My Boyfriend Just Revealed His Troubled Sex Life . . .
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What insecurities arise from my boyfriend's sexual past?
I found out that my boyfriend has had a more colorful sexual history than I was originally aware of. And my last relationship, it was so awful. He, I guess, would try and do the same thing and coerce me into his sexual deviancy.
What in the world is going on? This is John with the Dr. John Deloney Show. Hope you are doing incredible, wherever you find yourself. also know that not everybody's doing incredible right now and so wherever you happen to be i'm glad that you've joined us whether you're sitting in a park somewhere and it's freezing cold and you're just listening to the show or you're going for a walk or a run or you're cleaning the house or driving somewhere thank you so much for being with us it means the absolute world on this show we talk about your emotional health your mental health um your relationships your kids your your spouse whatever you got going on in your world I'd love to have you on the show. Give me a call, 1-844-693-3291 or johndeloney.com slash ask. It does mean the world to us that you're here. And it makes a big difference if you will take one second and like the show, subscribe to it if you're watching this on YouTube, or leave a quick review of a jillion stars. It means the world to me. Thank you so, so much.
And it does help get the show out there to more people. people all right let's go to laredo texas and talk to brianna what's up brianna hi uh how's it going i'm doing great how about you oh i'm doing all right myself excellent so what's up in your world uh well nothing too much uh but my question yeah what's your question
Yeah, my question for you today is I found out that my boyfriend has had a more colorful sexual history than I was originally aware of.
How do I deal with feelings of irrational insecurity?
That's a very colorful way to put that. Well done.
Yeah. Obviously, I won't go into too much detail about what exactly that entails.
Go into all the details that you want to. It'll help the show. I'm just kidding. Totally kidding. You talk about what you're comfortable with. All right, so he had a past.
Yeah. Um, just did a lot of things that I wasn't really aware of. And now I just cannot help but feel this like deep sense of insecurity that I know is completely irrational. Uh, but I don't really know how to deal with that or how to get over it.
So what if I told you, I don't think it's irrational. Why do you think it's irrational?
it's all in the past it doesn't really like it's not really anything that currently happens of course and like all of those things weren't things that he had wanted to do they were kind of thrust upon him yeah so it was it was an abuse situation or an assault situation I put it in coercion like strong coercion okay
And when you say you just recently found out, are you also wrestling with him not being honest with you, or has he been pretty straight up? It's just come in waves, if you will.
I guess it's not exactly that he had been dishonest. I guess it just never came up.
It just never came up? Yeah. Kudos to him for not leading with that. That happens sometimes these days. So I don't think you're irrational. I think we're wired to look to our right and look to our left and ask ourselves, how do we measure up? And I think it's dealing with that and working through it. But I don't think you're crazy. I don't know if that makes you feel any better, but I don't think you're crazy.
Yeah. I feel a little crazy.
No, you're like, no, no, no, I'm crazy. So when you kind of spin out a little bit, walk me through that.
What should I know about emotional health and past relationships?
Um, I guess if I were to go into like a specific thing, I just had like, I didn't, I wasn't angry at him, but like I was more so angry at myself and I had just started crying and I just, I don't even really know how that happened.
Tell me why you were angry at yourself.
Um, Well, I think I just always have this constant battle in myself between a need for modesty and a need to feel desired. And in my brain, I can't do both.
Ah, dude, that's really insightful. Is there part of you that had a picture of people who...
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Chapters
7 chapters
1
What insecurities arise from my boyfriend's sexual past?
0:05–2:00
2
How do I deal with feelings of irrational insecurity?
2:00–4:20
3
What should I know about emotional health and past relationships?
4:20–10:28
4
How can I balance raising my grandson while living my own life?
10:28–15:21
5
What steps can I take to prioritize my own needs?
15:21–18:53
6
How do I cope with feelings of grief from past experiences?
18:53–21:09
7
What strategies can help me manage my thoughts about my partner's past?
21:09–1:03:52