Chapter 1: What are the highlights of Skip Bayless's return?
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Incredible. He really did it. Great performance. I am very excited for this weekend, guys. Very, very excited. We are hopping in the Zaslow Mobile this afternoon. Me and my... I got my son and a couple of his... My older son and a couple of his teenage friends throwing them in the back seat. And me and my younger son were in the front seat. I'm driving, Dave.
I'm not sure... What a dad he is! I thought you were patting yourself on the back. No modesty here. This is a dad... Now... If the Heat and or Panthers were playing on Saturday night, I don't know if you'd still be making this trip. But either way, he's to be hailed. What a dad you are. Driving these punks all over Florida.
And his friends were going to Orlando today. I'm dropping them at Rolling Loud. That's like the world's biggest hip-hop festival, all right? I don't know who's performing, you know, but they're into it. My son loves rap. So they're going to Rolling Loud the whole weekend. And then tomorrow, they're staying in Orlando. And me and my younger one, we're making the trek a little bit west.
We're going to Tampa. WWE Backlash. Backlash. We're going to be sitting ringside. We'll be right there. Ringside? Hell yeah, dog. You got that kind of juice. Come on, son.
Did you cash those bonds?
It's funny that you say that. I have not cashed them yet. My wife, every other week, my wife's like, when are you going to cash these? When are you going to cash these?
Wasn't the plan to have that cover your John Cena trip?
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Chapter 2: How do the hosts feel about James Harden's playoff performance?
That's the problem, right? Just for an ATM. That's the problem.
Just for an ATM.
No, but I got to go in and I got to give them the stuff. Like, that's the problem. What a big week today, tomorrow, Saturday. So that's right. Very big week today, tomorrow. Going to WWE Backlash tomorrow.
You're going to get in the car. You could just put your feet up in the mansion, but instead you're going to drive, what, three hours?
Yeah. Three hours today. To Orlando. Yeah. And it's like 90 minutes from Orlando to Tampa tomorrow.
By the way. To the people in Orlando who hit me up on social media and otherwise, I was not attempting to offend you. I was just asking questions as an outsider to your lovely state. Now, Orlando, then you will continue your journey to Tampa, which is another two hours from Orlando.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
90 minutes. Driving here, there, and everywhere. And it makes you a great dad to do that. The key detail is it's not just your boys. It's their pals. Yeah. Which is a handful. I also think that these are things you enjoy, right? I mean, you said you don't care about the hip hop and notably you're not going to be at the hip hop, but you do care about the WWE.
Very much.
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Chapter 3: What comparisons are made between Harden and other athletes?
All right. Whatever. Like, I'm all right.
It's a very special thing. It's an honor, actually. Or so we're told. I'm one of them. Repeatedly.
Oh, my God. Dude, I hope we all have the T. We should have all worn our T-shirts, right? And our caps and everything to let the world know that in a 50-50 proposition. Damn, why'd they cut to Roy? In which you were a relatively passive participant in the creation of. You probably didn't do that.
Half.
Well, you didn't do. Oh, well, my participation was quite powerful, as usual.
but uh we provide the surprisingly so vigorous vigorous lovemaker but that's not what we're talking about um that yeah okay so coin flip it went one way and now you're a hero for that i or or is it are you the hero everyone here's a girl dad except me because you care about because because you because you go the extra mile you're just bitter because you have more boys no no no not everybody here is a girl dad uh dave he he has a daughter but he's not a girl dad i have
No, I have two boys and I have two girls. You're saying you object. No, no, you're not a girl, Dad.
Vigorous love.
You're just a dad.
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Chapter 4: What insights do the hosts share about being a 'girl dad'?
Where'd you go, the pantry? Were you able to emotionally connect with the girl?
We talked about... I mean, I'm sitting there, and I'm like, can you imagine 20-year-old Dave talking to this girl about the thing she was interested in? I mean, I was... I love being a girl dad!
You might be a girl dad. Can I tell you, so I don't have any daughters. I have two boys, which the Zaslows, that's not a surprise because the Zaslows have not produced a female in over a hundred years that sounds that's true explain what you mean by this because what you just said cannot be not a cousin in fact true it's a weird well nope not an uncle because that would be an ant
It's a weird thing. We don't produce females. There has not been a female Zaslow in over 100 years on our family tree. We don't have females. We don't produce females. I have an aunt, my aunt Blanche. We don't make Blanches anymore.
104 years of age.
