The Daily Show: Ears Edition
RFK Gets Carnivorous in New Food Pyramid & Hegseth Is Accused of Perfidy War Crime | Joachim Trier
14 Jan 2026
Chapter 1: What recent controversies surround Pete Hegseth and RFK Jr.?
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from the most trusted journalists at Comedy Central. It's America's only source for news. This is The Daily Show with your host, Jordan Klepper. We got so much to talk about tonight. Pete Hegseth meets his A.I. twin. RFK's brain worm is hungry for meat. And it's five o'clock somewhere. And by somewhere, I mean the Department of Labor.
So let's get into it with another installment of the worst wing. What a bunch of losers.
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Chapter 2: How is MLK Day being affected by the current administration?
Let's begin with Pete Hegseth, the Secretary of Defense slash war slash creatine. Now, he's been accused of committing war crimes by droning boats up and down the Venezuelan coast. And yesterday, he was accused of an entirely new war crime. So I hate to ask, what is it? A war crime called perfidy. Perfidy? Is that where we're at with this administration?
That we're studying up on the B-side war crimes? I mean, why do I feel like the Trump people got a crime of the day calendar and they're just trying to do them all? All right. All right, okay, so what is this terrible thing that we are apparently engaged in? Perfidy, which prevents combatants from intentionally fooling adversaries into believing they are civilians.
The aircraft used in the attack on September 2nd was painted to look like a civilian plane. Okay, all right, so if you're keeping track, not only did Pete Hegseth bomb people he was supposed to arrest, he then bombed their wreckage again, and he did it with a disguised military plane. My man did a war crime triple-double.
They are gonna hang his jersey up in the rafters next to Henry Kissinger's glasses. Moving on to another person that's been dipping his toe back into the worst wing, Elon Musk. Now, he's back in the news right now because his A.I. grok is in a bit of a controversy. The good news, it's not Hitler stuff this time. The bad news is what's replaced it.
Tonight, Grok, the AI tool from Elon Musk's company X, is under fire. The app, which has an image editing feature, is now being used to create non-consensual and sexualized deep bake images.
Grok was producing at least a dozen inappropriate images every minute. People were commanding the chat bot to take people's clothes off, basically.
Wow, okay, this is a tough one. On one hand, you are violating the consent of women around the world. But on the other hand, where else are you gonna find pictures of naked ladies online? We have the world's most powerful computers, and this is what we're doing with them.
I mean, when the printing press came out, we're monks like, okay, we'll get to the Gutenberg Bible, but first, let's make 40 copies of Gregor's ass cheeks, all right? Get on it. I mean, is every Trump cabinet member spending their whole day actively destroying the country? I mean, I don't even want to check in with the, I don't know, the labor secretary.
Labor Secretary Lori Chavez Jaremer is under an internal investigation. Of course! Of course you're under investigation. What, what, are you, are you crushing unions? Are you bringing back child labor? Are you declaring paternity leave kind of gay? What is it?
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Chapter 3: What insights does Joachim Trier share about his film 'Sentimental Value'?
What, what terrible thing is it? The complaint alleges she pursued an inappropriate relationship with a subordinate, including several visits to an apartment and hotel rooms while traveling. That's it? in an inappropriate relationship, how the can you? That's not evil. That's not even perfidie or what have you. That's the kind of throwback scandal we had in the 90s. Cowabunga, dude, you know?
Come on, tell me more. The complaint alleges drinking in the office during the workday, including a reported stash of champagne, bourbon, and Kahlua. Okay. Kahlua, huh? You're a cabinet secretary. You're not a college freshman building up the courage to lose your virginity at a frat party. You know what? You have disgraced your office with your alleged personal conduct.
And let me just say, thank you. It is such a relief to have a scandal based on a Trump official not doing their job instead of doing an evil job too well. But let's move on from people accused of having affairs to something completely different. Health Secretary RFK Jr. The man with a face for radio and a voice for closed captioning. And now... Now...
Yes, now RFK Jr., he's telling you what to eat and drink if you want to be just as healthy as him.
At a White House briefing, Health Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr. introduced new guidelines that emphasize eating proteins, fresh vegetables, dairy products, and whole grains, while cutting back on processed foods and added sugar.
On alcohol, Americans should limit consumption. In the best-case scenario, I don't think you should drink alcohol. Ah. Great news. We're not in the best-case scenario right now. No. No. That's not where we are. No. If we were in the best-case scenario, our health wouldn't be in the hands of a man who looks like a 1930s basketball.
