TikTok Shutdown Looms, Israel - Hamas Ceasefire Agreement, and Trump-Style Lawyers | ALOK
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What is the latest on the Israel-Hamas ceasefire?
But for now, let's talk about another crisis just as serious as what's happening in the Middle East. I'm talking about TikTok. A.K.A. the reason your thumb is so frickin' jacked. I find that genuinely disturbing. TikTok is the hottest app in the U.S., and next week, it's frickin' gone.
First, a story that is on a lot of people's minds this morning, the looming shutdown of TikTok here in the U.S. Yeah, a federal ban on this popular Chinese-owned app is set to take effect on Sunday. The argument from the U.S. government is that TikTok presents a national security risk and that the Chinese-owned company is stealing user data.
Why is TikTok facing a shutdown in the U.S.?
Y'all, we are so indescribably cooked. I know the government's argument is, oh, we want to protect your data. F*** you and the data, bitch! The United States has done a lot of stupid things. This has to be number one.
That's the number one worst thing? I mean, we did slavery in America. I mean, let's at least call it a tie, shall we? TikTok users are upset about this, but there's not much they can do. Congress passed a bill, the president signed it, and the Supreme Court seems ready to rule that the ban is constitutional, which I don't think we can be surprised by, because this is... is not exactly TikTok's core demographic. I mean, they're more of a Walgreens app type of crowd. They're old and sickly, is what I'm saying. I mean, the last time the Supreme Court heard the sound TikTok was when death was following RBG around. Although, there's still a chance that TikTok can be saved before the Costco guys are euthanized on Sunday.
So TikTok would be allowed to keep operating if it's sold to an American owner, and there's no shortage of interest.
New names are surfacing as potential buyers for the platform, including Elon Musk. Mr. Beast has joined the bid to buy TikTok. Former Treasury Secretary Steve Mnuchin previously launched an effort to buy it. And Shark Tank star Kevin O'Leary says he and other investors are also making a play.
Yes! There is still a chance TikTok could be sold to one of America's many rich weirdos. Apparently, Lex Luthor wasn't available. So this is the best America has to offer. I mean, I actually heard myself say, man, I hope that TikTok goes to someone sane, like Mr. Beast. I mean, can't there be one cool potential buyer? Shaquille O'Neal, I'm talking to you. Stop buying so many Papa John's franchises and get real about your investment future. The trad wives and the big-headed bitches with the trench coats buttoned up to the top need you. But if no American buyer emerges, there's still one more wild card. The wild card. Donald Trump. Now, he tried to ban TikTok during his first term, but he's now trying to save the app.
And you'll never guess why he had a change of heart.
I have a warm spot in my heart for TikTok because I won youth by 34 points. And there are those that say that TikTok has something to do with that.
I was on TikTok for the election and I won the young people by 36 points. I'm not opposed to TikTok.
That's right. TikTok helped Trump. So now TikTok is good. And by the way, if you're wondering whether Trump won the youth vote by 34 points or 36 points, the answer is he lost the youth vote by 11 points. Slight, just a slight discrepancy right there. Basically the same thing. So all this is up in the air. But TikTok users are not waiting around to find out how this is going to play out.
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Chapters
6 chapters
1
What is the latest on the Israel-Hamas ceasefire?
1:31–2:09
2
Why is TikTok facing a shutdown in the U.S.?
2:09–7:54
3
What are the potential alternatives to TikTok?
7:54
4
How does Trump view TikTok now?
6:17–17:53
5
What legal troubles might you face and how to avoid them?
17:53–19:27
6
What is Alok's new comedy special about?
19:27–27:50
Speakers
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