Well, no, she died a while ago, but she was born. Feel good, Dave? She was born early, last cent, like in the 19, maybe like 1915.
Oh, like Nellie Doogie.
So she was the last female Zazzler. It's been over. So it's been like around 110 years. It's been over 100 years since we produced a female. Why is that hard to believe?
Did that make you want to have another kid just to give another crack at it?
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Chapter 5: How do the hosts discuss the importance of championship titles?
Give us the tools of the trade. I don't want to be crude, but there is a way to guarantee. I'm telling you, if doggy style was the way, we'd have all boys. Well, in my family... That's the way.
Somehow, amidst this entire conversation, somehow Chris Cody... That's somehow worse than anything you've said this week. I had a girl! I switch it up.
Zaslow style.
It's been over 100 years. But, okay, how many at-bats have there been that has yielded a batting average of zero for the Zaslow clan for a century?
Okay, I told you, my aunt... This is over 100 years ago, 1915, something like that. Her brother is my grandfather. He had two boys, my father and my uncle. My uncle had two boys. My father had two boys, one of them me. I had two boys. My cousin, my uncle's son, had two boys. And here we are. It's been over 100 years.
Those bar mitzvahs must be the worst, the worst sausage parties of all time. I mean, geez louise.
Well, like the family members, we marry women, and so there are women there.
It's not an entire party of men. You ever seen the SNL of the Sandler party? That's how I imagine the Zaslow party.
Yeah! All with backwards hats. Awesome.
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Chapter 6: What are the expectations for the Lakers without Luka?
All right, we can just move on. Bunch of clone girls to go along with the Zaslow men.
Go clones.
Look at this.
It'll be quite a day when that streak is broken. Like I said, over 100 years.
I feel sad for you, ultimately, Zach. Whatever. Well, you don't know what it is. You don't know the joy. But I'm doing okay. I know, but you don't know what it is to be a girl dad.
I'm actually awesome. To be a hero, really.
You know, to look in the mirror sometimes and go like, what?
To be able to connect with one of those.
This life, I never saw being a girl dad as a part of it, but here we are.
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Chapter 7: What strategies do the hosts suggest for sports debate?
Then the text from my buddy Eagle Eye comes in. Mike, we've got the games on. I say, yeah. I grab a pack of Miller Lite and immediately my plan's gone. Now it's playoff basketball. Every possession feels huge. Baseball's on another screen and I somehow care about that too. Everybody's got takes flying. Nobody's watching just one thing. and we're all way more into it than we ever expected.
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Don Libertard. Doesn't matter anywhere. We could do it in Buffalo or Baltimore. Eva. He said you could do it where? Anywhere. Oh, whoa. Oh, that's crazy. That's crazy.
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Chapter 8: How do the hosts react to Skip Bayless's controversial statements?
That's crazy. He said he could do it anywhere. That's crazy. Murder. Murder. Tell him.
Stugatz. I had no idea Mean had that in his locker.
That might be his best. That's crazy. I'm not kidding. That's crazy, killer.
It's two Americas, Dad. You don't get it?
This is the Don Levitas Show with the Stugatz.
So last night... So last night, James Harden, 3 of 13, 0 for 4 from 3, 10 points, 3 assists, 4 turnovers, another playoff performance with more turnovers. then field goals made and assists in this case. And the Cavaliers, they go down 0-2, losing 107-97 to Detroit. It's obviously a pathetic performance from James Harden. The turnovers are really weird. It's a lot of dribbling.
It's a lot of dribbling in front of the defender. The defender just swipes the ball away. Brutal turnover. What was it, a two-possession game? Five or six points with, like, 50 seconds left. And he just essentially hands the ball to Asar Thompson, and the game ends in that spot. He's, like, he's awful in the playoffs. And I almost, you know, there—
He's had his playoff struggles throughout his career, but correct me if I'm wrong, I almost feel like, because we know the regular season is one kind of game and the postseason is another kind of game, and it's almost as if the current age that he's at, the playoff style and playing against, not only playing against teams that are good defensively every single night, but also officials officiate the game differently in the postseason, this is not a style of play that he could succeed in anymore.
This reminds me a little bit of Clayton Kershaw, where there's almost like the self-fulfilling prophecy of everyone had this reputation for you, whether it was right or not in your prime. And then as you age, you only have less and less success come the postseason. And so in turn, people are reinforcing the idea they have about you. But James Harden is a historic playoff dropper.
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