So, if you'll excuse me, Secretary Lori and I will keep pounding those white Russians, thank you very much. But, okay. All right, so lots of protein, full-fat dairy, and alcohol if you're keeping up with the news. And I'm assuming there's a simple, logical graphic to help understand the new recommendations.
See the food pyramid here?
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Chapter 4: How does Joachim Trier describe the filmmaking process with actors?
It's upside down, a lot of you will say. But it was actually upside down before, and we just righted it.
He sounds healthy. Real healthy, yeah. No, you know what? I'm pretty sure this one is upside down, unless I'm misremembering every pyramid photo I've ever seen. You know what? Don't worry. Don't worry about the confusing food pyramid, because the health department is also spreading the word with the most dynamic, charismatic spokesman they could find.
Three cheers for whole milk.
Good stuff. Yeah. This is going to get the kids to drink milk. Timothy Chalamet, yawn. Kaisanat, pass. Oh, shit, is that former HUD secretary Ben Carson? Sign me up. Also, you're making Ben Carson drink a glass of milk? The drink that famously helps us fall asleep at night? Are you insane? If Ben Carson gets any sleepier, he could die. You know what?
I'm sure the guidelines to eat more meat and dairy is based on the best possible science and nothing else. We should note, of the 10 people on Kennedy's team, half reported financial ties to the beef, pork, or dairy industries. Wow. Wow. You know what? In any other administration, I'd say half of the team had financial ties.
But with the Trump administration, I'd say, wow, only half had financial ties. You know what? That's three cheers of whole milk, you know? Good stuff. Good stuff. For more on RFK Jr. 's revamped food pyramid, we go live to the Department of Health with Troy Iwata. Troy! Troy! So, what's the latest?
Jordan, health officials here are very excited. With a pyramid this easy to read, Americans should be lean and fit just in time for the coming race war.
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Chapter 5: What themes does 'Sentimental Value' explore regarding family dynamics?
You know... I'm surprised to hear that. I found the new food pyramid a little confusing.
What's confusing about it? You just eat more healthy foods at the top of the pyramid, like fruit, and then avoid unhealthy foods at the bottom of the pyramid, you know, like fruit.
Yeah. Right. Yeah. That's what I mean. I can't even tell what the bottom or the top is.
Okay, Jordan, I can't keep explaining tops and bottoms to you. Listen, how many times do I have to say it? You'd understand if you just watched Heated Rivalry.
I'm just saying they could make the pyramids less confusing.
Oh, oh, okay. Okay, all right. So the pyramid's not working for you. You want something different. Yeah, maybe like a different shape. A different wonder of the world. I got it. Okay, well, you're in luck. Health officials have also released the food Taj Mahal. Again. Again. Again, it's very simple to read. Foods serving as minaret structures. They should be eaten in moderation.
You want to focus on the foods in the finials, Iwans, and the high pishtak.
I'm sorry. What the hell is the high pishtak? Again, Jordan, you really have to watch Heated Rivalry. No, look. No, do they go to the Taj Mahal in Heated Rivalry? God, where don't they go? No, look, no. Look, can you bring that graphic up again? Did Froot Loops lobby for this chart? Why is Toucan Sam in the picture? Okay, first of all, it's Dr. Toucan Sam.
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Chapter 6: How does the new food pyramid proposed by RFK Jr. differ from previous guidelines?
And she is in the photo because she specializes in nutrition. And she also donated $10 million to Trump's ballroom.
Okay. I'm going to be honest. I find the food Taj Mahal extremely hard to understand.
Okay. Okay. Well, they did make some other charts for remedial children that you'll probably like. This is called the food spiral. Okay. So each curve... alternates a health food and an unhealthy food.
The tighter the spiral, the worse the food, unless the spiral is counterclockwise. I'm confused and I'm dizzy now. Why do the words milk meat keep flashing? To remind everyone to have their milk meat. I'm sorry. All of these visuals are terrible. Okay, well, maybe you're just not a visual learner. Would you like to hear some of the new FDA nutrition recommendation riddles?
What in God's name is a nutrition recommendation riddle? Here's one. It's my favorite. Eat this food. Yum, yum, yum. Put it in your tum, tum, tum. That's not a riddle. That could describe every food. Wrong. Wrong. The answer is obviously milk meat. What is milk meat? Jordan, go watch Cheated Rivalry. 21, everyone. When we come back, Charlamagne Tha God gives us his opinion. Don't go away.
Welcome back to The Daily Show. We all know I've got great opinions, but I'm not the only one. Studies show that other people also have opinions. So, here with another installment of In My Opinion is our good friend, Charlamagne Tha God.
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Chapter 7: What are the implications of the new food recommendations on public health?
