Chapter 1: What are the consequences of a losing fantasy week?
Coming off a losing fantasy week, that means you're one week closer to losing your league. That's stressful, which can lead to nighttime teeth grinding. Dentek wants to prevent teeth grinding and has raised the fantasy stakes with a once-in-a-lifetime punishment. Keep an eye out for the ultimate fantasy football punishment reveal at the NFL Pro Bowl. or on Dentek.com slash ultimate punishment.
If you're still feeling fantasy stress, try a Dentek nighttime dental guard to protect your teeth. Available at all major retailers.
All right, kicking things off with Smirnoff, the official vodka sponsor of the NFL and the number one vodka in the world. Chris Cody, you're here. Smirnoff!
Chapter 2: How does Dentek address nighttime teeth grinding?
Wow, you're on the money with Smirnoff. Smirnoff! Chris, you know what goes great with Smirnoff? Smirnoff! Yes, but I'm really talking about the game day fit. The style's got to match the vibe. Smirnoff!
Chapter 3: What are the ultimate fantasy football punishments revealed?
All right, here's the deal. Game day is everything. And that's exactly why your fit has to match the occasion. Smirnoff! Starting this December, Smirnoff is giving fans 21 and over the chance to score limited edition Smirnoff commission merchandise from some of today's top creators, including Kayla Jones, Gavin Matthew, and Alaylee May.
Smirnoff!
Here's the kicker. One lucky fan will take home the grand prize, a trip to the biggest game of the offseason. Plus, one fan will win Alaylee May's one-of-one game day jacket. Wow. The merch will be dropped on select dates from December to January 21, and it's all courtesy of what brand?
Smirnoff!
That's right, Chris. Fans 21 and over can head to Smirnoff Socials to learn how to sign up. And don't forget to grab a bottle of Smirnoff vodka, number 21, at your local retail. Smirnoff. Please drink responsibly. Smirnoff. Number 21 vodka distilled from grain, 40% alcohol by volume. The Smirnoff Company, New York, New York. Please do not share with anybody under legal drinking age. Smirnoff.
No purchase necessary. Must be legal. U.S. resident, 21 or older. Sweepstake starts 12-15-2025 at 12 a.m. Eastern and ends 1-23-2026 at 11-59-59 p.m. Eastern. See official rules at program website. Mike, you know I have one rule to live by, right? Don't place parlays on multiple long shots. Don't say a game is won when it hasn't hit triple zero. Always drink your JƤgermeister ice cold.
That's the rule. Everything else is merely a suggestion. Everything else? Everything else. Wearing clean underwear every day? Well, that's just a personal decision. Brushing your teeth? Obviously smart, but not a rule.
Never pee-pee on an electric fence.
Okay, maybe there are two rules, but the one that is 100% that I insist on completely, Jagermeister, must be drank ice cold. Or don't drink it at all. Damn, that's cold. Exactly. You're finally starting to get it. Drink responsibly.
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Chapter 4: What is the significance of Udonis Haslem in this episode?
No, you think the people of America actually have a voice in anything that goes on anymore? Get out of here. That's the truest thing he's ever said in his entire life.
I can make a difference.
Corporatists versus oligarchs.
Listen, if you think you can make a difference, go adopt a dog this weekend at Dan's Dogathon. But can't say Disney's not gonna do anything.
I'm an ally!
I love the animals! Love the dogs. And cats too. Little less than the dogs, but we love cats. We like cats. It is Saturday from 8.30 to noon, Humane Society Miami. Dan's Dog-a-thon. Or Dan's Dog-a-thon, if you prefer to call it that. That's fine. Just make sure that you help the animals. Billy seems to be very concerned about Tua. Tua hasn't been the same since Billy bought his jersey.
That guy. You think that's what it is now that we're talking it out? That's what it is, right?
That might be the thing with you, yeah.
I mean, I was, not to make this too much about me, but I was with my now wife for probably like nine years or something before we got engaged. And with Tua, it was like a year. And I bought a jersey. That was quite the commitment on my part. He's made me look like a fool.
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Chapter 5: How does Tua Tagovailoa manage concussion prevention?
Call 1-800-GAMBLER. In New York, call 877-8-HOPE-NY or text HOPE-NY 467-369. In Connecticut, help is available for problem gambling. Call 888-789-7777 or visit ccpg.org. Please play responsibly. On behalf of Boot Hill Casino and Resort in Kansas, pass-through of per-wager tax may apply in Illinois. 21 and over. Age and eligibility varies by jurisdiction. Void in Ontario. Restrictions apply.
Mike, you know I have one rule to live by, right? Don't place parlays on multiple long shots. Don't say a game is won when it hasn't hit triple zero. Mm-hmm. Always drink your JƤgermeister ice cold. That's the rule. Everything else is merely a suggestion. Everything else? Everything else. Wearing clean underwear every day? Well, that's just a personal decision. Brushing your teeth?
Obviously smart, but not a rule.
Never pee-pee on an electric fence?
Okay, maybe there are two rules, but the one that is 100% that I insist on completely, JƤgermeister must be drank ice cold. Or don't drink it at all. Damn, that's cold. Exactly. You're finally starting to get it. Drink responsibly.
Jagermeister Liqueur, 35% alcohol by volume. Imported by Mass Jagermeister U.S., White Plains, New York.
Don Levitard. John, can you rate my Al Pacino from that billiard scene in Carlito's Way if I do it for you? I think it's pretty good. Yeah. Stugatz.
You think you're big time? But you're gonna die!
Big time! That is on my infamous scale of 1 to 10. That's a 7.6. Solid.
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Chapter 6: What humorous insights are shared about hydration and diet?
Good job, Dan.
Good job. That's a suey nominee right there.
This is the Dan Levitar Show with the Stugats.
If he hasn't improved yet, what gives you the indication that he's going to improve? Because I've seen no indication so far as we prepare to go to the Dentek bucket that he's capable of making memorable content.
I mean, Dan... To be fair, Sam Darnold was bad for a long time, and then he got good. Geno Smith the same way. Maybe Brady will take a couple of years and be good. That's not how it works in broadcasting.
Guys that are thought to be bad, they get Jason Wittened. Oh, no. People with primetime, big marquee jobs. Maybe we do this experiment for a couple of seasons, but at a certain point...
Not as long, though, as to Tony's point, he keeps adding value and making sales. He's not good at it, but he's bringing in a ton of money for them.
They're going to keep him around. The Bucket is presented by Dentek's Ultimate Fantasy Football Punishment. Learn more and sign up your league at Dentek.com. Tony's going first here, and finally people are paying their punishments around here. Tony, what did you get? Picked a good one, Dan. Let's see. I got the Steelers. The Steelers are, where are they here? Where are the Steelers?
They might be on a bye.
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