It better be twice as crazy as Paris.
It's really crazy.
And I don't want you to just fill it with a bunch of celebrities saying things and doing acting pieces or rap videos, whatever. I want true batshit crazy bullshit.
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Chapter 8: What alternative explanations are offered for alien experiences?
That's what I want from unknown artists.
I know Paris has upped the ante.
Yes, they have. When China did theirs in Beijing, we all went, oh, shit. But then Paris blew it out of the water. China did the precision. They had a precision show with thousands of drummers and flag wavers and fireworks and all this. But then Paris just... took some acid and decided to go crazy. And I'm here for it. I love it. I think it's great.
And I know a lot of other people are loving it too from our audience because we're getting a lot of feedback on the Olympic content. It's not my Olympic content. There are the ones actually doing it. I'm just talking about it. It's the Olympic of the mouth here at the commercial break. All right.
When we get back, we're going to be introduced to a lady who claims that she has been having sex with aliens for many years, giving her incredible orgasms. And Holly and whatever his name is, will bring us. I can't remember his name. Alex or something. Mike, Paul, John. We'll find out. We'll find out.
Let's all find out together.
We'll all find out together when we come back.
You already know who it is. Christina here to keep you actually informed, unlike some people we know. Brian, I've got certified, verified, factual information about our Florida shows. So listen up. We are coming to Dania Beach Improv on Tuesday, September 24th and the Funny Bone in Orlando on Wednesday, September 25th. And links to those tickets are in the show notes. So go get them.
In other completely new and interesting news, you should follow us on Instagram at The Commercial Break and on TikTok at TCB Podcast. And of course, go to our website, TCB Podcast dot com for all of our audio and video content. And finally, if you want to tell Brian and Chrissy that I am a pretty, pretty princess or that you hate me, text us or leave us a voicemail at 212-433-3TCB.
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