Hello, hello, hello. Martin Luther King Jr. Day is right around the corner, which means two things. One, if Al Sharpton sees his shadow six more weeks of winter... That's right. And two, we're about to get the worst party flyers you've ever seen. That's real, by the way, okay? And the party wasn't nearly as fun as they made it look.
Personally, I'm going to be celebrating it like it's the last MLK Day because the way things are going, it might be. NBC News has learned that the Defense Intelligence Agency has ordered a pause on all events related to MLK Day or Black History Month. National Park Service will no longer offer free admission on Martin Luther King Jr. Day nor on Juneteenth.
That's right, the national parks are going from free at last, free at last, the bitch better have my money. And I know some white people out there are like, why do you care? Black people don't go camping. First of all, that's racist, okay? And second, you're correct.
But when white people go get a free day in the parks, we finally get to experience what it's like to be in an empty Whole Foods, okay? What I'm worried about is that this backsliding on MLK Day is just the first step toward getting rid of it altogether. Because if you don't know, it was a hard fight to get the national holiday in the first place.
It took 15 years after Dr. King's death to become a law. And some of you may be thinking, 15 years? But that I'm Just a Bill song only took three minutes. Yeah, because he was a white bill, all right? They never told you that he was a bill to resegregate golf courses. And you should see that bill's friend. Dude's been waiting on the Capitol steps for 20 years.
And when Ronald Reagan was finally pressured into signing the bill in 1983, you could tell he was a little salty about it. Just two weeks ago, Mr. Reagan said he would have liked an unofficial holiday.
I would have preferred that, but since they seem bent on making it a national holiday, I believe the symbolism of that day is important enough that I would, I'll sign that legislation when it reaches my desk.
Yeah, that's the tone of voice that means, fine, have your little holiday, okay? I'll tell the CIA to gift wrap some crack as a present. No wonder Reagan got Alzheimer's. He was like, I'll make it a holiday, but I want to forget that shit immediately. But even if Reagan caved, a lot of Republicans had a dream that one day they could turn people against Dr. King, and that dream still lives on.
Racist text messages allegedly sent by President Trump's handpicked nominee to lead the Office of Special Counsel. One from January of last year, quote, MLK Jr. was the 1960s George Floyd and his holiday should be ended and tossed into the seventh circle of hell where it belongs. Martin Luther King Jr. whose whole life was a ditty party.
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Chapter 8: What reflections does Charlamagne Tha God offer on MLK Day and its significance?
Oranges and smoking and fighting and whipping up on women. Martin Luther King Jr. make a ditty party look like a Catholic convent school. Lord have mercy. White people, if that guy is your one black friend, it does not count, okay? Like, a Diddy party? Like, whatever his faults, Dr. King wasn't Diddy by any stretch.
But also, if Diddy managed to pass the Civil Rights Act, I'd let a few things slide. Not the domestic violence, but a thousand bottles of baby oil, sure. That bill would have slid right through Congress, all right? The surprising thing about the rights defamation at MLK is just how unsurprising it is. MAGA conservatives have traded in their dog whistle for a racism bullhorn.
Elon Musk endorses a post on X calling for, quote, white solidarity.
White men are better at all of these tasks than the allegedly underprivileged communities that are replacing them. Blacks need to be imprisoned for the most part.
and we would live in paradise. It's that simple. It's literally that simple. Yeah, I'm sorry, but when I hear pure, unadulterated racism like that, you know, as a man from South Carolina, it just makes me a little homesick, all right? I mean, they cooked up that hate speech just like my Scrum Thurman used to make it. And even if you call them out on it, these racists have friends in high places.
In the United States of America, you don't have to apologize for being white anymore. When the f*** have white people ever apologized for being white? Okay? What are we talking about? Come on, man. White people barely apologize for being black on Halloween. The only sorry I've ever gotten from a white person was, oh, sorry, I thought you worked here. All right?
But there's still one reason to have hope that we can preserve MLK Day, because all of us, regardless of race, color, or creed, enjoy that sweet three-day weekend. All right? And if MLK Day goes away, what are they going to replace it with? Congresswoman Claudia Tenney of New York introduced legislation to make Trump's birthday a federal holiday. You got to be kidding me.
Yeah.
Yeah, replace an MLK day with a holiday honoring Trump would be insulting, racist, and unnecessary. But you know what? A day off is a day off, okay? I mean, it. We've all seen Trump's face. We'll call it prune teeth, all right? But hey, that's just my opinion. Charlamagne Tha God, everybody. When we come back, Joaquin Trier will be joining me on the show. Don't go away.
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